arblgf
So you know what part of having irritable bowels is the worst? It's not the increased flatulence sensitivity, the frequent bowel discomfort with occasional accompanying nausea, the highly variant poop texture or the... Well, i think you get it. Basically, the actual physical things aren't the worst part, since most of them are either tolerable or mitigable. The worst thing is that it also fucks with my emotions. You know how certain emotions, such as fear and worry, can go right into your gut? Well, it goes the other way round too. Pressure in the right/wrong places of my bowels make me feel anxious and negative. This, of course, opens up the path for a feedback loop when i get anxious about what's making my gut feel like that. Every time i fear that i've eaten something bad (which is almost never actually true), i basically have to make a will save in order to stay calm and avoid puking.
I've still only had food poisoning once in my entire life, and that was a few years ago by now. The memory of violently evacuating everything out of both ends still haunts me, even if it may sound comical when phrased like that. There was absolutely nothing left to barf up after the first half hour, and it kept going for what, several hours? I actually genuinely ended up crying because of how unpleasant the whole ordeal was. :I
So yeah, that kind of traumatized me. I'm terrified of puking now because the whole ordeal started out with me puking, and being terrified of puking WHILE PUKING is a wholly fucking certain way to make sure that you feel like you're going to die.
thankfully i just have evil fart genies right now