Hello self-anxiety {Hi social anxiety. Hi fear of judgement~. Yo unproductivity, sup!}
Hello another vacation with little done. .-.
* Tiruin brushes away anxiety and looks at the time. 8:06pm, 22nd of December. Much time to get something done...
* Tiruin gives Trapezohedron and the rest a big hug. ♥
Supports will always help.
But don't give all your attentional and conscious focus into demeaning yourself--or moreso, into the thoughts that demean yourself.
Remember what represents the qualities you judge yourself by: Sometimes we judge ourselves by what we usually hear by those around us [esp. those in authority, or in a profession we look up at, or the commonly heard thing all around]. Balance it with discernment--you being threatened and demeaned does not constitute the behavior of someone who can represent your actual merit. Do not follow the labels that slow your growth, or make you get the mindset of a 'lesser' ideal. When threatened in your context (since he's your bro), there's always a better way of response than physical. Match it with a suggestion on what can be a better response. It's not going to their level of demeaning others--and that's not a level that you should get to [because it brings everyone and yourself down once both parties go there].
Don't off yourself. That denies you
any chance of being a better person.
Problem is, my social group IS my family.
I can relate to that. I can also say that, one day, you will be able to either reconcile with them or distance yourself from them, as you prefer. [...]
Err, it's a Filipino thing, but it's
"very different" when you say 'distance yourself' ._.
We rarely have D&D groups here...and many many things.
I'd suggest Trapezohedron for going for aid that his college(?) may provide or such (since he mentioned a thesis), because that will be of great help [ie School counselors and such] but mmph
Just don't give up. Do not die, too. (Because I'll be losing one more friend if you do, amongst many other things to mention. >_>)
Kaya mo yan, kabayan...