With how complicated things are, the only real solution to everything currently would be clearing out the medicine cabinet. Everything is piling up in front of me and I can't find the energy to get to work, and since emotional exhaustion or something probably isn't an actual thing to excuse it I should probably punish myself somehow for being so lazy as to let things be this way despite things being unfixable anyways. Bad things don't just randomly happen without reason so my life is probably my fault anyway, so I had might as well keep on being useless and sit by and watch things get worse
Advice from someone who regularly finds theirself in those shoes too:
Sometimes, even just the act of living can feel insurmountable. All the stuff we haven't done, the missed opportunities, and the regrets about the past can get so tangled, it feels hard to unravel. There's times when new burdens keep heaping up on us, even after we've set the load of them down to rest for a moment, until the growing pile can seem impossible to even try to pick up and carry anymore. At times like that, sometimes we have to pick and choose what burdens we
can bear- that is to say, what problems or challenges we can tackle today- and hoist them up and keep moving forward. Take all the things that can wait, and leave them for a later time once you have more energy. Focus on the things you can do today, and the things that can't wait; things like eating, sleeping, making sure you're well taken care of, and generally making sure you're safe and healthy from day to day. Anything else beyond that that you can manage is great, but consider it like Extra Credit.
Even if it feels that way sometimes, there's no Karmic Imbalance in your situation, which punishing or hurting yourself will fix. Bringing more suffering on yourself won't fix whatever's eating you. It won't accomplish whatever you're having trouble motivating yourself to do either. Even if you feel like the worst piece of human garbage, you're not (even if just by virtue of being capable of such an act of self-awareness). You still deserve as much happiness, wellness, and other good things, the same as you'd afford to anyone else.
Whether or not you could have done things differently in the past, and found yourself in a different situation now, save that consideration for a later time. Whatever happened, you and I and everyone else are in the present right now, and all we can do are make choices today that will affect where you'll be tomorrow, and so on into the future. We did precisely what we could do in the past, and can only do whatever we can in the present, and that is always precisely enough.
Give yourself permission to rest as you need to, but please keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even if that's just little steps right now. It gets better.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9474094 times)