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[Orange Wizard]

I dunno, Yoink's got a point. I'd probably be happy about Valentine's Day if I could get free tacos.

...

I think the one issue people usually find with such friendships is that one party develops a crush on the other, leading to awkwardness and heartache.
As long as that doesn't happen, though, you're golden.

It's funny because the number of intra-group crushes people have had among my friends is probably higher than the actual number of friends in the group

[Yoink]

What, you mean you manage to handle such matters with common sense and maturity and not destroy your friendships?
Hush you, that's absurd, we're talking about the real world here!

[Shadowlord]

No, no, confessing your feelings on valentine's day way is more romantic, and maybe she'll be more inclined to say yes than if you had waited a month later. Hell, you really only have to go up to her at work one day *before* valentine's day, and ask her if she wants to get coffee or lunch with you on valentine's day, right? Maybe bring flowers?

Or maybe she gets 20 people asking her out on that day every year so you should beat the rush by a week, who knows. Certainly not me.

Maybe I'm being old fashioned. There are always flower and heart emojis.

[Kot]

I guess I didin't made myself enough clear and you got it wrong. As for having female friends, I don't think like that. I myself proably have more contact with female friends due to the fact that majority of my male ones are actually bloody annoying but eh, what I meant is that a lot of people have this idea that apparently being friends with wiminz instantly stops you from ever having romantic relationship with them which is actually pretty goddamn bullshit since unless you're just hooking up with completly random people the second you see them (*sigh*) you kind of have to be friends first and I know a few people who have built their relationships on that.

I think the one issue people usually find with such friendships is that one party develops a crush on the other, leading to awkwardness and heartache.
As long as that doesn't happen, though, you're golden.

Also, yeah, I'm fucking regretful and angry and basically in bad mood right now. Also not fully sober so there's that.
And fuck Valentine's Day. Good thing I won't see a lot of this happy bullshit since I'm not going to step outside my room at all at this day because fuck you world.

[Orange Wizard]

What, you mean you manage to handle such matters with common sense and maturity and not destroy your friendships?
Hush you, that's absurd, we're talking about the real world here!

Pretty sure the real reason is that we're all too lazy to care

[Xantalos]

You should come visit me, I'll buy you a (free) taco or two.
(But yeah it is generally a pretty annoying holiday, I can't disagree there. I was actually meant to be born on that day, that'd be weird, but kinda cool.)

Unfortunately I can't travel from my slowly thawing wasteland to Australia right now. Gotta wait in agonizing indecision for a faint, likely imagined chance at changing my current conundrum.


Though I'd likely be able to actually interact with more people in person there than I'm able to here. Haven't been able to get a meaningful face-to-face conversation in months with someone my own age. The disconnect is really starting to get to me.

No, no, confessing your feelings on valentine's day way is more romantic, and maybe she'll be more inclined to say yes than if you had waited a month later. Hell, you really only have to go up to her at work one day *before* valentine's day, and ask her if she wants to get coffee or lunch with you on valentine's day, right? Maybe bring flowers?

Or maybe she gets 20 people asking her out on that day every year so you should beat the rush by a week, who knows. Certainly not me.

Maybe I'm being old fashioned. There are always flower and heart emojis.

Your advice is certainly sound and if I were in any other scenario than the one I'm in I would most certainly follow it. I know I could set up something appropriate even with this short amount of prep time before the holiday. Unfortunately, my circumstance makes that a no-go. I do appreciate the advice, though.

[Yoink]

Also, yeah, I'm fucking regretful and angry and basically in bad mood right now. Also not fully sober so there's that.
And fuck Valentine's Day. Good thing I won't see a lot of this happy bullshit since I'm not going to step outside my room at all at this day because fuck you world.

Cheers, man!

* Yoink reaches through the internets to clink his beer with whatever Kot is drinking*.

Hope you feel better soon.

Unfortunately I can't travel from my slowly thawing wasteland to Australia right now. Gotta wait in agonizing indecision for a faint, likely imagined chance at changing my current conundrum.


Though I'd likely be able to actually interact with more people in person there than I'm able to here. Haven't been able to get a meaningful face-to-face conversation in months with someone my own age. The disconnect is really starting to get to me.

