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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9755016 times)

quinnr

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100395 on: January 01, 2016, 06:25:38 pm »

Instead of something generic and possibly ignorable like "hey", maybe ask a sort of innocuous question like "how was new year's?".

I'd back this, not just for internet conversations, but conversations in general. Asking open-ended questions that can't be answered with a straight "yes" or "no" is usually a very easy way to keep any conversation moving forward, even if it's a highly awkward situation kind of one.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100396 on: January 01, 2016, 06:26:34 pm »

Fuck, you just described pretty much all my conversations.
I thought that was normal?!
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Elephant Parade

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100398 on: January 01, 2016, 07:10:47 pm »

Finally switched to 50PPP. It's convenient, but long-running threads suddenly have a less outrageous number of pages.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100399 on: January 01, 2016, 07:12:10 pm »

I honestly prefer 25 ppp over 50 ppp.  It's just a bit too much.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100400 on: January 01, 2016, 07:45:13 pm »

I too prefer 25 ppp but I switched to 50 ppp and now I can't be arsed changing it.
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miauw62

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100401 on: January 01, 2016, 07:45:43 pm »

Note: i am not ok right now. im somewhat calm again but im not ok

A wise man once said nothing.
Yeah, no, Miauw, you try, do stuff, meet her in real, be a fucking creep or whatever they want you to do, because you still have chance.
In meantime, I'll keep trying to not give a shit about her.
I'm really starting to doubt if I have a chance again. I waited an entire day and she was online several times, but only looked at it a day later, probably just to clear the notification. Like, what am I even supposed to do now?

And man, I just sent her hey to start a conversation, but it's not like she's interested and it's really fucking hard for me to carry a conversation, so why the fuck should I even bother if all I get is frustration.
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Kot

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100402 on: January 01, 2016, 08:23:56 pm »

I'm really starting to doubt if I have a chance again. I waited an entire day and she was online several times, but only looked at it a day later, probably just to clear the notification. Like, what am I even supposed to do now?
Theoretically - nothing. There is not much you could really do, it's not like you can force people to respond in non-creepy way.
Practically Emotionally (is this even a word) - I don't exactly know what is your present relation with her, but you could like, ask her if everything is okay or something because that could be understood as that you're just caring as a friend - if she doesn't respond then, holy shit, she proably doesn't have conscience because she clearly sees what you're trying but still chooses to not respond (if she didin't, well, I see no reason why she wouldn't answer except that she could... I don't know, be unable to do so for some random real life reason).

And man, I just sent her hey to start a conversation, but it's not like she's interested and it's really fucking hard for me to carry a conversation, so why the fuck should I even bother if all I get is frustration.
Theoretically - you shouldn't.
Practically Emotionally - she proably got you and now you're crushing hard. It might not be love, but in case it is - game over man, game over. Nothing you can really do, except trying you hardest to not give a damn, which, after a while, you'll get good at, but you're proably never really getting rid of her in your mind.

Shameless barely-covered self-insert - At least she's not with someone (well, not that I know but if you haven't checked then shame on you) because that's what gets you. It's not even jealousy, because you don't really care about that guy, it's... something else. Something that makes you punch damn walls every time you see them together and makes you have trouble keeping upright when you see her or smell her perfumes and you know that she's not looking good or using them for you.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100403 on: January 01, 2016, 08:31:35 pm »

...Kot, uh...How are you doing...?
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100404 on: January 01, 2016, 08:35:32 pm »

so, miauw, here's the important thing to realize

chances are, you matter a lot less to her than she does to you, unless she also has a crush on you (in which case it's possible she's overthinking her own behavior in an effort to avoid coming off as needy)

and that's okay, because your hopes and dreams don't rely on her having the same feelings about you, they rely on her being willing to give you a chance - which means you have an opportunity to make an impression that gives rise to those feelings even if they don't spontaneously occur

but, one way or the other, here is what you have to do - make your life about something other than her

there is literally no downside, because having your own interests will make you more attractive, because you can share them with her instead of only picking up things she likes, and because you will be less fixated on her, but they will also help you cope if she turns out to be not interested

but you should probably say something now, because if she hasn't made a move toward you by this point she probably isn't going to, and so your alternatives are mostly "let us both molder in anxiety and awkwardness wondering if we both feel the same way until one of us cracks" or "i alone will molder in anxiety and awkwardness until it gets creepy because i've been hiding this for so long it demonstrates i'm not really willing to trust her", neither of which is particularly nice to either of you

i recommend copying this exact message and sending it along facebook - "hey, i was wondering - do you want to get dinner sometime?"

then go play video games or something and/or whatever

and if she says no then you still win because you get to stop worrying

I got nothing for Kot.
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Xantalos

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100405 on: January 01, 2016, 08:39:43 pm »

Quote
Shameless barely-covered self-insert - At least she's not with someone (well, not that I know but if you haven't checked then shame on you) because that's what gets you. It's not even jealousy, because you don't really care about that guy, it's... something else. Something that makes you punch damn walls every time you see them together and makes you have trouble keeping upright when you see her or smell her perfumes and you know that she's not looking good or using them for you.
No, that's jealousy alright - I've felt it's bite too many times to not recognize its description - just not directed at whoever the guy is, but rather her/you. Sort of, as you said above, 'why isn't she putting that effort in for me' type deal.

My sympathies there, it is a tough thing to move on from.

Can't really give you much advice because I'm in a nearly identical boat, but my sympathies.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2016, 11:02:42 pm by Xantalos »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100406 on: January 01, 2016, 08:41:28 pm »

... Xan, how in the... Did you end up with word-for-word the same thing Kot said?


E:Oh.  This makes more sense now.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2016, 11:05:26 pm by TheBiggerFish »
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Xantalos

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100407 on: January 01, 2016, 08:43:38 pm »

Nearly, yeah. It's easier sometimes to crib off of other people's words rather than make up your own to make the same point.
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Kot

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #100408 on: January 01, 2016, 09:01:37 pm »

Comparing to before - not bad. Trying my darnest to hate her as much as she hates me, for whatever reason, but that apparently doesn't work and proably leads only to auto-destruction, yet still I guess that is better than anything else I am capable of trying. I'm more worried about monday and subsequent days, because, well, you can avoid going out of the house only for so long and I will proably start seeing her again.
In all my selfishness I can hope that she will finally break up with him, because, well, sunshine all the time makes a desert, but I don't really hope for anything else than her getting her shit together, noticing that she literally stopped talking with all her friends and maybe, just maybe, make peace with me. Somehow. If that's still possible. And it might give me just enough time to make peace with myself.
Actually, I'm angry at myself beause as much as I want to tell myself it's not only me (yeah, Xantalos, you're right even if I don't want you to be), but goddamnit. I'm a fucking coward that I even told her what I feel, I could have just... keept away and everyone would be happier. I could just... stop caring like everyone is telling me to. I could just... I don't fucking know, get over with it? After all, I had so much time to make her fall in love with me. I thought I could either wait until she gives me a signal that she might feel something or live with it if she doesn't... but in the end I missed the signal, if it ever happened, and can't get over it.
But the worst thing of it all is that I STILL FUCKING LOVE HER, IT'S
UGH
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quinnr

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