Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Rolan7]

-

[Yoink]

That's what the Drunk thread is for, right?

@Bohandas: Well, comfort eating usually just makes me feel worse, so I didn't mention that.
And half the forum seems to dislike booze and go into a frenzy of disapproval at the mention of it, so that's a touchy subject.
Besides, I don't think it's a good solution for depression, unless you're using it as an aid whilst going out and meeting people. And that's hard work.

[hops]

> dislike booze

* Cinder looks at drunk fortress

I'm pretty sure it's less disliking booze and more that drunk posting is stupid most of the times unless you're making an LP

[Rolan7]

Yeah, and I just need to sober or tipsy post, or keep it in the drunk thread, rather than going crazy in every thread I've PTW...
Alcohol's useful in *moderation*.  In my defense, I keep experimenting with mixed drinks or different beers.  Still, I need know when to close the forums and dance to music videos / replay old DOS games until I fall asleep.

[Yoink]

My occasional drunk posts are a helluva lot less embarrassing than my sleep-deprived posts.
Heck, you probably can't even tell them apart from the normal ones.

Edit: Dang, pageroll. I feel like I should say something else now. Uh. I have no beer? That's a sad.
Oh, and my washing machine doesn't do as good a job of washing stuff as it used to, and I didn't end up washing some of the stuff I'd planned on washing. These are more mild sads, though.

[Kot]

I tried to respond to all of you, but after a while I decided that it makes no sense. I need to write out the whole history of my fucking life, it seems. It's still very short version, but here it is...

Due to various reasons I spent most of my early childhood pretty alone, I lived quite far away from... villages or cities. Basically, only house (mind you, it had all the modern house things, and I had (shitty, but hey) internet connection since I remember, which is something when we're talking about Poland) in like two kilometers around, and with like five to nearest village. While this doesn't seem as long distance, for a five year old it is, especially if you had to go through a forest, and later on, after I went to school and whatnot, I didin't really felt the need to go anywhere. I was fine with myself for company, walking around the forest and riding a bike or spending time playing computer games. I wasn't complete outcast, mind you, I had friends and sometimes even visited them for various reasons and had my own shovelful of school loves and other related bullshit, but I always were a bit... outside. Then I changed schools, in meantime my father (which, I later realized, I never truly knew since he spent most of his time in work) died, other assorted sad stuff went on and I had to go through the worst stage of education, which caused me to become anxious, depressed and basically miserable. It was hard, but in the end I went with "yeah, sure, the world is against me but it wouldn't be fair otherwise", and I decided to give it another chance... and that's where I got back on my legs, fleshed out who I am, got rid of psychological problems I had, met my friends and... her. It was the greatest time I had, I found my place in life, and while I had no idea or real plans for future and the life had a purpose.
Well, then, first of all rejection. Then friends rejected me, I guess they felt it was either her or me. It's hard to really explain and at this point I don't even really see the point, but in the end it seems that people I trusted either lied to me and about me, or stopped trusting me due to the previous ones. As for my family, half is dead, the other half doesn't give a shit. My mother is having her own trouble right now, I've got a metric fuckton of things I was supposed to do and I just can't find strenght to do them. People are dissapointed because I am not as... energetic and reliable as before. People I would want to help me, the ones that I trusted, won't, other people just want something from me and can't fuck off. Everything bad that ever has happened to me is basically coming back and hurts like goddamn hell... after writing it down it doesn't exactly seem like much, a lot of people have it worse than me but... yeah, fuck that. No matter how hard I'm telling myself it's not about that, how hard I'm trying to find other reasons, it's still all about her proably. I could deal with anything, losing all the friends, which I proably am responsible for since I vented on them, everything, just not... losing her. I know it's bloody childlish and sounds retarded and whatnot, but I still love her and it's the only one thing I can't get over with, even if I don't want it to be this way. Seriously, I know how it sounds, I know all the reasonable talk, I gave it to people more than few times and always considered that it's working, I tried my best to get over it, I tried to reasonably talk with her, I thought I did for a while but in the end it just doesn't matter. I'm trapped.

[Spehss _]

snop

I think I can relate to those feels. Always kinda felt alone or "outside". Had a few friends, romantic feelings that went nowhere, hard times in life, depression and misery. Feeling trapped in life.

