Oh alright
this wasn't so much tough love as maybe a lack of self-awareness on TBF's part. Maybe a mixture of the two though...
I was expecting a back and forth with TBF on that one, though I s'pose I should've been a bit more forthcoming.
Anyhow, when I say excuses, I mean obstructions that are small in comparison to the intended goal, which is to find something meaningful.
So what if it's hard to find things, or get there by walking? You claim there's something missing in your life but you're not sure what it is. You're not going to find out by not doing anything about it
If it's a lack of meaningful human contact (which, as an introvert, I know is bloody hard to find sometimes) you need to seek it out. If you're out of practice doing it, then yeah it'll be awkward for a time, but so what? If you don't practice something, it'll take you a while to shake the rust off. It is a scary task, but that doesn't mean you need to run away from it.
Example: I utterly loathe using the phone. Full-on stress response whenever I need to call someone, get really warm, increased heart-rate, adrenaline rush, stomach tightens, all that jazz. This, even though I know it's fine when I'm on the phone. Had to get an appointment for a physical exam last week, had to go through all that, and even though the conversation went waaaay bad for me (first time making an appointment with an American provider, didn't have my insurance details at hand, didn't know what they meant by "provider" because that's a ridiculous way to refer to a health practitioner) I spent about 10 minutes in the phone, absolutely fine. It was moderately embarrassing, but even if the person i was talking to was a real bastard, all it would be is a funny story to them somewhere down the line, this odd foreigner who didn't know how things work.
The go-to thing for meeting new people is finding something you have a fair level of interest in, because that way you'll have something to talk about with new people. You play music, and are part of an orchestra, I believe. Invite one or two folk out to get something to eat or something after practice, get to know them through a mutual love of music, or hatred for the way the orchestra's run
So perhaps every time you find an excuse not to do something about the lack of meaning somewhere in your life, perhaps you should also come up with a reason why that shouldn't stop you from finding it? "Don't want to walk there" "good exercise, gets the blood flowing, and endorphins, so you'll be in a better mood when you get there"
"Website is hard to navigate" "Something else to talk about, and I might be able to help someone out with it in future too"
Things like that.
* hector13 crawls back under his rock
Author
Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9785165 times)