Got my heart broken on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, and I've been working on trying to get over her. Doesn't help Thursday I worked out with the Brentwood guys for the first time in three months and I hurt myself.
Every day since Wednesday morning I've been waking up feeling emotionally hurt and every day since Friday morning, I've been woken up by physical pain in one form or another.
The worst part about the emotional pain is not even watching Star Wars (which was fantastic) with my closest friend in high school (who's still the same as ever and I still love this guy and I haven't seen him in years) was enough to quell the pain of my broken heart. I was estatic and then I watched the nightmare before Christmas and then Sally was going off saying things I was feeling not too long ago and WHAM! Back into the hurt.
I want to get over her and move on, but it fucking hurts, and it doesn't help that I keep seeing her on Facebook because of her sharing my posts all the time, and plus, three or four people I know just got into a relationship, so the lovey posts are rampant.
It sucks because almost everything reminds me of her, and I really liked her, but she ended up telling me to not like her anymore and that I'm wasting my time on her. She also won't tell me how she thinks of me because it will give me false hope, and for the same reason she regrets the things we did. She tells me when she thinks that when she's ready to date, she won't want a relationship, and even if she was wanting to date, or be in a relationship, she told me it wouldn't necessarily be with me. She went on to say things like she doesn't want to hurt me, but already, a lot of the things she said already hurt me immensely...
Then on Friday, after not talking to her since Wednesday, she messages me on Facebook trying to act like nothing is fucking wrong. I told her I don't want to talk to her right now, and I told her she hurt me and I'm trying to get over her like she told me to. Last time I told her I didn't want to talk to her for a bit, she fucking cut herself, and now I'm scared that she is...
I fucking hate the situation... I fell wayyyyy too hard for her, and now I'm paying for it... My group leader said to look at why things went the way they did, and I don't even know where to begin... My head isn't even clear because she keeps popping up in it, and then I just want to break down and cry from that...
I don't even know what to do anymore... All I know is I'm defiantly going to step down from Facebook for a while, and hopefully cutting myself off from seeing her and those relationship posts will help me somewhat...