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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9792315 times)

Ghills

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101715 on: February 08, 2016, 05:41:42 pm »

In a few years when your degree enables you to have a good job and a good life, you'll be glad you did it.  I know that doesn't help with your feelings right now, but focusing on the long-term got me through a lot of stuff.

If you aren't getting a degree that will enable you to have a good job and a good life, that's the problem right there.  In that case, your instincts are on target; you are in job training that is not really training you for a good job, so what you're doing doesn't matter.

see, I've been hearing that pretty much every degree I'm interested in (or think I'm interested in) is over-saturated with applicants, and the economy is so shit and the job market is so shit that even college degrees don't mean much and college graduates can more often than not be stuck working dead-end minimum wage jobs.

Furthermore I'm not even that interested in making money. I just have to get a job and make money to live. Because society works like that. Not very motivating.

1)There are always jobs so long as you are willing to think outside the box. I know a musician friend who's doing OK with singing gigs and tutoring jobs, they're also planning to go into voiceacting for ads and things like that.  Standard career paths are kind of filled up, but frankly that's always been true.  There's always room for people who are good at what they do, and there's lots of ways to manage a career outside of the standard get-hired-and-promoted paths. 

2) Forget 'interested in'.  Guidance counselors keep giving this terrible advice to 'do what you're interested in' and it drives me nuts.  People are interested in lots of things that they're terrible at, or they love something but they couldn't stand doing it all day, or nobody wants whatever they're interested in. Forget 'interested in'.  What you need to find is the overlap between 'I can tolerate this for 8 hours a day' and 'people will pay me to do this'.

No job is going to be interesting for all or even most of the day.  Don't worry about interesting.  Find out what the working conditions you can tolerate (solitary vs talking with people, travel or no travel, physical activity or desk work, fast paced or slow paced, etc) and find out how those line up with the fields you can stand dealing with all day.  This will determine if you can actually do a good job or not. Most fields have a variety of working conditions. I think pharmacy tech and research-heavy fields are the only ones that are super limited. 

Archeologists go on lots of digs, if you have a bad back that's probably a bad field, even if you love the thought of traveling to exotic places and discovering pottery shards. BUT you can probably find museum jobs that accommodate that bad back.

IT people spend lots of time doing mind-numbing tasks and/or writing code to avoid mind-numbing tasks and explaining what they do to people who literally yell that they don't want to understand it just fix this crap. If you can tolerate that, look into IT.  BUT lots of IT jobs also involve troubleshooting individual customer issues - lots of movement and dealing with people.  IT salespeople and IT lawyers are a few fields that are very valuable.

Plumbers and electricians make a lot of money and are always in demand - if you like working with your hands, don't mind smells and have good visual-spatial sense that fields makes sense to look into.  They're also pretty in demand for big building projects construction phases.

3) Don't think of money as a thing in and of itself. That kind of thinking is a trap - either people hoard it or don't care about it (ex, you). Both approaches are foolish. Think of money and grades as the ability to do what you want.

Your bank account? It's the ability to buy lunch out, or by a new car, or vacation someplace nice, or have a kid.  Your grades? They're what gets you in the door to people you want to impress professionally.  It's not about $$$$, it's about the power to stand on your own feet and fulfill your dreams.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2016, 05:48:41 pm by Ghills »
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i2amroy

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101716 on: February 08, 2016, 05:58:56 pm »

2) Forget 'interested in'.  Guidance counselors keep giving this terrible advice to 'do what you're interested in' and it drives me nuts.  People are interested in lots of things that they're terrible at, or they love something but they couldn't stand doing it all day, or nobody wants whatever they're interested in. Forget 'interested in'.  What you need to find is the overlap between 'I can tolerate this for 8 hours a day' and 'people will pay me to do this'.
The way I see it is that if there's something that:
A) You are interested in.
B) You are good at.
C) Has tolerable work conditions.
Then by all means go into it! That said I definitely agree that that shouldn't be all you limit yourself to; the most important of the three factors there is C, followed by B. You being interested in something is more of a bonus then anything else; you can always just do the fun things you are good at as hobbies rather than building your entire career around them.

