i cant even think what to put in these posts anymore. theres no real point to me anymore i guess. it doesnt seem to matter how hard i try, it all just gets wiped away, and then i start over.
Try what? If raw effort into a goal isn't enough, take a step back and reconsider what your goal is and what you could to differently to get around everything being apparently wiped away.
that's even my plans for after highschool; move to whatever college sounds good, go to college, and live my life day by day from there. even that doesn't sound all that interesting anymore. i guess i need to do something with myself but i dont know what.
You aren't done with highschool, so I'm naturally assuming you're not an adult. When you hit 18 and go to college, you're an adult, and you can do whatever you want to
make your life interesting. If you want to do something and don't know what to do, then try things until you find some things you like to do.
i mean. im in love with a girl that will never love me back. my bestfriend dissappeared off the face of the earth. my parents are at each others and my throats 24/7. my brother has epillepsy and is going on a week long campout starting sunday and i cant even be bothered to worry about that anymore.
1. Right, uh, if you're certain that your feelings won't be reciprocated, then find someone else. About true love and all, if you do believe in that, it isn't them, and if you don't, then there's no reason not to move on from someone who doesn't like you in that way. There are countless people out there, odds are that you're going to connect with at the very least one of them.
2. Maybe their phone broke, maybe they're grounded, maybe they're on a trip, maybe they're busy with something, maybe they're sick, there are way more mundane explanations that I can tick off.
3. If you're almost done with highschool, look back at the years and realize how much time you've been able to put up with family drama versus how much time left until you won't have to.
4. If you're going with him, then odds are he's going to be fine. If you aren't, then odds are that whoever is with him knows about his condition and will accommodate/watch him.
i cant even see a point in getting off my ass and getting something to eat or drink anymore. let alone actually doing something. i think ill just stay in be all day tomorrow. then i wont have to deal with any of the shit. but then ill get yelled at for being lazy again. and then i wont be working towards my unrealistic goal of 1500 dollars for a computer. plus a monitor and keyboard and hopefully a new mouse because my old one is dying. oh and i need a new pair of head phones.
If you don't want to do anything drastic, I don't quite think we've advanced enough that eating and drinking isn't required to live
. It's not healthy to just sit around in your bed, and if you get yelled at anyway, refer to point 3 above! If it isn't physically impossible to work towards, then your goal isn't unrealistic. When you save the money you get, it adds up extremely quickly. Work towards it, and you'll accomplish it.
im just so fucking done with all this shit. can i just be left well enough alone for one fucking day, or am i needed every time the smallest decision comes up. i just realized ive set a new goal for myself almost everyday for a week now because i know on some level the last one will never get done so i tell myself itll get done this time but im lying to myself arent i. honestly the only reason i havent done something extreme and permanent is because i couldnt live with myself (heh...) knowing what that would do to people.
1. Point three.
2. Push yourself to arise and accomplish your goals. Walk, eat, think, act, etc, and when you accomplish the first goal, that feeling of accomplishment, that inspiration you'll feel when you realize that your self deprecative expectations were false and you in fact
are capable of accomplishing what goals you create will empower you to do it again, gaining what you want through your own ability.
3. Point three, again. Also, there's literally nobody here who isn't rooting for you, who isn't willing to support you. If someone doesn't offer to be a confidant for you to vent about more specific things (which I doubt, since there are many people here willing to offer that), then I'll suggest some people myself. Look up, idolize what you have, what's positive in all of the negativity you're wading through. And if you can't, when you head to college, go out and
create more reasons for you not to harm yourself!
i guess i could take the airsoft gun thats coming in the mail monday, a backpack of food with my laptop and stuff in it, and the 350 some dollars i have and run away if i want to. i wont. i cant even work up the energy to bother getting the stuff together let alone going through with it. im going to go stare at the wall for a few more hours until im tired enough that i wont remember my nightmares.
Even though things aren't good in your current situation, you're going to have to have some grit and bear with it (which you're perfectly capable of doing), since the stability of having a home and financial support and the like are something you need. You can't rebuild or remake your life with a pack of food, an airsoft gun, a laptop, and 350 dollars. Exploit the opportunity you have at home despite the negativity, and when you can, use it completely to bring yourself to a better situation. Instead of staring at a wall to dull your memory, you could psych yourself up and do what I suggest, but I can't force you to. Take your own time on it, but remember what I've said.
I hope things start to look up for you.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9445977 times)