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[Harry Baldman]

You know, I am really, really beginning to wonder what people like about university.

There have been no redeeming qualities to it, really. I'm studying a subject I like, yet I'm hating it. Can't socialise. My room's fucking tiny, I hate cooking, the assignments are just making me feel more and more stressed and anxious.

Are half the people in this world fucking emotional masochists or something?

A university is four things, primarily:

A) an increase in difficulty,
B) a fresh start in a new place,
C) a change from the people you already know,
D) a step toward true independence.

If you're the kind of person who felt unchallenged in school, didn't like their school environment, disliked a lot of their schoolmates and felt pretty useless overall, university is pretty great to address all these problems. Of course, in university it's far easier to remain alienated from your peers than even in high school - whereas in school you're invariably dragged into whatever business the class tends to plan, university is pretty cool overall with letting you fade into the background and never particularly giving a shit about who you are or what you do until you make a concerted effort to become more useful and interesting to each person individually. So in this way it can be an abject lesson in your own complete insignificance to the world if it doesn't work out as planned.

Rather amusingly, I had a brush with this in particular when I did an exchange semester - most of the attempts to engage me on campus soundly failed, and I didn't actually know the other person who went with me, which meant about four months of overall awkwardness and solitude in a country whose language I most certainly did not speak (I learned firsthand how there's nothing like a period of isolation abroad to make a true patriot of a man, and I legitimately enjoy solitude). It was very survivable, mind you, but nevertheless very isolating. It could be a similar thing with you, but in this case I advise finding a campus or off-campus thing to regularly go to, and try several places until you find one that makes you reasonably comfortable. You do not want to be isolated for longer than half a year. I can only imagine how balls that would be.

Can't comment about room size, though. I've always had personal living arrangements of 2 bedrooms for 5 people, so dorm rooms never bothered me. But I've heard of some far shittier dorms in some schools, from slowly-collapsing to bedbug-infested and totalitarian, so I've no doubt a ways to go before I've seen the nadir.

[Arx]

For a lot of people, they get into varsity straight out of highschool. It's an opportunity to study what you're actually interested in rather than what you have to, it's an opportunity to join clubs and stuff that university often has that school doesn't.

[Kot]

Kot, that's awful. So awful.
Please, hang in there. Here's hoping you can get a transplant or cure or whatever, but in the meantime just... try and do things you enjoy. Lots of them.
I think you're a cool dude. Please don't die. Not sure what else to say, except that we'd miss you.

Good luck.

* Yoink offers hugs.

I... don't have much to enjoy.
I talked today with her and... it was pretty okay until he called and they went to "make peace" and she told me to fuck off and that me dying would solve at least one of her problems. She is so goddamn... why the fuck I even care about such person.
My mother spend a night at my aunts home, I'm not sure if she will be home when I return.
The hospital has not yet called. I suppose I should be hospitalized if it's so bad but for now I carry on. My stomach vaguely hurts, I'm not sure if that's real or imaginary.

As for being cool... well, I don't have any friends. Neighboors, classmates, people I see, no actual friends. It's worrying me now because if I actually are going to die I will die completly alone. It's... why? I don't think that I could be disillusioned enough to not see some glaring problem I have, but people just seem to not care about me. Sure, I can tell jokes, they talk with me, I help them but in the end nobody likes me enough to give a shit apart from the time they need to spend with me.

[TheBiggerFish]

Kot, we give a shit.

@BlackFlyme:Call animal control, yeah...

@greatorder:*hugs*
Yeah, I know the feel with the 'no friends' thing.  And the tiny room.  :v
This dorm is smaller than my one-person-sized bedroom and holds two people.

[Catmeat]

if I actually are going to die I will die completly alone.

Yeah, oh wow.. you understand, what can any of us say?
We can only offer sympathy and words.
Talk through it, express your feelings.
People will act strange around you, its unsettling but you will find out who reacts the strongest are the people who really love you.
If it seems like hate, they are scared.
Your mothers sentiment would be very similar to something I would say.
Fuck man, these words mean nothing to you... I'm struggling.

[ChairmanPoo]

Kot, that's awful. So awful.
Please, hang in there. Here's hoping you can get a transplant or cure or whatever, but in the meantime just... try and do things you enjoy. Lots of them.
I think you're a cool dude. Please don't die. Not sure what else to say, except that we'd miss you.

Good luck.

* Yoink offers hugs.

I... don't have much to enjoy.
I talked today with her and... it was pretty okay until he called and they went to "make peace" and she told me to fuck off and that me dying would solve at least one of her problems. She is so goddamn... why the fuck I even care about such person.
My mother spend a night at my aunts home, I'm not sure if she will be home when I return.
The hospital has not yet called. I suppose I should be hospitalized if it's so bad but for now I carry on. My stomach vaguely hurts, I'm not sure if that's real or imaginary.

As for being cool... well, I don't have any friends. Neighboors, classmates, people I see, no actual friends. It's worrying me now because if I actually are going to die I will die completly alone. It's... why? I don't think that I could be disillusioned enough to not see some glaring problem I have, but people just seem to not care about me. Sure, I can tell jokes, they talk with me, I help them but in the end nobody likes me enough to give a shit apart from the time they need to spend with me.

But what was the diagnosis exactly? Acute liver failure?

[Kot]

Hepatotoxicity, I belive. It's apparently pretty bad. My father died from Cirrhosis (though, it seems his case was weird as it wasn't even long-term, it developed very quickly, though I am not an expert) so there might be some genetic relation.

