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[Yoink]

I was going to post some generic Sad about not getting paid 'til the 26th, but that is crazy.
Did you know him?

[Cthulhu]

I'm a fuckin furro

That doesn't really make me sad.

Code: [Select]

furrow
ˈfʌrəʊ/Submit
noun
1.
a long, narrow trench made in the ground by a plough, especially for planting seeds or irrigation.

Furry.

I don't care not really sad but I'm drunk.  And I now there's an 9verlqp between  certain site with an f in the name and this one.  Sneaks.  I know you :3. But you'll never guess whow I am even though we've talked before

I'm drunk.  My grandma is almost dead.  She's on too much morphine to be coherent but she understands what we say.  I was her favorite and she was mine.  She's a third parent. 

I said I love her and she knew who was talking.  She said she loves me too.

I told her my secret. Not the furry one.  That I don't believe in the god she worships. She knows what I mean.  I'm using aufo correct is why you cab read this.  im drunk.  We have an understanding and I. Happy.   No one could ask for more than what she had.  And chanc e s are when I read this tomorrow and reflgret telling you 8m a shark dog on the Internet she'll be gone. And 2ha5ev3r there is after death, even 8f it's nothing, it's better.

I'm happy. She is too

[Eric Blank]

I'm sorry to hear that, man. I miss my grandparents and great grandma. It hurts to lose someone, I know. You'll make it through. You can at least have her in memory, and any advice she's given you.

And there's nothing wrong with liking the fuzzy butts, so long as theyre the smart ones. I like the fuzzy butts too. Bit of a stretch of a goal to obtain a real fuzzy butt for yourself, but hey.

[ChairmanPoo]

Incidentally my grandfather´s dying too. Never knew him all that well though. Its still a jolt nonetheless

[TempAcc]

I'm really sorry to hear about your furryness, cthulhu. >:v

Oh, and about your grandma too.
My grandma is pretty much on the same situation.

[TD1]

You're lucky she understands you. My granny died not even knowing my name or face - and that had been the case for about a year before her death. She even forget my mum, her daughter.

She somehow remembered the dog's name through all of it. Not sure how.

Dementia sucks.

[Tack]

Playing W3, Hearts of stone. World's most amicable 'bad guy'.
Makes me feel bad, opposing him, really.

[Cthulhu]

She has a whole bunch of things, COPD, diabetes, heart failure, obstructed and calcified arteries, diverticulitis (which can be deadly when you're on blood thinners cause of the obstructed arteries), and who knows what else. 

But weirdly the thing that got her she was born with.  We found out a couple years ago she has chiari malformation, her cerebellum impinges on the brain stem and cuts off fluid flow.  She's slowly lost control of her hands, especially on one side, and the other day she was starting to convulse.  Chiari convulsions would probably have killed her, they're hard enough to break bones at the end, so now she's doped the fuck out.   She can't work her mouth very well and she's dizzy, but lucid enough when she's awake.

I'm a little sad about that, but I had opportunities not a lot of people get, and so did she.  She'll go in her bedroom she's lived in since before I was born and her whole family's here.  Life's pretty good

I'm mainly sad because I was drunk last night and said things I would rather not have said.

[ChairmanPoo]

I assume that surgery was not considered because of the comorbidities? (It's not my intention to meddle, so apologies if the question bothers you)

[Spehss _]

I'm mainly sad because I was drunk last night and said things I would rather not have said.

Could be worse, you could've been drunk last night and done things you would rather not have done.

[Sirus]

Big damn mudslide.

Figures. California is under drought conditions, and now we get too much rain in one area >_<

[Cthulhu]

I assume that surgery was not considered because of the comorbidities? (It's not my intention to meddle, so apologies if the question bothers you)

By the time it was discovered surgery wasn't an option anymore and she's been too frail for surgery in general for a while.  If she'd gone to the hospital any time in the past couple months they would've put her on a ventilator for her COPD until she can breathe again, which is never.

