Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[NullForceOmega]

Redemption is in your own head, that's why it's impossible to achieve.  I've done straight up horrible illegal things to people, I neither expect nor want redemption, I just want to do better.  That is all you can do.

[BlackHeartKabal]

I just want to do better.  That is all you can do.

Nobody will care that you want to do better, and they will do everything you can to prevent you from doing better for the sake of having someone more evil than them for whatever reason. And you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who can say with a straight face that doing so good isn't necessarily the right thing.

[NullForceOmega]

1 ) the world 'evil' is not a descriptor people generally use in their normal lives.
2 ) I've been dealing with this for longer than you have been alive, I have a lot more experience with this than you do.
3 ) If you let other people dictate your self worth you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

[BlackHeartKabal]

'Nobody' Well, you're bleeding talking to that nobody, mate. Assuming of course, the regret you show is because you regret the action, not the fact you got caught doing said action. It's an important distinction because the former indicates you realise how wrong you were, and the latter indicates that you didn't.

Maybe that's you. 50.1 percent of the world isn't you, though...

But in addition to that, I accept that even the worst person on earth has probably done some good in some way, at least thought they were. Hell, Hitler (in b4 Godwin's law) was just trying to fix things. He had a horrible way of doing it, broke damn near everything and caused the deaths of millions, but in his own mind he thought that he was doing the RIGHT thing. In fact, it was probably something of a blessing it was Hitler and not someone more competent.

Good or no, someone who's done bad will be seen as bad, using your above example.

And finally: Yes, you are being cynical. Maybe because of what happened to you in your personal life, but cynicism is cynicism.

If it's personally happened to me, then it is true. Cynical or not, what I said is just... truth.

3 ) If you let other people dictate your self worth you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

I know my self worth, and there is very little compared to everyone else I interact with.

3 ) If you let other people dictate your self worth you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

Especially if you only listen to the criticisms people have of you.

EDIT: I'm feeling aggressively optimistic presently. This is an odd mood.

Then stop listening to people altogether?

I wish I could be aggressively optimistic. I just get forced to change my attitude when I am because it's intolerable.

[Rolepgeek]

I just want to do better.  That is all you can do.

Nobody will care that you want to do better, and they will do everything you can to prevent you from doing better for the sake of having someone more evil than them for whatever reason. And you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who can say with a straight face that doing so good isn't necessarily the right thing.

For the record:
I care
Just about everyone I know who I actually like cares, or would if they knew you
I don't think I actually know anyone who would intentionally try to prevent you from doing what they saw as good/better
I'm not certain what that last bit means but I'm still idealistic enough that I probably count for it if it'slike with the other ones

Update: 49.9% of the world now nobody

[BlackHeartKabal]

I just want to do better.  That is all you can do.

Nobody will care that you want to do better, and they will do everything you can to prevent you from doing better for the sake of having someone more evil than them for whatever reason. And you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who can say with a straight face that doing so good isn't necessarily the right thing.

For the record:
I care
Just about everyone I know who I actually like cares, or would if they knew you
I don't think I actually know anyone who would intentionally try to prevent you from doing what they saw as good/better
I'm not certain what that last bit means but I'm still idealistic enough that I probably count for it if it'slike with the other ones

Update: 49.9% of the world now nobody

I don't understand why you have faith in me.

[NullForceOmega]

You don't have to understand goodwill, just accept it.  Sometimes people are nice for no reason other than they want to be.

[BlackHeartKabal]

You don't have to understand goodwill, just accept it.  Sometimes people are nice for no reason other than they want to be.

I just don't want to disappoint any more than I already have.

[Shook]

M8, one doesn't donate to charity with the intention of getting something for it.

:v

also fuck i'm TOO TIRED why do i keep doing this there's literally only 10 days till folk high school and by then i'll have to be used to getting up at 7:30am every morning and right now it's past 3am fffffffffffffffffffffffff

tiredness making aaaaaaaaaaall the bad thoughts surface

i both want to sleep and don't want to sleep at the same time

[Tiruin]

You don't have to understand goodwill, just accept it.  Sometimes people are nice for no reason other than they want to be.

I just don't want to disappoint any more than I already have.

Then learn from what happened and then address what you can within bounds of reason. :O Just because people were disappointed--which depends on context--doesn't mean its a downfall for you. Things happen, mistakes happen, bad things happen, but you've to work with what you've done; this doesn't mean that you have justification in making sweeping generalizations in a cynical way, because the language you use in making conclusions follows a parallel in your thoughts and ideas. Sometimes a bit of adjustment in language will get the specifics out. You're young, you may sometimes make mistakes you didn't see in foresight; growing up with the mindset of cynicality and pessimism because of seeing the surface results of what you've done and condemning yourself out of it won't help overall. Learn from what you've done in a constructive critical way. Become better--and if this includes other people in it who you think can help you by merit of what they've done, talk to them and work with them. :O

But please don't get into the belief that its up to the 'other people' (as seen in how the 'nobody' statements you've said) to give worth to what's innately in you. Seems a lot like low self-esteem that way. Personally, the best way to get criticism about yourself is constructive criticism. Rather than lop the 'general population' under an idea or concept--ideal in the word 'nobody', get to know the people you're thinking about. Oft has it been that one's thoughts are driven along with one's feelings, so when one feels bad...it looks like the world is bad, in the context of 'I felt bad because [interaction with others//significant events//events in my background that many people go through with and there's a difference I see in contrast to mine?]'. Comparison and contrast in that manner should not be the endpoint, else you'll come off with differing levels of conclusions about yourself, if it's a negative observation you see. Look for the positives, to balance that out if you've the habit of comparing; this applies to when you compare yourself in it.

