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[spümpkin]

GUESS WHO JUST SPILLED CRANBERRY JUICE ALL OVER THE CARPETED STAIRS ON THE DAY WHEN A PERSON IS COMING TO LOOK AT THE HOUSE TO BUY IT. HOOOOOORAYYYYYYYY IM AN IDIOT.

So yeah, I fucked up.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugpats*

[BlackHeartKabal]

Summer solstice. Effective illusion of extra time in the longest day of the year for me to reflect on everything I'm dissatisfied with but don't have the ability to change. A day I don't have the capability to seize for so many reasons.

I hate this day. I hate everything about it.

[TheBiggerFish]

...
*hugpats*

[Rolan7]

I gotta love that Recrimination Day was one of the second longest days.  Wonder if they planned that?
Even if things are much better now than before.  We even hung out two weeks ago, and talked briefly on the day itself.
Still a bit rough, but eh.  Not nearly so bad now.

[BlackHeartKabal]

I'm not actually sure when the day is (so much for my perceived intelligence), but I know that it's either today or tomorrow, and I absolutely dread it. Just a completely worthless day, pointless, inane significance that nobody ever shuts up about. Actually, why am I even talking about this? No, this is probably something I can pretty safely bottle up. Just forget I even lamented about anything.

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

Empathy. Being empathic. It's hard. My mother is a storm cloud daily, it seems, whether it's because my sister is visiting and there's friction there, or the house isn't a particular sort of clean (we're showing it soon) or she aches or the hot tub isn't working or I tell her about motorcycles or her coworker sucks. I feel it. I feel it when my sister is crying, overwhelmed with whatever monthly pains she hasn't reconciled with and the mess she made of her room going through old stuff and the friction she has with my mother and her acid-spat passive aggression.

And here I can't do anything about it at all. Their minds are set, my words mean nothing. It doesn't matter what I want to say, because my words don't hold weight. People will hear what they want to hear, argue against me with what they want to hear, when they ask me my opinion, if they do. Most of the time, it's just self justification given a wall to sound off of. 'These things trigger me and make me angry and they should know this,' but let us never consider being forgiving!

And of course, it's all so petty. They're both so easily risible over little things and feel justified in their anger based on the actions of the other. Somewhere inside, I think people like getting angry or having things to be angry about, so they loose hell and lead themselves to get angry again. People anticipate it, people hope for it.

 All I can do is feel, and hide, and wish I was running. I need to move out in a hurry here.

Hug.

[TheBiggerFish]

Hug.

*adds to hugpile*

[hops]

That's kinda comforting, nice.

I have a similar problem, Cinder...  I feel like people in RL social situations inevitably grow uneasy around me.  Probably because I grow uneasy around them.  I absolutely feel like a visiting space alien.
Even... especially around my family.
Professional/work situations?  Ace!
Online interactions...  Somehow I'm generally considered to be hot shit.  I really don't understand it.  I can absolutely phone in a conversation and people still cling to me for whatever reason.  *I* see the glaring mistakes, nobody else seems to notice or care.

I think you can relate to that part maybe.

Though I tend to be intentionally combative here, in a respectful way.  I'd rather support the losing side of an argument than join the winning one.  Only partially because of the attention...  Underdogs need more love than cliques.

All in all, I guess it's not so bad.  The underlying truth is that I feel good when I make people happy.  I just don't relax well in person.

It's not that I make people uneasy, it's that people have a hard time being aware of my existence to begin with.

[BlackHeartKabal]

That's kinda comforting, nice.

I have a similar problem, Cinder...  I feel like people in RL social situations inevitably grow uneasy around me.  Probably because I grow uneasy around them.  I absolutely feel like a visiting space alien.
Even... especially around my family.
Professional/work situations?  Ace!
Online interactions...  Somehow I'm generally considered to be hot shit.  I really don't understand it.  I can absolutely phone in a conversation and people still cling to me for whatever reason.  *I* see the glaring mistakes, nobody else seems to notice or care.

I think you can relate to that part maybe.

Though I tend to be intentionally combative here, in a respectful way.  I'd rather support the losing side of an argument than join the winning one.  Only partially because of the attention...  Underdogs need more love than cliques.

All in all, I guess it's not so bad.  The underlying truth is that I feel good when I make people happy.  I just don't relax well in person.

It's not that I make people uneasy, it's that people have a hard time being aware of my existence to begin with.

There are some things that people are always aware of, but have to make themselves consciously aware of. If I see some guy in a coat in a crowd, I'm going to think first "Hey, that guy has a coat", not "Hey, that guy exists". I know you exist, but my thought about you is going to depend on context, why am I going to randomly think "Oh, huh, Cinder exists."?

[Orange Wizard]

If I saw Cinder in a crowd I'd probably think, "Holy crap, it's Cinder! Hi, Cinder!"

In any case, I also fade to the back when with groups of people. If people see someone who's fairly reserved and they don't know how to approach you, they probably won't.
Way around it is to actually involve yourself in the crowd, contribute to conversations, and so on. Unless you've got loads of charisma and everyone flocks to you naturally in the first place, that's also a thing.

E: RIP, Gun Control Thread. I could shitpost only briefly, but you will be in my heart always.

[Yoink]

This is why I do not plan to drink, ever.

I think I've mentioned before why I intend to avoid the consumption of alcoholic drinks

Have fun leading a bland and unfulfilling existence missing out on the best things in life* with only the thought that you're somehow arbitrarily "better" than people who prefer to enjoy life as consolation, I guess.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Although this i will say: A bit of booze coursing in your bloodstream does make it easier to socialize, and that's pretty cool. In my case though, it doesn't outweigh the acid reflux and cranky bowels that inevitably follow, so at least i have a good reason to not drink. :v

...Well, that is certainly worthy of the Sad Thread. I hope you discover the cause of your affliction and a way to cure it.
Poor Shook.

*Barring psychedelic substances or the destruction of one's enemies, of course. Both are rather more difficult to obtain than alcohol, however, so I feel their relevance to the discussion is rather limited.   

[BlackHeartKabal]

snip

We'll find better ways to brighten up our lives other than shortening them.

[Yoink]

I'm sorry, but there is no such thing unless you live in a fictional setting(in which case I envy you).
Apart from masturbation, possibly, but that is only a very brief, er, "brightening".

[Orange Wizard]

What about that Japanese guy that spends... what, five hours a day going at it? Sounds pretty bright to me.