[Worldmaster27]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

it feels like there's this huge gaping hole in between my words and my mouth that eats up every single sentence i could use to explain what's going on to my friends, to ask for help and idk but communication is just impossible and it feels like its tearing me up like there's a wall or something and i can feel it but i have no idea how to explain it

i guess it doesnt really matter though, they only keep up a facade of liking me just because they dont want me to kill myself or whatever, they only talk to me and interact with me because i do, i keep seeking them out and talking to them and they just respond, they never talk to me on their own or like anything idk

why did i think i could call them my best friend like im really stupid, thinking anyone could care if im not being worrisome, that's the only time people seek out my company or whatever, so i dont do anything more stupid than just existing

i dont want to do this anymore, this week has felt so shitty and it isnt going to get much better, only harder, and i dont know what to do about it

i know im stupid and overreacting and it isnt actually like that and id feekl it if id stopped being a whiney bitch about everything but whatever i cant bring myself to really care about anything, so yeah this is what i feel and i suck

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You feel sad but you're not being a whiny bitch and you don't suck. That's just you being negative about yourself and forcing negative feelings on yourself. That doesn't help, it just makes you feel worse.

I've felt like a hopeless emotional shithole in the past but I'm getting better. You can too, just keep trucking.

Life gets better. I believe in you. You can do the thing and stuff. \o/

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

thank you, sorry

i know it's mostly just me and since im not an emotional wreck rn and i can more or less think clearly what i said about my friend probably isnt really true in reality, and it's probably just like how they think our relationship works and stuff and im just overreacting. it's likely just me being angsty about feeling our relationship isnt as good as it once was and stuff, which doesnt matter because the past is the past and the now is here and relationships change and stuff so w/e

the inability to communicate well thing feels real though and pretty much the rest is complete bs from me feeling really shitty so yeah sorry about that negativity, thank you for caring enough to respond

[miauw62]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

it feels like there's this huge gaping hole in between my words and my mouth that eats up every single sentence i could use to explain what's going on to my friends, to ask for help and idk but communication is just impossible and it feels like its tearing me up like there's a wall or something and i can feel it but i have no idea how to explain it

i guess it doesnt really matter though, they only keep up a facade of liking me just because they dont want me to kill myself or whatever, they only talk to me and interact with me because i do, i keep seeking them out and talking to them and they just respond, they never talk to me on their own or like anything idk

why did i think i could call them my best friend like im really stupid, thinking anyone could care if im not being worrisome, that's the only time people seek out my company or whatever, so i dont do anything more stupid than just existing

i dont want to do this anymore, this week has felt so shitty and it isnt going to get much better, only harder, and i dont know what to do about it

i know im stupid and overreacting and it isnt actually like that and id feekl it if id stopped being a whiney bitch about everything but whatever i cant bring myself to really care about anything, so yeah this is what i feel and i suck

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You feel sad but you're not being a whiny bitch and you don't suck. That's just you being negative about yourself and forcing negative feelings on yourself. That doesn't help, it just makes you feel worse.

I've felt like a hopeless emotional shithole in the past but I'm getting better. You can too, just keep trucking.

Life gets better. I believe in you. You can do the thing and stuff. \o/

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

thank you, sorry

i know it's mostly just me and since im not an emotional wreck rn and i can more or less think clearly what i said about my friend probably isnt really true in reality, and it's probably just like how they think our relationship works and stuff and im just overreacting. it's likely just me being angsty about feeling our relationship isnt as good as it once was and stuff, which doesnt matter because the past is the past and the now is here and relationships change and stuff so w/e

the inability to communicate well thing feels real though and pretty much the rest is complete bs from me feeling really shitty so yeah sorry about that negativity, thank you for caring enough to respond

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 everybody needs to vent sometimes, don't feel bad about it.
and you're not the only one that can't communicate with people over emotional things,

[ArKFallen]

John Bain(TotalBiscuit) has inoperable cancer.