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[hector13]

Rest and relaxation would be useful, though I am aware you have issues with sleep which is going to be a massive contribution to anxiety and fatigue.

If you have a sleep clinic or something nearby, a visit there may be in order. Otherwise, research into sleep hygiene - if you haven't since I've brought it up a few times in the thread for various things - might help to some extent.

[Kot]

-Depression Snip-

You gotta to take care of yourself too. Even if it's hard to see the reason to do it right now, that will clear up in time. I feel like I say it a lot, but things will get better. Until then, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Dunno if it fits for you, but my Depression always hits worst when I'm feeling powerless to change problems in my life, when I feel crushed under the expectations of others, or when I've been ignoring issues in my life for a long time. When you feel better and have the energy for it, channel some of it toward figuring out if anything's been eating you. If you find something, try breaking it down into smaller pieces and underlying issues, and then take little steps toward changing it.

You have the power to change things for the better, whether that's in your life, or in the world around you. You matter too. Even if you don't always see it that way, you deserve good things. Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling right now, treat yourself right, and try to make things better for yourself when you can. You'll be okay.

I know, I tried. Everything basically can be traced back to unrequited love. I fell hard for her, it's something that I have trouble explaining rationally, it's... I thought I knew what is love but nothing compares to this fucking retarded feeling of unexplainable connection. For a while, year ago, I thought that finally life is great and stuff is coming together pretty well - it took one night for it all to go to hell. She found her "True love", thanks to that I lost literally all my friends because it was easier to choose to support them - though I pretty much understand them. Then I got ill (which, quite ironically, almost for sure started due to stress and psychological impact of this shit), due to related reasons I have shit relations with my mother, due to sheer price of medicine I have to take I have financial problems and... fuck, I tried. There is just nothing I can do.

[WillowLuman]

Horrendous congestion wot's bad enough to cause migraines, temporary deafness, and insomnia

[sprinkled chariot]

Seems, that I have failed to get job again, second time in the row 

[TD1]

Only two times? Ha. My sister applied constantly for years before she got one.
You've still got plenty of time.

[Emma]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I didn't know how deeply you could cut yourself with a pair of scissors until today. When I'm alone everything feels a little better, being around people is stressful. But when I'm alone I'm free to show how much I really hate myself. It's pretty shit, I'm not all that comfortable unless I'm by myself but when I'm by myself I'm free to hit, punch, cut, scratch and yell at myself as much as I want to.

[hector13]

Seek help, dude.

[LordBaal]

I just read a phrase that, I don't know, it raised my spirit a quite a bit. "Today suffering might be a consequence of yesterday's mistakes, but tomorrow it will be all in the past".

I think it can apply to a wide range of problems. It remembered me to the history of the magic ring "This too will pass"

[TheBiggerFish]

@Gamedragon:....
Please, please, please, get some help.

[NRDL]

Yep, doesn't matter what, we will keep saying that.  For what it's worth, us internet peoples still care. 

Please don't hurt yourself.

[LordBaal]

@Gamedragon Don't do that pal. Seek help. Life might be messy and seem meaningless at time, trust that I know that, but it is also wonderful and it's really worthy. Like everything it has it's ups and downs but you shouldn't be kicking yourself when you are down. It's hard but not impossible to pick on self up, and if you can't do it by yourself simply ask for help, you'll be surprised how much can people help when you are willing to reach out.

[Truean]

Gamedragon. Dude, slow down. Consider getting a little help for that.

The problem with not caring about yourself or your own harm is that it snowballs, becoming a self fulfilling prophesy. Things are bad; you hurt yourself. Then things are worse cause you hurt yourself and you hurt yourself more. This doesn't improve things, but only makes it worse overall. Things can improve, but not if self harm happens.

Please consider getting some help.

[Solifuge]

Yeah, GD... ditto. Not gonna say you need a therapist, even though they're fantastic resources for unraveling the kinds of situations that lead folks to do this to themselves. I will, however, say that you've Absolutely got to stop hurting yourself.

Spoiler: I say this as someone who used to hurt myself too. (click to show/hide)

My K-12 home life was gross, miserable, and physically and mentally abusive. I felt frustrated and powerless, and didn't see anything I could do to change my life or take control of the situation. Years and years of that made me feel pretty worthless to the people I cared most about (my family, in particular), and Preteen Solifuge desperately needed some reassurance that she mattered to anyone else. In addition to thinking I clearly must have deserved to be physically hurt if my life was in such a shithole (which, like Truean said, traps you in this horrible feedback loop)... I think hurting myself was also a way to get the people close to me to worry, and by extension to get them to care.

The first step toward a solution for Past Solifuge was to stop trying to squeeze blood from a stone. I started to spend more time in clubs and organizations that got me out of my bad home environment, built a new family of friendships where we mutually gave a shit about one another, found new adult role models among teachers and such, and stopped trying to get my folks to provide those things and generally be good parents to me (you can't force other folks to change).

Our lives aren't going to be exactly (maybe even remotely) the same. I'm sorry you're hurting, and maybe feel like you don't matter to the folks you care about. Anyone who's been there knows how bad that hurts. Still... whatever is lacking in your life right now, it's is something you can find. Please keep taking care of yourself, and try to find little ways to get closer to that. It gets better, friend.

Spoiler: Also, Kot... (click to show/hide)

-Depression Snip-

-Advice Snip-

-Reply Snip-

There's stuff you can do, but it's probably the sort of stuff that's initially unpleasant, and hard to motivate yourself to do. Stuff like really letting go of an unrequited romantic obsession, or changing your lifestyle and developing tools to help mitigate your health issues beyond medication, or seeking out a new circle of friends. I'm sure there's other things you can think of as well, if you put your mind to it.

You don't have to tackle all of that crap at once, but remember that life goes on. Feeling bad is important, since it helps you know what you want or are missing out on! But moving on from the pain and bad feelings, and on toward new things that are going to be even better is also really important. It's the only way to find the things you want, when you've already learned that you can't find them with the people and situations you're presently surrounded by, right?

[Rolan7]

Please get help, GD.  It might *seem* needy right now but it'll be a lot better for yourself and everyone around you.  I would have saved myself and my family a lot of pain if I hadn't been so proud and scared of help.

[Neonivek]

Damn at this point I missed another year of school due to depression >_< I don't want to lose track of my life and fall into a pit I can't climb out of...

Maybe I can still do something... Even if it means I go to school late or in the second semester... or take online classes... something.