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[Harry Baldman]

That's not the issue.

Isn't that what wanting to make a difference is? The desire to be significant and relevant in some way?

[Tiruin]

Guys, instead of prolonging the issue--it is best to PM TBF rather than force an inquiry. A basic note in counseling, giving aid, or even just helping another person is to listen to them; inquiries are best done in parallel to their concerns initially, than attacking the question implied in their worries. "Forcing an inquiry" is perpendicular to 'asking them to expound on their concerns'. Questioning them rather  really won't help if the person is not in the mood or if the query isn't particularly even in their context--know his context by asking otherwise; question alongside them.

But PM him instead, please, if this goes on.

[Rose]

I think you're being pretty helpful, it's just that when people are in the sad thread they want to mope more than actually fix themselves.

Can confirm, am here to mope.

Even if I don't post much.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs Japa on general principle*

I think I'm feeling better again.

That's not the issue.

Isn't that what wanting to make a difference is? The desire to be significant and relevant in some way?

No.  It's the desire to change things.  Not to be significant.  You can be significant without changing anything at all, and you can make a difference without doing much of anything.  It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm not accomplishing that.

[Kot]

You're not thinking positively man.

There have been times when darkness overtook the world and it seemed there would be no future, and we will sink into the abyss of a new dark age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Whole nations succumbed to the grasp of evil, and it seemed there was noone to stop this because everyone cared only about their own egoistic needs and consumptionism.

Those were truly dark times.

But, in the end, it was their finest hour. People have fought for the good and many have suffered, and many have died. Hard times require great men, but hard times make them. I belive that, if it's required, we will stand up and not let the same darkness overtake us again. It doesn't matter what happens on the Novermber the 8th for the America, because people will not let the worst to happen, by word or, yes, if it's required, by force. Even if the worst case scenario happens, in the end we will come out on top. We're humans. That's what we do. It may seem that there is nothing that can be done, that you're lost, that everything is lost... and you might be right, but... sometimes... sometimes the right person in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. Who knows, maybe you will be that person? Maybe you will make the right person end up where he needs to be by accident? It's all connected, like the damn Force from Star Wars. Jedi stuff, man.

And honestly, TBF, you're the kind of person I literally hate. You seem to always stay positive and keep internethugging people and being an obnoxious little dude on internet. You're making me irrationally angry every time I see your useless help post here... but secretly, I need that little obnoxious dude that keeps posting happy shit. Who knows, maybe you're the only reason I'm still alive. There were times I was pretty sure that nobody cares about me except that fucker who sent me a PM and I am pretty sure is the only person in existence that might know how the whole seemingly unrelated sads connect and how hilariously pathetic it is.
If he bothered to remember, of course.
Please, never change.

[hector13]

That's demonstrably false.

Why is it your responsibility?

Because I'm human.

There are over 7 billion humans on Earth.

Why your responsibility?

Because I'm human.

'Tis a bullshit argument, man. Why should you be held responsible for what every single other human on the planet cannot do? You are being awfully hard on yourself.

You're trying to rationalize how you're feeling right now, so you can continue feeling the way you are and coming up with some n00b depressive arguments at least find a logical reason for feeling like shit out of nowhere.

Like you're tired, presumably after a stressful week, and need to rest.

I mean you're still in college, right? What resources do you have to bring to muster to make the entire world better? You have the likes of Zuckerberg and Gates with literally billions of dollars invested in charitable projects around the world, and the world still sucks ass. Why the fuck are you responsible for not being able to improve the life of some schmuck on a continent you can't even afford to visit?

If I want to be even more of a helpful dick, I'll point out that you being in the mopey state you are isn't going to fix the world.

Anyway, like Tiruin said, your efforts in this thread are improving the world. It may be at the 6th decimal place or whatever, but goddamnit it's more effort than most people are willing to put in. You don't get to see it, and these folk may come back in the thread later on as though you've not done anything to help, but why do you think some folk keep coming back here? Aye some like to mope, but other folk'll be coming back 'cause there's folk like you who take the time out of their own shit to provide a shoulder to cry on or whatever metaphor you want, because you're, in actuality, fuckin' useful.