I actually know what you mean, it's often much easier to interact with and be easygoing around folks far removed from your usual life.
Add to that the fact that, if you're on a brief holiday/vacation/trip/whatever you aren't likely to have to interact with them again if they for some reason decide to dislike you, and you can strike most of your usual inhibitions off the list! And then alcohol does the rest.


Edit: _{*Unless you aren't drinking and are otherwise intoxicated, I guess. I'd still offer a fistbump at least.}

[ArKFallen]

Xantalos' whole issue IIRC is that his crush reciprocating would be a confusing clusterfuck as she is in a stable long-term relationship.
Its more to help get it out of his craw to more easily enjoy life.

[Xantalos]

Xantalos' whole issue IIRC is that his crush reciprocating would be a confusing clusterfuck as she is in a stable long-term relationship.
Its more to help get it out of his craw to more easily enjoy life.

This is all true. I'm rather horrible with these types of realizations, so I only last week realized that I've been letting most other aspects of my life go to rot for a year in my futile attempt to will away my obsession. Now I realize that I need to actually move past this, but in the interest of common decency I'm not going to drop such a metaphorical bomb on a romantically significant day or near it for fear of conveying the wrong impression.

[Shadowlord]

Ohhhh.

[Kot]

Xantalos' whole issue IIRC is that his crush reciprocating would be a confusing clusterfuck as she is in a stable long-term relationship.
Its more to help get it out of his craw to more easily enjoy life.

Crushes in relationships are horrible. Crushes in happy relationships during Valentines day are nightmares, pretty damn literally.

[Xantalos]

Ohhhh.

Yep. Most unfortunate part is that for all my self-admonishment that any reciprocation from her would be an impossibility, I know for a fact that it could happen, given that she had a bout of emotional turmoil lasting around a month when she developed minor feelings for a guy who's basically in the exact same position I'm in, only he's known her for less than half the time I have. I could likely force a reciprocation if I wanted, but the consequences would be even more of an emotional clusterfuck than it is right now (admittedly I'm the only one experiencing it because I've kept it contained but it still counts), and that's most defenitely not a desirable outcome.

[TheBiggerFish]

 
Good luck, Xan.

[Xantalos]

Eh, my course is still set - I'm going to move past this eventually, it's just going to be longer than I initially anticipated, which is irritating because I'm going to be hurting and kept in this frame of mind for that extra length of time.

[miauw62]

It would be nice if somebody was attracted to me for once. I doubt that'll ever happen, though. I'm just an unattractive, asocial nerd. I don't even have any female friends,and I'm so bad at being a normal, functioning human being that I can't even see any chances to make something as simple as that happen.

You'll get there bro, don't worry. I don't gauge your value as a human by how many friends you've amassed on Facebook or whatever, or whether you have a romantic partner or not. I've formed my opinion of you based on what you've been writing on this forum and/or in the IRC, and have come to the conclusion that you're a pretty cool guy, if a little bit heavy on the worries (this coming from me, haha good one Shook). Basically, i've had access to your personality, and without that, there's VERY LITTLE to go by.

It's pretty much the exact same thing in meatspace (except that you have a physical presence out there); if you don't talk to people, they won't ever get to know the cool guy behind the socially awkward curtains. In case of meeting up with a whole new bunch of people, everyone is a bit more willing to call out to the curtains and see if something peeps out, but in general, you have to step out on your own, and fuck me that shit can be scary. You may have to clench your buttcheeks hard enough to fracture spacetime, but as a fellow unattractive asocial nerd (honestly you're not really unattractive from what i can tell), i can confirm that IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT.

i tried and it just doesn't work. everybody has people they'd rather be talking to than me, and intruding on conversations between people you don't know is just basically impossible. i always, always end up sitting alone in a corner. im in a class of all girls for two hours each week and yet im sitting next to the only other dude, whom i hate, and not interacting with anybody because theyd rather talk amongst themselves than with me. i just can't do anything. i can't make any sort of meaningful relationship

It's ... okay this post is basically just a big bundle of rambling. I'll try to make my point - focusing too much of your energies on getting involved with romantical bullshit doesn't lead to results. Try instead to find ... fulfillment? Basically pursue whatever interests you have and try not to worry too much about romantical bullshit or your lack thereof because it tends to happen when you're happy from engaging in pursuits that you enjoy. Stressing about it's counterproductive but hard to not do.

I thought this was a good idea, all of my interests are massive sausage fests. I really don't want to be that awkward guy hitting on the only girl in the group, either