[x2yzh9]

if I actually are going to die I will die completly alone.

Yeah, oh wow.. you understand, what can any of us say?
We can only offer sympathy and words.
Talk through it, express your feelings.
People will act strange around you, its unsettling but you will find out who reacts the strongest are the people who really love you.
If it seems like hate, they are scared.
Your mothers sentiment would be very similar to something I would say.
Fuck man, these words mean nothing to you... I'm struggling.

*hugpats everyone* it'll be okay you guys. Just reach out to someone and have them meet you halfway catmeat.

[Sirus]

The landlady should not own pets.

She has an elderly dog. It's in real bad shape. I know I'm an ass for saying this, but it should be put down.

It's deaf, and possibly going blind. It's practically skeletal, it's so thin. No idea why it's so thin. it has arthritis, according to the vet. It also can't walk very well anymore, just falling over after only a few steps, and is incontinent. Just pisses and shits wherever it happens to be. It's filthy from its own waste, and she won't clean it. She says she does, but I have doubts, since she rarely if ever even cleans the cat litter box. If an animal shits on the floor, she leaves it for hours, just opting to walk around instead.

She refuses to talk about the dog. Putting an animal to sleep is worse than murder. She says she'd rather just hope that she'll come home from work one day and find it dead.

A mix of sadness and rage.

Call the police. This is clear neglect and abuse of an animal.

[Sergarr]

Kot, that's awful. So awful.
Please, hang in there. Here's hoping you can get a transplant or cure or whatever, but in the meantime just... try and do things you enjoy. Lots of them.
I think you're a cool dude. Please don't die. Not sure what else to say, except that we'd miss you.

Good luck.

* Yoink offers hugs.

I... don't have much to enjoy.
I talked today with her and... it was pretty okay until he called and they went to "make peace" and she told me to fuck off and that me dying would solve at least one of her problems. She is so goddamn... why the fuck I even care about such person.
My mother spend a night at my aunts home, I'm not sure if she will be home when I return.
The hospital has not yet called. I suppose I should be hospitalized if it's so bad but for now I carry on. My stomach vaguely hurts, I'm not sure if that's real or imaginary.

I, uh, maybe you'd want to take initiative on hospitalization, just in case.

As for being cool... well, I don't have any friends. Neighboors, classmates, people I see, no actual friends. It's worrying me now because if I actually are going to die I will die completly alone. It's... why? I don't think that I could be disillusioned enough to not see some glaring problem I have, but people just seem to not care about me. Sure, I can tell jokes, they talk with me, I help them but in the end nobody likes me enough to give a shit apart from the time they need to spend with me.

Well, while you might not have any friends IRL, I think you do have them in here. This "people don't seem to care about me" thing? It's not just you.

And I do give a shit about you, your most special avatar I've seen, and also your Shadowrun homerule set from that other forum, too! So, uh, try not to die, OK?

[TheBiggerFish]

Kot, yeah, go to the hospital if you're not there.

[Silverthrone]

Oh, dear. Oh dear God. Cling on, Kot.

That woman has no place in your life. No one should say that to anyone. No one should treat anyone like that. If that is what she says, if that is what she thinks, when something like this has happened to you, she has absolutely no business being part of your life. Saying such things, at that time, are one of the most monstrous things I have ever heard of.
It does sound like an old-lady-at-the-supermarket platitude, but she does not deserve your love, nor does she deserve you. It's not easy to let go of love, it's never easy, but it's wasted on her.

I'm saying those things because they are true, but mostly because you might pull through. It's not certain you will die. And you do deserve better. A better life than that, with better people than her. Hoping, planning and above all feeling that you should have a better life might feel like a moot point at this moment, but it's not decided that you will die. You can survive. And believe me, I hope you will.

I really do hope for it, and so do everyone else here, without a doubt. That you will pull through, but also find a path to a better life, with better people. Fight on.

Visit the hospital, it'd be best not to take the risk.

[Tiruin]

You know, I am really, really beginning to wonder what people like about university.

There have been no redeeming qualities to it, really. I'm studying a subject I like, yet I'm hating it. Can't socialise. My room's fucking tiny, I hate cooking, the assignments are just making me feel more and more stressed and anxious.

Are half the people in this world fucking emotional masochists or something?

1. Dormitories != University :O Those are indirectly related to the life you'll live within College.
2. College is a place where there are few limitations on your horizons of knowledge--this also goes for the quality of people you'll be meeting. There is a lot less immaturity as compared to Highschool and below. And the assignments are more for familiarity of theoretical knowledge/applied know-how rather than a stressful undertaking.
3. College is a keypoint wherein one's work, study, and focusing habits are put to gear. If anyone feels like they're lacking or being stressed--college ALSO is designed with very useful student services [usually the Guidance & Counseling department--or known by me as "that place where you're afraid of going back in elementary but it's a whole new experience once you actually meet people in there"]
4. Independence; as noted by Harry Baldman. This is all you, and when you see things you're lacking in, there are others around you that can help you a LOT. The initiative is all yours to take, and anxiety doesn't define how other people will act anymore.

[TheBiggerFish]

I have no idea what's actually making me sad right now.

:/

Probably it being really late.

[Tiruin]

I have no idea what's actually making me sad right now.

:/

Probably it being really late.

Talk about it with a professional in your area, dude :3
At times there are occasions where we feel sad that may be merely of no cause (eg Biological feelings due to other factors than our previous behavior)--at times too, these may be attached to our previous actions that we are partly aware of but have not yet fully considered at the current time. Talk about it \o/