So, what you're going to do is piss off and do something for yourself, that you enjoy, 'cause you fuckin' deserve it.

and if you ever put me in a fuckin' position in which I have to be this fuckin' nice and positive again, I'll figure out where you live, come visit and slap you. I don't need positivity in my life man, let me mope under my rock in fuckin' peace, man.

PPE: Kot's last paragraph. I have great distaste for your apparently endless positivity in here, but I also know it's a necessary thing. You bring light to the world, enough so that an ostensible misanthrope like me will tell you to stop being a fucking idiot whenever you speak ill of yourself

[Arx]

My less... Cheerful? Constructive? Response when I realise everything is terrible is just to accept it. Things will be things. In the mean time, enjoy what's good. Taste the wine, chase the thunder if you like. Ignore the fact that the sunshine is a sign of impending doom and bathe in it.

Give something to someone, do someone a good turn and revel in how great a person you are. Bask in your own glory.

It's not the best way to take life. But it's better than dying.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs everybody*

I'm feeling better now.

Thank you all for your support.

[Emma]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As more time passes I am becoming more and more certain that I'm not male. This isn't a bad thing in of itself buy I'm scared of that realisation. Of course that's not exactly new, I'm scared of everything, I'm a coward who's worthless and scared of their parents, of crowds of people of themselves. Cinder said it perfectly a few posts ago, I'm not here to try and improve myself, I'm too stupid and lazy to do that.

[TheBiggerFish]

@Gamedragon:You are not worthless just because you're scared.

*hugs*

[Spehss _]

oh goddammit.

*crashes again*

Sorry I said that.

[TheBiggerFish]

oh goddammit.

*crashes again*

Sorry I said that.

It's okay.

@Caroline:That officially sucks really badly.  Anything I can do to help, let me know.

[Solifuge]

Believe it or not trying to lie to people who have a history of blowing up from completely random phrases (that you have no way to predict) and have conditioned you for years to fear them is pretty hard. Telling the truth is also hard when most memories of you trying to be honest ends with you getting hit, shouted at for hours, or (in really good cases) being dismissed as a whiny brat. So I end up writing awkward half-truths while half of my brain is shouting at me to stop lying and the other is shouting at me to stop being honest, and praying that I don't get in trouble for anything I write.

I get the sense this might relate to your situation. You might find these helpful?
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- BPD Survival Guide

I didn't learn what Borderline Personality Disorder was until long after I'd already distanced myself from my parents, so I never understood that they were Borderline when I was living in their home. I was on the receiving end of those kinds of unpredictable outbursts and abuse too; it's been a long time, but I still freak out when I hear heavy footsteps or loud voices in other rooms, and still get irrationally angry when I see parents shout at or strike their kids (even a swat).

Surviving borderline parents is pretty difficult and confusing. But it's possible. That experience takes a while to unpack and detangle; empathizing and trying to understand what's going on in their heads helped me learn how to deal with them, and set up the necessary boundaries with them.

I'll keep sending you all the strength and wellness and good vibes I can.

[Rolan7]

Heh, that Hermit one sounds a lot like me.
... Sounds a lot more like my dad, particularly with the veneer of social grace.  One reason I've had trouble hating him (yet, hated being around him) is because he's so insecure...  And makes up for it with bravado.  Sometimes real enough that everyone has a good time.  Sometimes awkwardly and painfully fake.  Particularly if he receives any criticism he isn't prepared for...

Recently we've managed to be a bit less guarded with each other.  I sorta broke down again, but instead of panicking and fleeing (like Christmas) I, uh... opened up and sought hugs.  And got hugs.  And caught fish, and talked history and science and movies...  And sad personal history.

Which was pretty cool at the time but hrm dunno what I was thinking I'm just going to lock my doors and panic here alone and with my friends, good talk family, see you in a few months haha don't look at me!  I'm fine '8D

I mean...  I am fine, my friends are cool, and I'm finally sleeping again.  Oddly I'm dreading Monday less now that it's almost here...  Because again, there's a good chance we'll finally find something out (about our employment situation).

'course there's a good chance they'll delay another week or too, so there's still plenty of limitless anticipation to be had then!  heh.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs Caroline*

All I can say is good luck, and if you want my help, please do let me know.