Tiruin and Cinder do such an amazing job helping people and cheering people up, so why should I continue if I can't help and won't match up to them?
You're younger than me. Have a lesson I didn't know when I was your age--and something I only learned in the recent years.
We are continuums of progress. It's like a building; we have a foundation of thoughts, so we work on them and depending on these ideas, our future is affected and influenced by those that we see as significant [esp. our worldly outlook]. Sometimes we're cheered up but then fall back down--it's ok to acknowledge that, but it's not ok to make that a belief, especially if it's a cyclically negative one. (ie "Cheering me up doesn't matter because {future pessimism}.")
Back in the day, I was only stuck with a vague idea other than hope. I never knew that I'd be able to even
talk to people (due to crushing social anxiety and having been bullied for ~8 years consecutively), but I didn't make doubts my reasoning. I had a TON of doubts (bloody doubts and intrusive thoughts 12-yr old or teenagers shouldn't really be exposed to because of how demeaning and negative they were), and asked the same questions you have up there. I wasn't good at cheering up anyone, I couldn't even talk to my own family about my issues in depth.
So why be me? You're you. I was going to send a PM to Cinder about being Cinder instead of a Tiruin (though I do get that Cin's referring to the attitude :v but it's the wording!). People are people--developmental constructs of a being, far greater than what is still concretely known (hence why many humanistic and social sciences aren't known as dead sciences, along with anatomy and the other things we can see are concrete).
You're you, and you're the best You, you can ever be. If you try to emulate me, you're possibly limited by how much you can see in me--instead of associating that with 'being me' (which is a common obstacle I personally see in how people see who they look up to), notice that you're looking at one's behavior, attitude, or manifestation of thinking by their actions. You're on a path of life that I'll never travel. Maybe parallel, maybe intersecting--but we all have paths we travel alone. We're all traveling along these paths, alongside everyone else. I still have no idea how I cheer up people--maybe it's the change of perspective I may possibly offer (but my wording is mostly messy everytime I'm worked or tired so I'm very grateful when I'm thanked, even if it's a simple acknowledgement, and the same goes for all those I do thank here). Why do you need to judge yourself
ordinally when there's so much more outside or to the side of one's consciousness that can be placed into thinking?
I remember one thing you said that's very important as a personal note.
Some people just don't change. Everything goes back to what it was before with them. I know people like that. And I don't know if I'm one of those people, even though I try not to be. You make points I've seen many times before, so I'll try again.
I don't think there's much more to say that's necessary to say. Night.
This is a belief, let it stay as a guide or idea instead of a conclusion. Many times we make our own conclusions of the world that shape our outlook--sometimes these become very rigid. People do actually change, even if it's merely subtle, because in every moment of our lives we think. In my not-very-good-memory-at-all, there's progressive thought, and then there's reflexive thought; the former moves from what is currently known to apply what is known in many settings, while the latter applies and processes what is known into reacting to what is being seen in nearly-the-same or similar ways. It's too...superficial to let stand that "people don't change" as a generalization. Deconstruct those ideas before they're OK enough to act as personal conclusions.
Point being: Doubting yourself because you can't 'measure up' to what you observe isn't a good mindset to develop or even base your reasoning on. What is best is to use what inspires others beneficially as something to help you--I've learned what I've learned from good folks around me, but there are tons of things that I may miss because of how dynamic and vast one's life experiences can be. There is no concrete limitation because this all starts at a personal level, subjectively different that
there is also no one 'good' basis of seeing a teacher or mentor because of how different and how many styles and methods a good teaching can be seen as.
Like a personal example here--I see Vector as someone great, even if they've a different manner of consoling, speaking, and addressing others. In-between the literal words, I don't see the need for comparison because of a sense of respect of who they are, and the capability to address who they are in terms of how they interact. Many people here are good teachers to me, even if we only quietly know each other via their posts in many different threads.
A good teacher is subjectively different--though there are objective standards which they work by--because of how vast one's personal learning patterns are.
Personally, I believe the same could be said for you, BlackHeartKabal. You don't
need to compare yourself as if a comparison makes
all you are. Maybe it's a thing that's being used a lot there--I'm uncertain, but in the current time, you've [this] amount of knowledge and certain ways you use to process that knowledge: Let it grow. You may not be able to help inasmuch as you would
like and want to, in the current time; instead of comparing yourself and giving into/
believing doubts, make it a goal instead. Optimism and pessimism both have their dangers in the extreme ends, but there's a balance of both that helps.
I'd just not want to be personally seen as a figurehead or idol or anything. Everyone is important just as much as the highest pinnacle they see in others.
There is so much more in the world, than what we can see. Remember that.
PPE*3: Oh dear .__. I'm ninja'd 3x. Hai Vec!
Related sad: I wish I had people like these here years ago. Would've saved a lot of misery, but it's more that I noticed I was also holding myself back (no thx high personal restraint and willpower
that way :v) because I was stuck with a partly rigid form of how people interact. Their stance towards me, their tone and loudness of voice, and the literalness of the words they used.
* Tiruin punches her social anxiety.
Wish I could express myself better at times, and I still have those doubts.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9763328 times)