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[Yoink]

Feeling really sad and hopeless all of a sudden*. Ugh.

*not really sudden, been so all day. Just worse now.

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

The move getting you down?

[Yoink]

Yeah.
Seems like just yesterday I was all enthusiastic and excited and filled with determination to make things work... Edit: but now the obstacles are insurmountable, everything's doubtless going to go wrong and there's no point to anything anyway because I'll never be happy no matter what I do.

One hell of a nasty mood swing. 
Who knows, my irrational fears and sadnesses just might be right.

[Reelya]

Man, reading about that rave club fire in Oakland. Horrible stuff, feel for everyone involved. Except the owner of the club, who sounds like a total douche.

After the fire, he tweet how he was relieved his family was ok and it was terrible that he lost all his stuff. Not a word about the victims of the fire or their families. I was 50/50 at that point, but then I heard that he'd previously laughed off the safety inspectors (multiple times) and concerned friends when they tried to warn him about how unsafe the building was. The only way down from upstairs was a stairwell made out of wooden pallets, there was no safety equipment of any type, and the place was jam packed with wooden furniture and nicknacks. Total deathtrap party hovel, run by a hipster douchebag who can't even say a word for the victims.

[itisnotlogical]

Wouldn't they have had some sort of authority to shut the place down if it'd been found dangerous multiple times? If the city doesn't have that power then I hope they get it soon.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Wow, I knew the wooden pallet trend was dumb, but now it has actually killed people.

[Shadowlord]

Wow. And here I was ignoring this news because I figured it was just another random unpredictable disaster which the media was choosing to splash everywhere simply because news was slow. (Also to keep fear alive)

[Reelya]

Wouldn't they have had some sort of authority to shut the place down if it'd been found dangerous multiple times? If the city doesn't have that power then I hope they get it soon.

He was running the parties illegally without a permit, so there was no above-board thing to "shut down", so all they could do was tell him "this warehouse/artspace your living in is dangerous, fix it up".

Obviously his illegal gigs went under the radar.

[Shadowlord]

Since when do you need a permit to have a party?

[Reelya]

If your charging money to go to a gig you do. He was having bands and DJ playing and charging money to go, with fliers and stuff. You do need a permit for that sort of thing. You can't just rent a commercial space and put gigs on, call it a "party" and not have any rules or laws you need to follow.

[Sirus]

I would imagine that there are capacity limits to worry about as well.

[Reelya]

Holy shit, a new article just rolled into my feed about it:
http://www.news.com.au/world/north-america/tenants-describe-the-death-trap-warehouse-where-30-people-died-in-fire/news-story/4636016c247aa05848eaade3fae858ce

It was often freezing cold in the building. Water and power were sometimes stolen from neighbours, who would get angry and shut them off. One time, a generator blew up and residents quickly doused the flames, she said. Ms Mack said she didn’t know the ramshackle dwelling was illegal until after she moved in. She was instructed to tell visitors it was a 24-hour workspace for artists, and when inspectors or other outsiders came to visit, she and other residents scurried to hide clothes, bedding and other evidence anyone was living there.

Oakland officials say at least 30 people perished when a fire ripped through the cluttered space during a dance party on Friday night, and the death toll is expected to rise.

It was crammed with rugs, old sofas and a garage-sale-like collection of pianos, paintings, turntables, statues and other items that quickly fed the flames. “All kinds of electrical cords running through there illegally. Massive extension cords. Heavy musical equipment,” Ms Mack said. “They lure you in with all these promises about what they’re going to do with your deposit and your rent,” she said. “They don’t do any of it, they just party with it.”

Access to the second floor — where there was a room for concerts and a home for the couple and their children — was a rickety, homemade staircase, she said. “Calling it a staircase gives you the idea that it was a set of stairs. It was not,” Ms Boudreaux said. “It was random pieces of wood put together to create something that you could get up to the top floor on. But it was not what most people would consider a staircase. It was like a jimmy-rigged makeshift staircase. As soon as you stepped on it, it wobbled all over the place.”

“I had told her parents explicitly that the warehouse conditions were not safe,” Ms Boudreaux said. “Half the time they didn’t even have running water, let alone heated water. They were using little electric heaters. There was cat (faeces) everywhere. Piles and piles of random driftwood that had nails sticking out of it.” She said Ms Almena continually moved pieces of wood around the space. “Two weeks later it could be a completely different configuration,” she said. “Even people who knew the building would have a hard time getting out.”

[hops]

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[Solifuge]

Not worried. But I do feel for you.

If it helps, you can be utilitarian about it, and think about it as a transaction (if that's how they're treating this); they don't have any more power over your life or long-term happiness than what you're willing to give them, in order to get whatever benefit you get out of associating with them. If they won't strive to make things better and fix their own shit, the day will come when you don't need them for what few things they do offer, anymore. You're not bound to them, even if they're family.

Also, I can promise... it absolutely gets better.

[Amperzand]

It really, really can get better.