(That said it is important that you actually do the things that you are good at an interested in, at least as hobbies. There have been tons of studies showing that a major factor in happiness in life is making sure that you at least do something for everything you are good at, a thing that is qualified even if that something is just you doing it as a hobby from time to time).
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itisnotlogical

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101717 on: February 08, 2016, 08:12:45 pm »

Gonna have to cancel my shrine visit this weekend because a deer jumped in front of my sister's car. Nobody's hurt, but the hood is smashed in. So the person who would be taking me instead has to fix that. I'll have to do an alternate assignment for less credit (I was gonna use the shrine visit to give a presentation in World Religions class), and I'll be stuck at home with all the misery that implies.
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highmax28

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101718 on: February 08, 2016, 08:49:58 pm »

Tends to. What happened?
Girl I had a lot of feelings for (she preyed on me and used me) and this guy she's currently with showed up in my class. She thinks I ruined her life because of rumors that were spreading that I found out about in the last minute, and he wants to beat the fuck out of me because she convinced him of that.

The entire time they were in my classroom (which neither one has any reason to be there) I was in fight or flight mode and the well of emotions made me almost violent. I was sincerely scared he was gonna deck me or the two of them were gonna jump me on my way to my car.

All this because he decided it was a good idea to visit my friends and now she's getting closer to them and because I can't even look at her without freaking out, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to cut my friends from college out of my life now...

This also means I have one friend at the college now because of this bullshit with keeping my distance from her. And I'm still the bad guy. And now she's coming into my class and making me unable to do my work because of how much fear and emotions of hurt were flowing.

I'm gonna email my teacher about letting them in again; she's a dropout and he's a third year walking into a second year lab room. I shouldn't feel threatened in there but I do
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101719 on: February 08, 2016, 11:16:56 pm »

I want to walk to a neighbouring suburb for exercise and to get cheap food from a cafe there, but my toe hurts.
Still. I could catch a bus but that would defeat the purpose. Might be a bad idea to just toughen up and walk anyway. :-\
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Shadowlord

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101720 on: February 08, 2016, 11:26:38 pm »

You don't want to walk somewhere because your toe hurts? Why does your toe hurt?

<crazy>Have you considered walking on your hands?</crazy>
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101721 on: February 08, 2016, 11:49:27 pm »

Not sure, I think it's broken or something.
I'd walk on my hands if I was about seven times as agile as I am. :P
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O.Wilde

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101722 on: February 08, 2016, 11:50:17 pm »

Not sure, I think it's broken or something.
I'd walk on my hands if I was about seven times as agile as I am. :P
If you've got any tape, tape it to the toe next to it. It helps.
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Xantalos

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101723 on: February 08, 2016, 11:54:52 pm »

Tends to. What happened?
Girl I had a lot of feelings for (she preyed on me and used me) and this guy she's currently with showed up in my class. She thinks I ruined her life because of rumors that were spreading that I found out about in the last minute, and he wants to beat the fuck out of me because she convinced him of that.

The entire time they were in my classroom (which neither one has any reason to be there) I was in fight or flight mode and the well of emotions made me almost violent. I was sincerely scared he was gonna deck me or the two of them were gonna jump me on my way to my car.

All this because he decided it was a good idea to visit my friends and now she's getting closer to them and because I can't even look at her without freaking out, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to cut my friends from college out of my life now...

This also means I have one friend at the college now because of this bullshit with keeping my distance from her. And I'm still the bad guy. And now she's coming into my class and making me unable to do my work because of how much fear and emotions of hurt were flowing.

I'm gonna email my teacher about letting them in again; she's a dropout and he's a third year walking into a second year lab room. I shouldn't feel threatened in there but I do
Oi jeez, that sucks. For sure email the teacher about it, if they're making you feel too threatened to work in a course you paid for that could likely be construed as some form of violation of something or other. There has to be a proviso against acting like a total dick somewhere, right?

Have you explained to your friends the effect she has on you? Going off my experience with anxiety issues and such, it's really hard for other people to notice sometimes because the outside reaction can vastly understate what you're feeling on the inside. I'm sure if you explained the situation to your friends they'd understand - or at the least there's a chance of their understanding, while if you just cut them out of your life, they don't see your side, they just see you cutting them off for whatever reason. Communication's the key, I think, judging from how much the lack of it tends to screw people (me included) over.
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highmax28

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101724 on: February 09, 2016, 12:25:20 am »

Gonna email my teacher tomorrow, it's late my time, and if all else fails, I'll tell him in class tomorrow and hope to god they don't show.

