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[Avis-Mergulus]

Just think: What would GLaDOS do?

I am not sure that flooding your home with deadly neurotoxin is an option in this case, and if it is, I wouldn't really recommend it.

[Emma]

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[MaximumZero]

Just think: What would GLaDOS do?

As much as I hate to say this, deadly neurotoxin may not be the answer due to its traceability.

[Rose]

Spoiler: Within this spoiler lies a sad of fairly sexuality content, if you aren't comfortable with that I'd suggest not opening it (click to show/hide)

I'm not getting erections any more, not even in the morning. It's mainly because I don't want them because girls don't have penises and I want to be a girl. I'm such a broken record, aren't I? I get fixated on one thing at a time and ignore everything else that makes me hate myself.

Are you going through hormone treatment?

That's a pretty normal side effect of that.

[Tiruin]

Spoiler: Within this spoiler lies a sad of fairly sexuality content, if you aren't comfortable with that I'd suggest not opening it (click to show/hide)

I'm not getting erections any more, not even in the morning. It's mainly because I don't want them because girls don't have penises and I want to be a girl. I'm such a broken record, aren't I? I get fixated on one thing at a time and ignore everything else that makes me hate myself.

Err, with situations like these, persistence (ie Consecutive time of these events occurring) is one thing to put in mind before worrying about it merely happening as there are many factors which affect...that situation in the morning :O
Talk it over with the folks you are talking to over there. (PM!)

And no, you're not a broken record. Do not hate yourself.

[spümpkin]

Spoiler: Within this spoiler lies a sad of fairly sexuality content, if you aren't comfortable with that I'd suggest not opening it (click to show/hide)

I'm not getting erections any more, not even in the morning. It's mainly because I don't want them because girls don't have penises and I want to be a girl. I'm such a broken record, aren't I? I get fixated on one thing at a time and ignore everything else that makes me hate myself.

Are you going through hormone treatment?

That's a pretty normal side effect of that.

AFAIK, GD hasn't started it, don't even know if they're planning on it.

[Yoink]

Looks like I've done that thing again, where I waste an entire day watching SNL skits.
Now all I want to do is... watch more SNL skits, but my eyes are sore and my vision is failing from the amount of time I've spent staring at this screen over the past couple of days, as well as the fact that I barely slept last night. I should really take a nap but that's proving to be difficult as well.

Don't really have much else to do apart from stare at a computer or read books.
Or eat noodles, I guess... maybe I'll go do that to give my eyes a break.

[hops]

I fucking hate my body.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs Cinder*

What do you want to change?

@Gamedragon:*hugs*

You're not a broken record.  And yeah, I second Tiruin's advice.

[Kot]

I like realized that the my main problem is not that so much sad happens to me.
It's just the complete lack of actually happy things. I mean, right, I can laugh from time to time and feel better but never genuinely happy.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs Kot*

Join a club you're interested in.  Find some friends to hang out with.  Make some, if you don't have any.

I can't necessarily help you with any of that, but it's probably a start.

[hops]

*hugs Cinder*

What do you want to change?

I want to get rid of whatever makes people think I look average?

[LordBaal]

@Gamedragon plenty of things could cause that. Don't worry about it. I happen to have that lack of morning erections when in sufficient stress, like the trouble I had with my wife a few weeks ago. Since you are sleep it might not be the conscious part of your mind that is causing it. I don't know.

Again, have you consider going to psychological therapy or counseling or something? I would advice you to do so. A little guidance can help a lot. Perhaps you could make a more informed decision on how to proceed with these feelings you are having.

I personally know one person that went trough the sex change and after it became ultra happy and found true happiness, even married with a straight guy and all. But I also heard of people doing it and then somewhat regretting it or seeing it doesn't necessarily fill the void they had. In either case that's once choice you have.

These feelings could be related to hormonal unbalance too, I guess, or might have another cause. I guess you are gay but really don't know, since it might not necessarily be the case. This is why I advice you strongly that while you can still vent your frustration here, please seek some guidance, professional preferably.

@Cinder, no matter how you look, don't hate your body, your body is you. Or you are your body... I'm pretty sure you are a handsome dude and no one is utterly generic or average. There's bound to be something that distinguish you from everyone else. Perhaps not in the eye of everyone else but let me assure you that whenever someone put an eye on you, that person will find almost everything in you different and unique. Remember the beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we tend to be unnecessarily too rough on ourselves.

Now if there's something about your body you specifically dislike, you can always do exercise, follow diets (as long they are healthy and approved by a nutritionist) to gain/lose mass. And while surgery should always be the last resort on anything, it is a valid option too.

[Tiruin]

*hugs Cinder*

What do you want to change?

I want to get rid of whatever makes people think I look average?

At this point it isn't or at least it doesn't point towards your body alone--it's the meaning you're working with. Like the whole deal with 'average' or what you learned way back in the past that built up towards this :O So if it's something you can work with--go for improving.
Although we don't know the context there; it'd possibly help you a lot if you got someone to talk this with over there.

[Solifuge]

@Cinder, sometimes I get stressed about my looks too, or about my body and health in general. Being kinda he-she looking isn't what I'd consider a bad thing, but sometimes it bugs me when I get misgendered, among other things.

Our bodies are an inseparable part of who we are. Still, though they're what allow us to exist and live and all that crap, our bodies don't define who we are, or what we can do. We're not just bodies, but also the people inhabiting them. There's more to the self than what's on the outside, etc. etc.


@Gamedragon, when you're looking at Gender and Biological Sex, there's lots of ways to be. A Person can be born genetically Intersex and choose to pass as a Man. People can modify their bodies hormonally or surgically to fit another Sex. People can be Male and have male parts, and still be a Woman socially and in their Gender Role. People can be Female, and forgo Gender in favor of just being themself. You don't have to adhere to a binary/stereotypical Gender if it doesn't fit who you are, or who you want to be.

Sex is about reproduction and physical body types. Genders are arbitrary social tecnologies invented by early Human cultures for good reasons at the time, but reasons that are entirely unnecessary in the modern era.

All I can say is to take some time to look inward, and honestly figure out who you are and how you want to live. Ask yourself which of your traits you like to be complimented for, and what feels good emotionally. Don't rush it, but don't shy away from exploring either. You'll figure it out.