So I've had a shitty year. It had some good moments, but for the most part it's been mired in depression and at certain points suicidally so. But I've gotten trough it, it started to look brighter and better towards the end, got some neat job offers that finally somewhat validated my artistic skills on a marketable level (tho I'm yet to live up to the offers, but I think the hardest part was getting hired). Gotten a bit more outgoing and whatnot, and despite still being prone to sinking and feeling like shit, I've gotten somewhat better at handling that shit, or atleast pushing it aside and working trough it.
Heck I've lost my last grandparent a couple of weeks ago and I didn't completely fall apart for that, only getting mildly paralyzed after a few days by doubts, fears and general shittyness.
Tonight takes the cake tho, as far as shitty nights go, because this one was a perfect fucking bait and switch it seems. Because I was out with a friend tonight, and there was this girl she knows you see. She came over, we started chatting, I was a bit of a dick like I usually am, BUT! (and it's a big one), she likes drawing and art in general. So we sketched while chatting, it was super fun and I haven't done that in half a year. Then she went away, but we later got to the same bar, started talking again. As it turns out, she also loves music, the obscure and weird kind to boot, which is like, atleast a doubleBUT! in my book.
So, to tl;dr it so far, meet a girl, realise she's really awesome in all the ways that so few people I meet are, to the point of only one person surpassing that so far (and it ended horribly six months ago, so do the math for the horrible year part). Naturally, I can't believe how stupidly lucky I have to be for something like that to happen to me, but of course, there has to be a moon sized asterisk floating near behind it all that I just don't notice until it's too late. Namely, that she casually mentiones that she broke up with her boyfriend ( a cool guy which I've known for a number of years) tonight, which is why she's been drinking quite a bit.
We talked after that and all but I can't help but feel hesitant as fuck about proceeding with this thing in any way right now. Because it's so much like the last time that it's fucking wierding me out, it's happening in the same time period too.
......
Well, that turned out a lot longer than expected, that's what I get for putting off posting shit that's bothering me for three weeks, hell, this isn't even half of it I think, I just can't be bothered dredging that shit back up again :I
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9753569 times)