Have I mentioned how much I dislike how I look? Of course, of course, I'm "attractive" and "above average" and "lucky" and all that nonsense. It's frustrating that when I ask people about it they tell me that I look fine. Sure, they are sincere, and they do think I look fine, but it's all psychological. They would see me as attractive when they stop to analyze me but subconsciously they'll know that I am not that attractive. But because they aren't interested in this sort of things they don't actually grasp what is wrong with my appearance so all they can manage is a noncommittal "you look fine".
It's especially irritating that despite me studying aesthetics, the finer points of improving my appearance eludes me. Sure, getting in shape and having my eyebrows done are straightforward, but then there's the issue with my hair and face and makeups. I can keep my hair healthy and have it silkier than a fucking worm's ass, but because I don't have a good hairstyle all of that is pointless, and when I go to get a haircut they won't advise me. I mean, if I knew what the fuck I wanted with my hair, then I wouldn't have gone to a goddamn hairstylist won't I? And the makeups tutorials are either made by white girls or people who have no idea what the fuck they're doing, while the androgyny makeup tutorials that don't suck are as accessible as the Voynich Manuscript.
tl;dr I wish the ways to look good wasn't so goddamn obtuse when you aren't a celebrity with the natural looks already. Why isn't there a school for this sort of things. Like, an actual school instead of health & beauty institutions ran by middle-aged women who, while they don't look so bad, are mediocre at best.
And no, I'm not nuking this post because it might offend someone.