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[Tiruin]

Holistic assessment? A thought nudged me that at times...there may be a limit to what people assess -- as in, "only what's been present [for the most recent and longest length of time]", that they may miss many other aspects towards how the other person is like.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Exams tomorrow and Tuesday. This is a sad because I lack time in the first and second week of December for anything else, but also a happy note because hooray academics! x_x

It...didn't come off to me as if it's a seperation thing though? Just...going through recalibration of perception. Not the endpoint?
Still *hugs*.

[Orange Wizard]

D:

[Owlga]

I Kinda don't even know if I should stick around. Maybe if I moved out she'd be happier and I'd stop being another reminder.

[Tawa]

[Calidovi]

Know you're a person with needs and wants, and stick around if you think it'll help your own struggle through this tumultuous phase. Just because man was made to help others, doesn't mean he should do that by hurting himself.

stay strong

[Jopax]

Dude no. Like, I don't know the whole story or anything, but you seem to be one of the rare positive things in her life. Even if things don't work out between you, do try and be there for her, even if you can't help directly, having someone to lean on in one way or another can make all the difference.

@miauw, yeah, unless he just openly up and kissed her or something, or she introduced him as her boyfriend you can't be sure. And as stated earlier, the onyl real way you can be sure is by asking either her or someone who's bound to know. So instead of fucking yourself over by theorycrafting with incomplete data, go and complete your data before making anymore decisions on the matter.

@Tiruin, sorry about the uncle thing, and sorry about being late about it :V Also good luck with the exams.

As for myself, well, had a fun evening with friends, but, as expected, the shittyness returns the moment I'm alone with my thoughts. Really feel like I'm at wits end here with no clear path or solution, and the only viable option is asking someone for help. Yet, the last time I actually opened up and let someone in I ended up hurt and led to this situation, so I'm not sure if risking that again is an actual option. Doesn't help that she was the only one it actually felt natural to talk to about these doubts, fears and generally fucked up shit, with everyone else it's freaking terrifying.

Also thought I saw her today, heading for the bus station to take the same bus I was supposed to. Thankfully that didn't turn out to be true, but the thought of having to share the same bus literally shut me down and brought me to the breaking point from a relatively stable and ok state of mind. This shit should not be happening, I shouldn't let myself be this fucking weak, yet, I have no idea how to exactly do it. Or I do but it requires things that I'm not willing or prepared to do it seems :I

[Owlga]

It's just really hard.

I never feel like I'm making a positive impact in her life. I can never make people who cause her problems realize and fix things up in time, I even somewhat feel responsible for what happened between her and shad0wdump since I'd always get so angry at him when he slipped up that he eventually decided just to not listen to me anymore.

She likes to say I help a lot but I just feel like I've been accidentally ruining things for her as long as I've known her. And now I find her depressed over yet another friends actions, and again it's one I've annoyed to the point they just never want to hear from me.

I'm the worst thing that ever happened to her.

[Helgoland]

I'm the worst thing that ever happened to her.

Y'know, if a close friend of mine said that about their SO/ex/whatever, I'd tell them to take off their glasses. Then I'd slap them in the face.

That's literally the most wrong statement I've seen all week. Whatever reasoning makes you think that, it's false.

[penguinofhonor]

There's no way that's true, Owlga. I hope you feel better.

[Emma]

I agree with Helgoland. And from what I can gather from both yours and her posts you're one of the best things that has happened to her, not, in any way, the worst.

[Owlga]

True or not, it certainly feels like it. She's been in and out of major depression since this may and I've barely been able to help her.

[Helgoland]

That's fairly typical for major depression though, innit? At least in my experience.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's impossible to know when a depressive wall will reach its end before getting there. The feeling that no progress is being made is in large part what isolates depressed people, even the depressed person doesn't know if they're going to break through tomorrow or next month.

As such, to be effective support I'd advise trying to cultivate a resolve independent of perceived progress, as it cannot be easily perceived to begin with. This is generally counter-intuitive to how humans think about accomplishing things, and is thus difficult.

[Owlga]

It's especially difficult when the depressed person in question is convinced someone can help her over the wall nearly immediately. If she were to find the right sort of person.

[Sirus]

I'm no expert on persons, but I'm pretty sure that's Hollywood bullshit.