Am I even human? What is human? Am I just some thing inhabiting a human, pretending to be one?
Those are the questions that came to me tonight, while being out and having fun with my relatives and some friends. Because at times, I feel there's this layer between me, and me, so to speak. Like, I feel and think things, and I feel about those things like I should be feeling and thinking them because that's what humans do. Sometimes I feel like an alien in my own body, someone who's just listening in to what a body is thinking or feeling. I'm not sure how to feel about this, but it's worrying to say the least.
Then, I left to go home because I wasn't really feeling it anymore and I didn't want to bring the mood dow. On the way back i came across a gypsy child, some ten years old, probably less, begging for money, I looked right trough her, because that's how we deal with their kind here. After her, I came upon a small dog, I gave it a compassionate look, because I felt for the little bugger, all alone in the falling rain. Funny, how I showed more feelings for a fucking dog than a human child. Then the dog started following me, it made me fucking cry. An animal trusted me and I fucking couldn't do anything for it except pet it for a bit, and it fucking broke me. Sure the booze helped a bit there, but it still happened and I'm still kinda messed up because of it.
What the fuck is wrong with me :I