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[Neonivek]

Meh I have a self-punishing personality. Anything I do to myself to make me physically feel bad puts weight off of being emotionally bad.

It is why I ate until I got sick.

Today is the empty feeling day.

[BlackHeartKabal]

I can't rely on anxiety to push me to be productive anymore, because a day ago I was deep in thought and realized that no matter what I did, i'd still be yelled at and all nervous and such, which means I have no reason to do anything due to the energy from such extreme stress, which i've been relying on. I'm constantly tired, due to illness and lack of rest ( in between inability to go to sleep, sleep apnea, and sleep paralysis, I'm lucky to get 5 hours ). I have no idea what to do and no idea how to vent this.

[miauw62]

So who is in my class? There's only three (?) guys in the class, including me. All the rest are girls. One guy I don't know and the other I dislike, but both are more social than me. I don't really see this not ending with me sitting awkwardly in a corner, as always. I just can't handle talking in a group to people I don't know well when they know eachother well. I never end up actually participating >.>

It's mixed. On one hand it's great because it really builds up your confidence, because, well, GIRLS ARE PEOPLE TOO, but on the other hand be prepared to be friendzoned hard. Most of the time it won't bother you, but if you fall in love with a girl from your class, then run the hell away because I did exactly the same thing and it's the worst part of my life to this moment, which means something.

i've already done it, but that was two years ago. and the girl that rejected me was also in my class, but that was only on thursdays, as the new class i am in. my reaction to it was really... powerful, i guess. i think it was because of getting such a vague answer after stressing out about this for a week. it being so noncommittal wasn't really that bad in hindsight, though.
also i really don't/don't really want to get another crush for a while, but it's not like it's something i can really control.

and being in a class with almost only girls is wayyyyy out of my comfort zone. which i guess is good, in a way. but not really having a group i can just sort of comfortably fall back to is pretty scary, especially when all the other people i can talk to are girls. it's not like i don't know some of them, but i'm still nervous :X

[Rolan7]

I know that feeling Neo ):
It's so much easier to say no to people when I have an excuse like feeling ill.
It's easier to justify playing a bunch of vidya instead of working on projects, too.
At least I figured out I was doing it to myself, eventually...

[IronTomato]

My UK lodgings wont have wifi

WTF?  That's practically a requirement these days...

I don't see how wi-fi is an essential requirement. Internet access, yes, but not wi-fi. Wi-fi just enables internet access without wires. Good for convenience but you could just as well live without it.

Ah, whoops.  Forgot about cable.
If there's no Internet at all though...  That's just wrong.

I've lived without house-internet for a couple years now. It's a minor irritation. I whine about it on here a lot because people insist on all PC games being download-only, but I don't see why everyone acts like it's a requirement for survival.

[IronTomato]

Phone posted the same thing twice

[Bauglir]

Gotta drop linear algebra.

[Orange Wizard]

I've lived without house-internet for a couple years now. It's a minor irritation. I whine about it on here a lot because people insist on all PC games being download-only, but I don't see why everyone acts like it's a requirement for survival.

Possibly because you don't spend all your time on it

[Yoink]

Made an ass of myself in speech class, doing an impromptu speech, on the topic i wrote. It was a terrible decision, my words were terrible, and I cursed during class and probably offended someone horribly.

Did you at least say said curse in a loud voice? As long as you said it in a loud voice you're good.


Edit: Oops, typo.

[Spehss _]

Looked at grades for last semester. Got 3 Bs and a C. I expected as much for calculus and I'm just glad I didn't fail it but I thought I did better than Bs on all my other classes.

GPA is 2.6. I'm a failure. It's not a 3 or higher, so it's shit. I'm shit.

[Jopax]

Oh hey you have this thing for a class that is required to pass it and it needs a USB to install some stuff?
Cool, you just borrow one from your mother since she doesn't need it atm. Then, when you go to load up stuff on it, the evening before you need it, it turns out it's fucked and nobody bothered to tell you earlier.

Fun

[Spehss _]

Aw shit I got the top of a new page for the default post-per-page setting. Meta-sad.

[Shook]

Oh hey you have this thing for a class that is required to pass it and it needs a USB to install some stuff?
Cool, you just borrow one from your mother since she doesn't need it atm. Then, when you go to load up stuff on it, the evening before you need it, it turns out it's fucked and nobody bothered to tell you earlier.

Fun

Ah yes, faulty electronics that you don't know are faulty before it's likely too late (but COULD have known if people TOLD YOU ABOUT IT). I get flashbacks to the printers at high school; it was basically a dice roll to see if you got any pages out. :v

also apparently my brain has decided that i am to feel like a huge fraud right now and that i'm not deserving of the praise that i (sometimes) get

It's not like i've intentionally fraud'ed anything, it's just... I sometimes wonder if people are just being nice to me out of politeness, because my opinion of myself honestly isn't very high at all (though obviously i also know my own vices more than anyone else). It doesn't make itself very noticable when i'm in a good mood, but right now, being tired and out of social juice, the background thoughts rear their ugly heads. Eh. I should go to bed instead of dwelling on this.

[Yoink]

Oh man, I received an utterly dreadful gift, unasked for, unsuited and unexpected.
I would really rather the person who sent it to me saved their money instead (moreso than I would usually, I don't need people to spend their dollars buying me gifts in the first place), but now I probably have to pretend to like it lest I upset them.
I mean really, said person could have paid the same amount of shipping and sent me a book of mine that I've been wanting to have in my new home for ages and thus made me very happy without buying anything new.

What was this awful item, that upset you so?

I didn't respond to this when it was posted, in order to give people time to come up with amusing suggestions. Oh well.

The gift in question is a book of cartoons. Really bad ones, that have for some reason been expensively published.
It's like the author/artist lacked even the skill required to create those stupid political cartoons newspapers tend to print, so he dropped the political part and just tried to fill the void with childish, inane "lol random" humour. Which isn't actually funny. I feel almost ashamed that this money-grubbing hack has been paid whatever ridiculous price the book sold for on my behalf. It's not worth the paper it was printed on.

Worst of all, I am apparently supposed to really like and appreciate this gift. Like, I get the feeling the person who gave it to me thought it was gonna go down well, that it was right up my alley and somehow the perfect gift for me. I'm going to make them very sad if I don't like it, and they happen to be my mother. I can either choose the guilt of telling her the gift she chose for me is lamer than a one-legged dog, or the pain of compromising my integrity by swallowing my pride and pretending to like it.

Or I could just continue as I have been, evading questions about how I like it. >.>
The book is currently sitting on my floor, staring up at me. It's awful, I didn't need this kind of stress. Gifts are a pain.

[Jopax]

And now I've stayed up till 3 am when I have a pretty long 12 hour day tommorrow. Starting at 8 :V