They know that the two of them tend to make me lose it sometimes to the point one of them gave me a book on Dahli Lamma or however his name is spelled, because he say visibly how upset I was getting. The others kind of understand but this... This was something else... I've never felt this way before and it wasn't fury, but that was coming because I was penting it up... That's why I asked if it was like that for a panic/anxiety attack...
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just shot him with a balistic arrow, i think he will get stuned from that >.>

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Jee wilikers, I think Highmax is near invulnerable, must have been dunked in the river styx like achilles was.
Just make sure he wears a boot.

highmax28

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101725 on: February 09, 2016, 12:39:05 am »

If there's an overwhelming feeling of panic or anxiety that becomes crippling (mentally, physically or whatever) then it may well be.
It was overwhelming fear that made me unable to work, unable to think and all I felt was emotion after emotion of fear, hate, anticipation... Many others. It doesn't help when you're expecting a guy to clock you in front of the girl he's trying to impress
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just shot him with a balistic arrow, i think he will get stuned from that >.>

"Guardian" and Sigfriend Of Necrothreat
Jee wilikers, I think Highmax is near invulnerable, must have been dunked in the river styx like achilles was.
Just make sure he wears a boot.

Baffler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101726 on: February 09, 2016, 12:43:18 am »

Spoiler: Rant (click to show/hide)
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Empiricist

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101727 on: February 09, 2016, 12:46:18 am »

-snip-
For that friend of yours, I recommend you basically type out an explanation to them, sort of like a speech of sorts seeing as you have trouble communicating normally. That way, if all else fails, you can just hand the transcript to them if all else fails. Don't get me wrong, it's almost definitely going to be incredibly awkward talking to them about it, with or without literally handing them a transcript, but it'll allay your fears and ensure they don't make the wrong assumptions. Because both of those are going to cause far more issues than just a few minutes of awkwardness.
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Xantalos

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101728 on: February 09, 2016, 12:47:49 am »

If there's an overwhelming feeling of panic or anxiety that becomes crippling (mentally, physically or whatever) then it may well be.
It was overwhelming fear that made me unable to work, unable to think and all I felt was emotion after emotion of fear, hate, anticipation... Many others. It doesn't help when you're expecting a guy to clock you in front of the girl he's trying to impress
I know the feeling. Not a pleasant one at all - I couldn't stay still or move my hands with very much control, my mind was going a million miles an hour yet I couldn't think at all, heart pounding for no explicable reason, face flushed, feeling like a wellspring of bright red hatefearjealousy is going to burst out of your skin.

Any similar to what you felt?

If so, this might help a little if you manage to excuse yourself in the midst of it - the tunes and the nonsensical video have a way of calming me down a bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc8bzl6dqQI

-snip-
For that friend of yours, I recommend you basically type out an explanation to them, sort of like a speech of sorts seeing as you have trouble communicating normally. That way, if all else fails, you can just hand the transcript to them if all else fails. Don't get me wrong, it's almost definitely going to be incredibly awkward talking to them about it, with or without literally handing them a transcript, but it'll allay your fears and ensure they don't make the wrong assumptions. Because both of those are going to cause far more issues than just a few minutes of awkwardness.
Oh, I've had years to contemplate exactly how to tell her. I just didn't let myself think about it too much before the last few months. I've got it down practically to the cadence of the words.

EDIT: I'm fairly sure the closest thing I have to that currently is a note I typed out on my computer in the case that I die, telling everyone I know what I really think about them. It was during one of those morbid moods where I didn't quite contemplate suicide but thought about death a lot more than usual.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2016, 12:53:40 am by Xantalos »
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Empiricist

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #101729 on: February 09, 2016, 12:58:57 am »

It might be best to tell her soon then, if you're currently worried the matter's altering your behavior. Or seeing if you can rebook that therapist of yours. Also, are you sure that keeping that note in your computer is a good idea? I mean, knowing you have it there might drag you towards the negative mindset you had at the time of typing it, not to mention the risk that someone might stumble across it.
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