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[TheBiggerFish]

Typically, annulments were most often granted due to consanguinity. Not usually incest, per se, as the idea was marrying someone and then finding out through the web of noble family ties that, oh fuck, this person is the descendant of what amounts to three consecutive generations of first cousins who you yourself are also descended from.

Which can cause some problems.

"I thought I was marrying someone who wouldn't be abusive, but I got an abuser, I want a refund"?

Iunno.

"Marriage is a sacred trust before God. Are you more afraid of your husband than His wrath?"

Abusers aren't marriage.  Pretty sure that's not how the sacrament works.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Hey, you're preaching to the choir (aaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy) but that's not how the RCC sees it. It's definitely not how Opus Dei sees it.

[hector13]

Unless you're gay. Then you're a dirty heretic, destined for a fiery hole.

/punny

[TheBiggerFish]

Hey, you're preaching to the choir (aaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy) but that's not how the RCC sees it. It's definitely not how Opus Dei sees it.

Really?  I'm pretty sure that spousal abuse isn't something the Church would condone.  I can't speak for Opus Dei's position.

E: http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=575771
Seems like spousal abuse might very well be grounds for an annulment.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It varies because there isn't an overly-consistent train of behavior, but any conservative or radtrad Catholic leadership wouldn't grant annulment on those grounds. You can even see that sort in the thread you linked.

The practice of annulment itself is kind of weird and inconsistent because its Biblical basis is entirely in Jesus conceding that infidelity is valid grounds to end a marriage, and just sort of got twisted back and forth by church tradition from there.

I imagine only the more radical Catholics would ever say you're obligated to stay in contact with an actively abusive person (but that does happen), but the number who would say that's actually grounds for annulment is a lot smaller.

[Tiruin]

I'm guessing you've tried to convince your mum that no, he's not a good person and not worth the stupidity and abuse he puts you and her through?

Err, IMO, it's maladaptive behavior (As in 'interactions that may not really be healthy but 'it works to get results') which continues as a process affecting other people. Which could detail why Caroline's background may be like it is.
That said, OTHER THAN DISCUSSING the familial ties of Caroline's background--I do believe support towards her is the first priority anyone here should give other than that. Because firstly: Nobody knows her background other than her--she knows it best, and she can detail it in a way for others to know better, but that isn't her priority here since we cannot solve this for her. We can help by redirecting her to places where she can get help or help her out with what she's in control with, but discussing her familial life may not really be helpful at all. It's the pseudo-cyclic nature of behavior that comes off as abusive, it stems from maladaptive behavior, and reinforced by the lack of other ways in interaction, to be extremely blunt.

I do believe the Catholic Church has annulments.  Also known as 'this marriage never happened in the first place'.  (By 'believe' I mean 'know', by the way, but, well, sometimes turns of phrase just work their way in and etc..)

There's also the lack of divorce in countries which strictly practice that. :O ...With my country as one example.

I will be okay. Thank you for worrying, though

We're all just concerned for you here. Please do take care there, and keep in contact with your friends and other folks--to also help your parents and otherwise in the future too.

[saigo]

Unless you're gay. Then you're a dirty heretic, destined for a fiery hole.

/punny

Relevant

[Eric Blank]

I hope and pray things get better for you, Caroline.

[NRDL]

I hope and pray things get better for you, Caroline.

+1 to this, seriously. 

[TheBiggerFish]

I hope and pray things get better for you, Caroline.

+1 to this, seriously.

Indeed.

[sprinkled chariot]

Typically, annulments were most often granted due to consanguinity. Not usually incest, per se, as the idea was marrying someone and then finding out through the web of noble family ties that, oh fuck, this person is the descendant of what amounts to three consecutive generations of first cousins who you yourself are also descended from.

Which can cause some problems.

"I thought I was marrying someone who wouldn't be abusive, but I got an abuser, I want a refund"?

Iunno.

"Marriage is a sacred trust before God. Are you more afraid of your husband than His wrath?"

Abusers aren't marriage.  Pretty sure that's not how the sacrament works.

Traditional guide on householding (domostroi from orthodox church) includes passages like :
"Don't pity a youngling while beating him: if you punish him with a rod, he will not die, but become healthier."
and  instructions on how good christian husband should properly beat his wife( something on preferably using palm, stick or whip, not aiming in the head and avoiding use of metal staffs, pans and etc in the process)
And even modern orthodox church representatives sometimes advocate the corporal punishments.

I suppose, that majority of catholic church literature on ,, being good christian father of the family"  may have the same opinion about  husband using violence as educational tool.

[MaximumZero]

If I could afford to travel, I'd be more than willing to use some violence as an educational tool. For Caroline's sake.

[RedKing]

If I could afford to travel, I'd be more than willing to use some violence as an educational tool. For Caroline's sake.

+1

[TheBiggerFish]

If I could afford to travel, I'd be more than willing to use some violence as an educational tool. For Caroline's sake.

+1

I am not a violent person, but I have the same thing with no monies but much wanting to help.  :v

@sprinkled chariot:Pretty sure not.

[NullForceOmega]

If I could afford to travel, I'd be more than willing to use some violence as an educational tool. For Caroline's sake.

I also volunteer this form of assistance, sadly it's all I've got to offer other than moral support.