I could try to offer advice or go into more detail but I don't really know what to advise or if going into detail would even be welcome. I'll at least say that it seems to me that the root of your bad feels at the moment is "her" or your dwelling on past romance "problems" if you want to call it that. And based on my own experience, it's not worth offing yourself over that. Not worth even dwelling and/or ruminating on it much. I used to have crushes and romantic feelings and shit towards various girls, and none of it ever went anywhere, and the feelings would always cause negative emotions in me like anxiety or sadness or lowered self-worth. Occasionally felt so low that I considered killing myself over being so hopelessly "in love" with them and not doing anything about it, the "romantic" feelings were so strong.

I don't feel anything towards any of those girls anymore after years of life without interacting with them. Emotions are ethereal "in the moment" feelings and given enough time they will fade, if not go away completely. I may be a statistical outlier since I am pretty introverted and have very little need for social interaction (I'm currently feeling pretty ok about having literally no real life friends to interact with, for example) so my own experience may be harder to apply to your own issues.

Anyway, Kot, I think you're cool. You got lots of cool cat avatars, at least.

(removed)

[Bohandas]

I was recently made sad by reading something which reminded me of the sleazy new corporate trend of trying to pass off software as a "service" and charge a subscription for it.

[Orange Wizard]

You need to reimprint on something else.

10/10, quality advice

[Tack]

But of course. If you can no longer find flesh-humans attractive then clearly all of your problems are fixed.

I wish I had some actual advice, but feelings are mysterious and usually shit.

[TempAcc]

Eh, I believe every normalish person goes through moments such as that, Kot. Hell I went through that myself, with no specific goal, everything supposedly piling against me, nothing to look foward to, love interest becoming distant and then rejection, etc. It seems like hell at first. Dealing that kind of situation is never easy and there's no go to solution for this, as each person develops different ways of dealing with it, and this is a very important step in forming your personality, which you may think is mostly complete but, hoh boy, do I have news for you.

It doesn't seem like you're still actualy developing your mind/personality because you've already developed most of your tastes, likes/dislikes etc, but you've just begun to learn how to actualy deal with complex emotions, meaning its quite easy to see the world as a hellish plane of existence in which everything gets thrown at your face and you're just told to "deal with it" (because thats actualy what you need to do, there's no way around that). Its important that you learn that no, you're not at a dead end, nor are you trapped, you're just attached to an idea of what should have happened, and you have imprinted your the feeling of deception and rejection on a single point, so you can more easily deal with it, IE uncorresponded love/affection. Its quite natural to lose friends at this time of life, because there's quite a big chance they're also dealing with a similar situation and may have abandoned you in favor of ~her~ because they're searching for the same thing as you, and you just happened to be either an obstacle or something they found disposable in favor of furthering their goal (in their hormone addled confused as all hell minds which are probably not dissimilar to yours). This is mostly theorycrafting at this point, since I dont know your friends :v

Is this just a complex way to tell you to "deal with it"? Probably, but its an attempt of increasing your awareness over the fact that things are not as horrible as they may seem, and that the way out depends mostly on you then anything else. You need to learn to let go of some things, make emotional sacrifices, so you can actualy be ready when something worth of your attention comes up, and it inevitably will, you can be sure of that (unless you die horribly in the next days, the world suddenly explodes, you become Tim Curry or something, you never know :v).

[Bauglir]

I was recently made sad by reading something which reminded me of the sleazy new corporate trend of trying to pass off software as a "service" and charge a subscription for it.

as an ideologue, you probably reject the cases where that makes sense - for example, cases where the software relies on resources the corporation must maintain, such as a centralized server

now, sure, it's kinda shitty to build in such a reliance where none need be for the sake of getting that sweet, sweet subscription money, and the amounts can be quibbled over, but you're painting with too broad a brush here

[Avis-Mergulus]

I was recently made sad by reading something which reminded me of the sleazy new corporate trend of trying to pass off software as a "service" and charge a subscription for it.

as an ideologue, you probably reject the cases where that makes sense - for example, cases where the software relies on resources the corporation must maintain, such as a centralized server

now, sure, it's kinda shitty to build in such a reliance where none need be for the sake of getting that sweet, sweet subscription money, and the amounts can be quibbled over, but you're painting with too broad a brush here

They're only painting with too broad a brush if your assumption about them rejecting the cases where that makes sense is true, which it might not be.

[Shadowlord]

*reading kot's reply with a radio on*
*notices that "Love Hurts" is playing*

 

Frigging rng.

[Bauglir]

They're only painting with too broad a brush if your assumption about them rejecting the cases where that makes sense is true, which it might not be.

not really - the literal text of his post meets my description of painting too broadly, as it does not allow for the case i brought up as a counterexample. the post begins with a description of my expectation of his response to the rest of the post. perhaps it was overly mean, though.