...
Cinder, you're one of the most helpful people in the Sad thread.
Seriously, stop doubting yourself.
Also, *hugs*.
I just don't feel like anyone respect my attempt to help them. They just see me as a naïve optimist who is lying to them about the world to make them feel better. They just think that everything I say is wrong because I'm just a dumb kid who hasn't gone throug as much as they did.
...I seriously don't know how to prove you wrong... And that's making me sad.
It's not right to fully believe feelings at times like these; feelings are given meaning by the thoughts that follow them, and our interactions follow the meaning we give them. That manner of drawing conclusions when they may not really match what people are actually thinking is what makes it "wrong"; I'd rather say misleading instead, because that isn't a complete overview, unless that is fully how you considered it when you posted. How much of that actually mirrors reality, and how much of that actually mirrors one's own self-doubts or things they've otherwise
overly critically heard is something to balance by asking yourself questions if that's really what you want to say, or by bouncing the ideas off other people you trust for feedback.
There's a huge jump when
feels like becomes
"this really is what's happening". All those sentences afterwards come from that '
feel like' bit there, instead of actually describing what's really going on. Get actual feedback from others, Cin
I've known since your start on B12 that you want to do good things (it was pretty solid and evident in between your text even if you didn't convey it that well
) but these bits here...
Please beware of when you're speaking from others' viewpoints, and when you speak by predicting others' viewpoints. Presuming your situation
with generalities won't get you any closer to a wholesome conclusion other than give you an idea you're going to work with. It seems like there's a lot being unsaid. Critically-minded or otherwise.
Do personal research on this and inquire with whom you can physically speak to, for insight and improvement.
You don't have to apologize! Hahahahaha. I'm not offended.
They always said that I look like Hermione, but I identified more with Snape.
And now I'm sad again because I don't know who any of these people are which reminds me of being sheltered.
Erh, 'sheltered' seems a bit off...like a definitive. It's a new experience. I myself haven't played Pokemon or most of what many people talk about .-. but it's always something to read or watch or play one day.
I mean, if you haven't noticed, most people's response to Tiruin are them telling her how wrong she is. I don't know how she deals with it.
And this is where I'm reminded that sometimes, you miss context.
I don't see others' responses to me like that, because they aren't like that as a whole. Chaotic skies' post, as an example, just tells me more info and how come my advice didn't fully apply by giving more detail--it's like a deconstruction of one person's concern into details for others to get, to discuss, and possibly to come up with a good solution.
And yep--sometimes I'm totally wrong.
That goes into my worldview and what I know of the world; sometimes what I say and what I advise gets a response that goes along the theme of 'You're wrong', and it's okay because the other person mostly always responds with added details on why {my} advice doesn't stick. It's normal--we aren't mindreaders, so we exchange information with each other.
...I also deal with these things by PMing others.
But main point here (because I'm still tired on a Saturday because EXAAAAAMFUNTIME) is that I don't stick with superlatives of perception o_o It's something learned, and it's better to not stop at erroneous conclusions if you think it really won't be something that'll work out. Personally, I branch out and observe the post as it is, rather than taking it as 'You're wrong'...because for me, that comes off as a superficial idea to follow up on :O
That's where my main point leads: These are processed or given meaning in how we think of them. It may not be a solution in itself, but it's a reliable foundation that we all begin with in facing everything we sense and feel.
Beware of how your own thinking can influence how you process what you see.
In the spirit of guidance, you can give as much as you have--that doesn't mean you're incapable of giving as much as the ones you see around you who you pretty much look up to, because that saying is primarily to what is tangible. The mind works with abstraction and thought, and these are not covered by 'as much as you have' because they can grow with experience, exposure, new concepts, and knowledge. And I guess that's how I improved now that I look back at it: I do a lot of study and talk with many people. I'll pretty much be wrong in the future if my thoughts are too rigid to accommodate new experiences, but I do hope that I won't be that stiff to exclude understanding other people no matter what generation or year I'm going to be in.
Don't stop at the thought that says 'You're Wrong', Cin. You're trying, that's what matters. You don't make your words into final conclusions, and you leave space for consideration.
But put into mind that when people are given advice when faced with a problem that is said to help them--they give thought to it. Silent thought. Then they give a response based on how they thought about it. Many ideas in history may not have been given a response that the speaker may have wanted to hear, but many of those ideas were given thorough thought that follows progress of meaning that the speaker had in mind.
Vision is deteriorating. Blurriness at a significant distance; I've been warned about this due to being born premature.
But arghh. I'm doing a lot of reading within my armspan by laptop or by books x_x and I've no idea how to compensate for that!
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9420398 times)