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[Rolan7]

What makes me sad though, is why it seems a prevalence to see 'friends' as something limited, then compare it with romantic or passionate relations. Whaa? >_<

Seriously!
I mean, I want to have a romantic relationship again someday...  But I'd really rather have another good friendship.  Like, no contest.

So when people discuss the "friendzone" I just think...  Yeah it's a real thing, but...  I have trouble seeing it as a problem.
I guess it's easy for me to say that, though, since I was never very strongly attracted to people.  Even when I was 20 instead of nearly 30...
Or I was, but I was constantly scared of "turning" gay haha.  Silly young me.

Jeez, no wonder things are so weird between me and this guy I'm... sorta dating?  I keep trying to build a friendship with him, but he's not what I look for in a friend, but I really enjoy talking to him and I kinda feel warm when we talk late and open up about stuff...
What is this strange irrational emotion, does not compute
I like how he looks too but it's so much more than that

To keep this sad-thread appropriate, I've said some shitty weird things to him.  Sometimes drunk, mostly just freaking out and confused.  But he... still likes me?  A lot?  It's really difficult to not just push him away harder.
(and whenever I apologize he's like "don't worry about it" aaaaaagh I don't deserve happiness)

[Xantalos]

I can sympathize with the not-dating thing, since I'm gonna be in that crowd for at least the next few years to ... depending on how long it takes for this whole falling in love thing to wear off, perhaps the rest of this lifespan.
Or a shorter time if circumstances conspire in a certain direction, but I don't foresee that happening.

[Insanegame27]

I was friendzoned ~6 months ago coming home from an excursion. Or rather, I asked her on the way home, got an answer three weeks later

[AlleeCat]

I would express my views on the term "friendzone," but starting conversations like those tend to incite flame wars.

I will say, however, that being socially awkward and not being able to date are two completely different things. I've been dating since shortly after I turned 18. I'm about to turn 22 this coming year. I'm also probably the second most socially awkward person I know, and I'm still pretty much in a poly relationship with two people. You don't need to go to parties to meet people. Find fun activities that interest you that you can also do with strangers (roleplaying is a great example of this) and bond with people over them. Or don't be afraid to get into a long distance relationship.

It might just be easy for me because I get crushes on pretty much half of my friends, but just being socially awkward isn't really an excuse in my opinion.

[Bauglir]

Oh, I'm super attracted to lots of people. Definitely not asexual, either. Not to put too fine a point on it, Palmela Handerson presents an effective solution when the situation I'm in with regard to the latter creates too much tension. >______>

I dunno, maybe I'm fundamentally weird, but at this point I'm basically at peace with the lifestyle I've got. I get all these emotional urges, and I savor them and enjoy the sensation of longing for a person I happen to feel attracted to, but at some point I stopped feeling like there was something missing from my life. There's an infinity of experiences I'll never have, but that's okay because the ones I will make life worthwhile. That includes the yearning and all that. Occasionally I feel sad for it, but in general I'm happy that it shows I have the capacity to be sad. If that makes any sense at all.

I dunno where I'm going with this. I guess the most useful direction would be, you don't necessarily have to be asexual or anything like that in order to live a satisfying life without romance.

[Eric Blank]

Mum got the directions wrong describing my location to dad, as usual. Damnit mom wake up

[Orange Wizard]

Mum

Damnit

mom

[Akura]

i got all you suckers beat

27 and counting

although in my experience it actually stops being a problem once you get so used to it being the status quo

* Sirus does the 27-and-counting secret handshake

Exactly one month and one day before I hit 28. The only "date" I've been on was watching movies in the girl's basement until 11:30 at night. She(and for whatever it's worth, her mother) was disappointed I had to leave then.
A couple weeks later, she tried to bring harassment charges against me. Which was almost successful since college policy is "men are asshole rapists, every one", and I have no legal recourse to it. Now I cannot make any connection to anyone else, since I'm afraid they'll pull off the same crap with more successful results.

[hops]

Is it wrong that I kinda want to date nearly every humans on Earth whom it won't be creepy for me to date?

[Akura]

...No? I think that's just you being horny. Which is normal.


I think I'm starting to break away from that whole "afraid of the opposite sex" thing. Too bad there isn't anyone around me that's available. Turns out that coworker I thought was cute already has a boyfriend.

[hops]

...No? I think that's just you being horny. Which is normal.


I think I'm starting to break away from that whole "afraid of the opposite sex" thing. Too bad there isn't anyone around me that's available. Turns out that coworker I thought was cute already has a boyfriend.

It's not actually horniness. I just want to cuddle everyone and have them pet my head and tell me that I'm an adorable kitty cat.

[Trapezohedron]

...No? I think that's just you being horny. Which is normal.


I think I'm starting to break away from that whole "afraid of the opposite sex" thing. Too bad there isn't anyone around me that's available. Turns out that coworker I thought was cute already has a boyfriend.

It's not actually horniness. I just want to cuddle everyone and have them pet my head and tell me that I'm an adorable kitty cat.

You're an adorable tem.

[apiks]

Usually people don't actively search for relationships. It's kind of like this, actually. If you feed the other parts of your life, they all improve the relationship aspect. If you improve your health, it does great things for your social life. If you diversify your hobbies it makes you a more interesting person. Also good for your social life. If you focus on education or work more seriously, it also helps.

Really anything that helps a person grow as one and not be a bland character is good for your social persona. Actively seeking people isn't what one should do, rather a side effect.

Example: You like tabletop games. You want to play tabletop games with real people. You search for clubs like that in your general area. If there is one, you go check it out. You then proceed to go a few more times (become a regular), and boom you know people because you played games with them.

Now you might say to me, but Apiks, what if there aren't any of the things I like in my area. Well that definitely sucks and in most cases isn't good at all. What one does is that they either create it themselves, find something different or just procrastinate at home because, let's be honest, you don't like going out of your home. (also known as comfort zone)

Since the first one we'll assume isn't viable and the last one is the thing we're trying to avoid, the best next thing to do is to go to events, really. You see a convention you can be interested in a few cities away? Go there then and enjoy, even if it's just looking. Most of the time they have even more stuff always going on than the theme. Extra points if you participate. This is the single most useful thing I use Facebook for.

Example: Anime conventions feature not only anime but cosplay, gaming, japanese culture and some things that have nothing to do with anime.


If you happen to be a person who's good off financially, then that can help you immensely in regards to participating in things, confidence and being able to afford to experiment. It sucks, I know.

[hops]

Yeah pretty much I found my boyfriend because I was bored and wanted to play Terraria so I bugged Kevak to bug him and then things became a thing.

...No? I think that's just you being horny. Which is normal.


I think I'm starting to break away from that whole "afraid of the opposite sex" thing. Too bad there isn't anyone around me that's available. Turns out that coworker I thought was cute already has a boyfriend.

It's not actually horniness. I just want to cuddle everyone and have them pet my head and tell me that I'm an adorable kitty cat.

You're an adorable tem.

[CINDER INTENSIFIES]

[miauw62]

i feel like all the things im interested in are massive sausagefests tbh :x

living in a shitty smallish town doesn't help i guess.