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[Tack]

Well I've personally been burned by that. Over a long period of time I saw many of the same signs, but didn't realize I was a best-friend until I'd actually, eventually, tentatively made a move.
It went kinda messy, but then neither they or I were particularly good at that kind of thing, which made the mess exponential.

... Not sure why I said that. Not trying to make you second-guess yourself.

[Rolan7]

Dude don't touch her butt

Sorry, it's cool how mature you are about this thing though.  I hope things work out for her such that they work out for you two.

[Xantalos]

Well I've personally been burned by that. Over a long period of time I saw many of the same signs, but didn't realize I was a best-friend until I'd actually, eventually, tentatively made a move.
It went kinda messy, but then neither they or I were particularly good at that kind of thing, which made the mess exponential.

... Not sure why I said that. Not trying to make you second-guess yourself.

Dude don't touch her butt

Sorry, it's cool how mature you are about this thing though.  I hope things work out for her such that they work out for you two.

There certainly are worse ways I could be going about this.

That said, no worries I've got a few ideas on how to frame my confession so that it comes off in a better light than 'so I know you're sick of romantic complications fucking up formerly stable dynamics buuuuuuut'. I think the key is timing. The proper or improper time for saying that sort of thing will determine in large part the reaction to it, I'm fairly sure. Just have to figure out when will provide the least risk of breaking off the friendship I have with her - feelings aside she's a good friend and it'd be a shame to screw that up over something like this.

[miauw62]

I am sorry for being unclear! That is pretty entirely my fault, rereading it. What I meant to say is, you are unlikely to succeed if you are trying to talk to people for the sake of being the sort of person who talks to people. Treating the person you talk to as a tool in that quest tends to lead to approaches like trying to start up an unprompted conversation about your own interests, and giving up if they are not shared. That conversation is ultimately about you - about what you care about, and to satisfy a need you have. There's nothing morally wrong with that, but in general only people who are already your friend care about either of those things, so it's impractical.

You do better by treating the conversation as its own reward. Which you're clearly not doing, if you think being generic or filler is a relevant criticism. Which isn't meant to be insulting, I felt exactly the same until I was... oh, 7 or 8 years older than you, if your profile is to judge by. Those conversations aren't meaningful for the explicit textual content, they're meaningful for the social cues they allow people to share, including "I am willing to talk about literally anything as long as it's with you", as well as for the ability to explore a personality through things like speech patterns and how they emote.

Also, speaking of your age, if your profile is accurate, I would highly recommend you leave off on questions of how long you can keep on failing. I'm not saying that your pain isn't real or meaningful or any of that bullshit people say about teenagers in order to feel smug. It absolutely is real and meaningful, and it is absolutely shitty that you have to put up with it. What I'm saying is that your life is going to have so many changes over the next decade that there is no realistic way to predict it. You have no grounds for predicting a continued failure forever, just as I have no grounds for predicting sudden success.

i don't even begin conversations by talking about myself :x at least, i hope i'm not... there's a lot of shit i seem to be doing wrong subconciously.


i just try to talk about random slightly relevant shit, but it never actually feels meaningful. i hardly even get chances, and i try to make good conversation by asking people about themselves and shit but it doesn't really seem to work, and in the end i don't feel like im just any closer to that person :/


then again, it's not like i have any good contexts to really talk to girls in.


i have to admit that i was feeling pretty desperate when i wrote that post and im feeling a lot better now (but still sort of shitty). it's really hard to see the positive side of things when im just feelign so so so frustrated. i just can't bring up the willpower to do any of the thought exercises i've learned in therapy, or think about anything positive (and if i can, i usually minimize it).


thanks man.

[Yoink]

Visiting my father.
Can't help but feel I must be a huge disappointment to him. We get on quite well, but he's this hard-working builder/carpenter type who grew up on a farm, travelled the world and has been working, earning his way through life since he was far younger than I am now. Meanwhile I'm this cripplingly shy, neurotic weakling, lazy as hell with no motivation to accomplish anything in life.

About the only thing we have in common is an appreciation of beer (although of course I'm not manly enough to drink stouts and stick to weak-ass draught beers) and a painfully bad corny sense of humour, which I probably inherited from him along with my lack of flexibility.   

Feels pretty bad being here in the town where he lives, being introduced to people I have nothing in common with and making a half-hearted effort to get along with them for his sake. Probably blood from my mother's side of the family that's responsible for making me a batshit crazy highly strung artistic type. Don't get me wrong, I certainly prefer to be this way than to be some big, bloke-y labourer type with the sensitivity of a brick wall*, but sometimes I wish I wasn't quite so far removed.

_{*Not that my father is that, really. I'm probably exaggerating, but this is hard to put into words.}

[BFEL]

DAMN IT.
Pokémon Silver erased my savegame for some reason.
I worked all fucking day on that.
I FUCKING BEAT WHITNEY GODDAMN IT.

[Vattic]

Feeling you've let family down is no fun, you have my sympathies Yoink.

Meanwhile they are complaining as much as ever at work. The new department I am in was created in many stores as part of a drive to save money, but it's worked out to cost more than how things were before. This was predicted by staff from multiple stores in advance so some gratification is gained even if they are now talking of getting rid of staff. The stupid thing is that our store is the only one in the region to complete the set tasks, yet this isn't good enough apparently. Three more of our better managers are leaving because of related bullshit.

[Trapezohedron]

DAMN IT.
Pokémon Silver erased my savegame for some reason.
I worked all fucking day on that.
I FUCKING BEAT WHITNEY GODDAMN IT.

If that's a genuine GBC copy, the Lithium probably died. Long live your cartridge. If that's the DS copy, no idea how it can be borked (does it still run on batteries? doubt it).

[BFEL]

So that cartridge is just fucked now? And if so then that means my Gold one probably is too, and that one had EVERY pokemon of the generation, save for mew and celebi.

I was playing it on Gamecube, if that matters.

[Gunner-Chan]

It doesn't matter, the batteries for gold and silver cartridges are going to be on their last legs no matter where you look these days.

You can either replace the battery, or just resort to emulation.

[Descan]

or get pokemon zeta/omicron

i just started playing it so i dunno about quality

but it seems good

it's a fan-made windows version of pokemon, got most pokes up to black2 i think plus some x/y ones, graphics seem to be Emerald-to-Pre-Black/White level with optional 3D animated pokes

seems decent

and it's free :V

[BFEL]

It doesn't matter, the batteries for gold and silver cartridges are going to be on their last legs no matter where you look these days.

You can either replace the battery, or just resort to emulation.

Had no idea the cartridges even HAD batteries.
And I'm guessing they're probably some special battery that is now 9000 dollars because they don't make them anymore?
And where the hell would you even PUT the battery?

[Tawa]

To my knowledge, it's a little tiny proprietary battery that powers the in-game clock and whatever keeps your save file stored.

I have a bootleg Emerald that does the same thing. It has a very faulty battery--turn the game off, your save goes kaput.

[DeKaFu]

Yeah, they all need batteries to hold a save, and Pokémon GSC specifically had their batteries all go kaput years ago because the real time clock drained them more than usual.
A lot of old cartridge games in general are probably getting iffy on that front by now.

I also once bought a brand new GBA game that probably had a faulty battery, couldn't hold a save.

[O.Wilde]

My natural response to being lonely is to become more reclusive and it really fucking sucks.