I know you've a thing when it comes to taking things literally :O What people mean here are for literal measure.

also fuck i'm TOO TIRED why do i keep doing this there's literally only 10 days till folk high school and by then i'll have to be used to getting up at 7:30am every morning and right now it's past 3am fffffffffffffffffffffffff

tiredness making aaaaaaaaaaall the bad thoughts surface

i both want to sleep and don't want to sleep at the same time

Bodyclock balance? :O I've found sleeping at the designated time and waking up at the same time around 3 days before the usual schedule is needed helps adjust my sleeping patterns. :3

[ECrownofFire]

You don't have to understand goodwill, just accept it.  Sometimes people are nice for no reason other than they want to be.

I just don't want to disappoint any more than I already have.

For most people (especially here on B12), you won't disappoint as long as you're a nice person.

[Rolepgeek]

I just want to do better.  That is all you can do.

Nobody will care that you want to do better, and they will do everything you can to prevent you from doing better for the sake of having someone more evil than them for whatever reason. And you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who can say with a straight face that doing so good isn't necessarily the right thing.

For the record:
I care
Just about everyone I know who I actually like cares, or would if they knew you
I don't think I actually know anyone who would intentionally try to prevent you from doing what they saw as good/better
I'm not certain what that last bit means but I'm still idealistic enough that I probably count for it if it'slike with the other ones

Update: 49.9% of the world now nobody

I don't understand why you have faith in me.

Lemme put it this way, BHK.

My life goal is to cure death. Pun not intended. One of my favorite quotes relates to never being able to change the world if you aren't optimistic enough to be disappointed every time it fails to live up to expectations. If I were/become the blogging sort, it would be called "Painfully Optimistic".

I have faith because that is the only way to fix things. Because I refuse to believe that people might not deserve it. They do. There is no such thing as a bad person. There are only people who have made various sizes of mistakes.

Every time I'm disappointed? Every time something fucked up happens? It hurts. And I welcome that pain. I relish it. Because it means I still care. And if there's something that scares me more than death, it's not caring anymore. If people disappoint? At least they have tried. But tried is the wrong word, because trying for the sake of trying, rather than to genuinely put forth their best effort, is almost as bad as not trying at all, and far harder to avoid. But I would rather people try to make amends and disappoint, then never try in the first place, and disappoint in an altogether more depressing fashion.

Caring hurts. That's why we value it so highly. And why I refuse to give up my ability to care about the things that matter: people.

[BlackHeartKabal]

I just want to do better.  That is all you can do.

Nobody will care that you want to do better, and they will do everything you can to prevent you from doing better for the sake of having someone more evil than them for whatever reason. And you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who can say with a straight face that doing so good isn't necessarily the right thing.

For the record:
I care
Just about everyone I know who I actually like cares, or would if they knew you
I don't think I actually know anyone who would intentionally try to prevent you from doing what they saw as good/better
I'm not certain what that last bit means but I'm still idealistic enough that I probably count for it if it'slike with the other ones

Update: 49.9% of the world now nobody

I don't understand why you have faith in me.

Lemme put it this way, BHK.

My life goal is to cure death. Pun not intended. One of my favorite quotes relates to never being able to change the world if you aren't optimistic enough to be disappointed every time it fails to live up to expectations. If I were/become the blogging sort, it would be called "Painfully Optimistic".

I have faith because that is the only way to fix things. Because I refuse to believe that people might not deserve it. They do. There is no such thing as a bad person. There are only people who have made various sizes of mistakes.

Every time I'm disappointed? Every time something fucked up happens? It hurts. And I welcome that pain. I relish it. Because it means I still care. And if there's something that scares me more than death, it's not caring anymore. If people disappoint? At least they have tried. But tried is the wrong word, because trying for the sake of trying, rather than to genuinely put forth their best effort, is almost as bad as not trying at all, and far harder to avoid. But I would rather people try to make amends and disappoint, then never try in the first place, and disappoint in an altogether more depressing fashion.

Caring hurts. That's why we value it so highly. And why I refuse to give up my ability to care about the things that matter: people.

...
I really admire you for being able to be like that.

... I suppose everyone has a point...

Thank you, all of you.

[Rolepgeek]

Knight in Sour Armor.

I won't link you to tvTropes, but If you have about four hours to kill, look it up. Also look up Anti-Nihilist on there. I feel like that describes me fairly well

I've also had a damn cushy life as the white son of a middle class family with excellent parents, so that probably helps.

Edit: and thank you. I think. Glad I can help, even just with this.

[Tiruin]

I have faith because that is the only way to fix things. Because I refuse to believe that people might not deserve it. They do. There is no such thing as a bad person. There are only people who have made various sizes of mistakes.

Ohoho, this reminds me of what one of our eminent instructors (professor for 30+ years o_O) said to me once. "There are no bad people, just misguided ones." Of course in context with a ton more lines but that's what stood out. She's now in Canada, being awesome.
Reminds me a ton of how much just one person can impact those around them.