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[IcyTea31]

If you don't know what you want of your hair and your stylist won't help, there are various magazines with pictures of hairstyles in them, of all degrees of masculinity/femininity. If you walk to your stylist with such a picture, they could probably replicate it. For me, those magazines aren't very useful, but you could probably get some ideas if nothing else from them.

[TheBiggerFish]

... It is Christmas Eve in the Northern Hemisphere.
I am wearing a polo shirt.

[Descan]

Christmas on my dad's side of the family is canceled because my grandpa is in the hospital for an irregular heartbeat.

[Rolan7]

So two days ago I ate some potato/wheat gruel with vinegar wing sauce in a very slightly subconscious attempt to get ill and get out of Christmas stuff.  It was... frustratingly tasty, and didn't make me sick at all.

Now the big event is happening in a few hours and I've got serious stomach cramps out of nowhere.  I've eaten exactly one thing today, a value burger, but I feel stuffed and nauseous.  I think I may be nervous!!

I get frustrated when people ask me what I want.  What I want is to go to sleep (and not compulsively wake up at dawn after only ~4 hours).  Then go back to my creative projects and my work routine.  But all I can think about is what I *don't* want.  I *don't* want to go to this.  But more than that, I don't want to make the people involved sadder than I already have.  Even if their expectations are unreasonable.

I could drive home *right now* and everyone would forgive me... eventually...  Not that I'd be doing anything wrong, and if I was brave I would have politely excused myself weeks ago.

[Shadowlord]

Why didn't you eat at chipotle? 

[TheBiggerFish]

...That's not really that funny.

[GiglameshDespair]

And no, I'm not nuking this post because it might offend someone. Go fuck yourself, you oversensitive dipshit. I'm pissed off at everything and you can't tell me how I ought to act.

You sure showed that imaginary complainer!

[Baffler]

And no, I'm not nuking this post because it might offend someone. Go fuck yourself, you oversensitive dipshit. I'm pissed off at everything and you can't tell me how I ought to act.

You sure showed that imaginary complainer!

Yeah, I wasn't the least bit irritated by this post until this came along.

[Orange Wizard]

you can't tell me how I ought to act

Too bad. I'm going to express my opinion and there's nothing you can do about it.

Suffice to say that you (1) probably shouldn't get so worked up about this stuff, and (2) if you find your appearance to be decent then most people will probably also find it decent; there is no one way of looking good.

[Rolan7]

Why didn't you eat at chipotle? 

I appreciate the effort, and I look forward to eating at my local non-chain not-Chipotle as soon as I get home (:

I did once eat 5 beefy 5-layer burritos and about half an hour later it had exactly the intended effect.  And then some.  But vinegar+mild spice+wheat+potato just... settled my stomach more than disturbed it.  And really didn't taste bad.

Better yet, for a nice hour I thought I'd negotiated a plan for tonight where everything would be much more bearable.  Which then got overruled because someone who's *never* on time to anything would like to arrive at place Y an hour early all of a sudden.  So I'm going to be trapped a lot later at place X.  Well, "trapped"...  This definitely ends with me freaking out and leaving.

[hops]

And no, I'm not nuking this post because it might offend someone. Go fuck yourself, you oversensitive dipshit. I'm pissed off at everything and you can't tell me how I ought to act.

You sure showed that imaginary complainer!

The last time I posted on this thread Gunner-chan yelled at me. So really.

[TheBiggerFish]

Gunner-Chan's on... Indefinite hiatus.

[GiglameshDespair]

And no, I'm not nuking this post because it might offend someone. Go fuck yourself, you oversensitive dipshit. I'm pissed off at everything and you can't tell me how I ought to act.

You sure showed that imaginary complainer!

The last time I posted on this thread Gunner-chan yelled at me. So really.

Eh, she probably had a reason. Besides, she's been gone a long while now, so your little spiel is still in vain.

The truth is you do seem somewhat over-sensitive yourself towards your appearance.

Have I mentioned how much I dislike how I look? Of course, of course, I'm "attractive" and "above average" and "lucky" and all that nonsense. It's frustrating that when I ask people about it they tell me that I look fine. Sure, they are sincere, and they do think I look fine, but it's all psychological. They would see me as attractive when they stop to analyze me but subconsciously they'll know that I am not that attractive.

Instead of you being a mind reader, have you considered that they may be genuine, and you're projecting your insecurity onto them?

Or perhaps be less focused on whether or not people find you attractive? It's... not actually all that important, and as mentioned by others previously, obsession on your appearance isn't a very attractive personality trait, either.

[KingofstarrySkies]

I pissed off one of my only friends because I got mad about something and yelled at them. To be fair, I said I was in a bad mood. Fuck. Uugh.

[Xantalos]

I'm understanding now why depression rates tend to skyrocket around this time of year. All the constant subliminal and explicit messages about enjoying time with family and such amplifies and exacerbates the loneliness that people with a lack of that feel. And it doesn't abate for more than a month. No wonder.

Of course I'm being hypocritical as a sincere-sounding politician when I say I feel that way, I've plenty of family and none of them are sick, dead, or dying, and I've spent plenty of time with all of them. I just can't help wanting what I don't have.

Fukken love and affiliated emotions. No reason why I should be despondent when I've got company other people would kill for. But I can't do anything about it but be guilty ... at myself.

...
Please let this emotional turmoil be worth it in the end. I know it's most likely not going to be, but I can hope.