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[hops]

Alcohol deprived?
[DWARFING INTENSIFIES]

[Yoink]

FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK a payment was taken from my bank account on a different day to usual.
Three days early, to be precise- I was going to call before the correct day to postpone said payment, since I can't afford to pay it this month. Now I'm fucked. I'll have to borrow money from my mother or something, which I hate doing.

I think I will just cancel the payment altogether in future if these fucks are gonna be so fucking unprofessional.
Fuck charity. Fuck helping the world be less shit. I needed that fucking money.

Edit: And now I think my headphones are starting to break. That's just what I need.

[Trapezohedron]

University encroaches with dozens of final boss-tier paper requirements.

i also need to work, expected to do so full time and at 100% capacity. It's a family business thing.

I get yelled at when I don't focus on one side. I am expected to pass, and any attempts making myself pass for this semester, I get horribly scolded, screamed, shouted and grilled at for not doing my work.

i try my best to make things fast and i get caught in traffic.

getting caught in traffic causes a change of plans.

so i decide to work full time today. and i get yelled at for not following what i didnt do.

in hindsight this does not sound extreme but at the moment theyre demanding me to be at two basic things at the same time simultaneously, and hw does a human divide in to two

i just want to kill myself

[Arx]

Don't do anything permanent. If university is worse than usual at the moment, can you not get some kind of temporary reprieve from some of the family business?

Things have a way of getting better. You'll finish university eventually, or your family will have to ease up on you so you can pass.

[Truean]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-shocking-ways-world-about-to-change/

This. All of this. Right here. I've been saying this for years and been called a tin foil hat wearing weirdo.

My most serious personal problem with it specifically:
"Or the closeted gay/trans teenager, or the secret revolutionary in an iron-fisted dictatorship. Even if you rid your own life of cameras and microphones (which itself will tag you as a reclusive weirdo), you'll be surrounded by strangers who have their own."

And for anyone who has an issue or "counterpoint" to mine essentially being "relax," please know that I am screaming internally and restraining myself from slapping.... Silence sounds so much more intelligent out of such people. Getting outed would utterly ruin my life, and I have no sympathy for somebody reducing this complicated issue some neanderthal stupidity such as "just relax," because they're dumb and don't want to hear my cries of agony, least they disturb the head-up-the-ass denial pretense that nothing is wrong. Nobody is informing me of shit. I already know more than then do.

[Trapezohedron]

Don't do anything permanent. If university is worse than usual at the moment, can you not get some kind of temporary reprieve from some of the family business?

Things have a way of getting better. You'll finish university eventually, or your family will have to ease up on you so you can pass.

they expect me to do a lot of things, and insult my psyche almost every passing minute i see their goddamned faces.

i dont do well get your shit straight

excuse you i need to do thesis

why didnt you do it earlier you shithead

because im so full of doing things at work and when i get home, i tire to sleep and wake up to a new, wonderful day of mistakes and being pissed at everything i do.

now if it were me i could do 2x of what you do and also have enough time to complete it

get your shit straight son

but you were relatively free because all you had to think about was education. Pass this test, do a year of internship. Routine.

[TD1]

What's hamlet?  Sounds gay.
Anyway, I am off to sleep.  Perchance to dream!

4:50AM wooo

Oh God! I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a King of infinite space were it not that I have bad dreams!

[Rolan7]

wooo

I can't tell if you're drunk, sleep deprived, or both.

Yes
And now I'm awake and fine and not hung over at all, what the fuck haha.
Kinda sleepy though.

[itisnotlogical]

I've never been screaming, hateful, red-eyed angry about anything, but I think I kind of worked myself up until I was close to that this morning. Just thinking about how stupid and unfair the world is, and how many problems are caused by the fact that people are just plain awful, shitty, imperfect things.

[i2amroy]

I think I will just cancel the payment altogether in future if these fucks are gonna be so fucking unprofessional.
Fuck charity. Fuck helping the world be less shit. I needed that fucking money.

The way I've always seen it said is that you should always make sure you are on a stable keel and debt free as much as possible before you start giving your money away. If you are struggling to get food and pay your bills then you should be taking any extra money and taking it to pay off debts or investing it rather than giving it away to charity/church. By saving now, when you aren't necessarily stable, it helps ensure that you reach that point of stability quicker, and are more resistant to shocks to your way of life, thus allowing you to give more in the long run.

It also prevents you from sinking yourself into hunger and poverty by giving money away to help end hunger or poverty, which is kinda counterproductive.

[Sirus]

Got home at 1am in the morning and went straight to bed. Finally got out of bed at 9am, and I don't think I got more than 4 hours of actual sleep. The rest of the night was spent tossing, turning, and generally having bad sorta-dreams the instant I would close my eyes.

[Yoink]

I think I will just cancel the payment altogether in future if these fucks are gonna be so fucking unprofessional.
Fuck charity. Fuck helping the world be less shit. I needed that fucking money.

The way I've always seen it said is that you should always make sure you are on a stable keel and debt free as much as possible before you start giving your money away. If you are struggling to get food and pay your bills then you should be taking any extra money and taking it to pay off debts or investing it rather than giving it away to charity/church. By saving now, when you aren't necessarily stable, it helps ensure that you reach that point of stability quicker, and are more resistant to shocks to your way of life, thus allowing you to give more in the long run.

It also prevents you from sinking yourself into hunger and poverty by giving money away to help end hunger or poverty, which is kinda counterproductive.

We-ell... I have more-or-less covered my rent, and I have plenty food.
This isn't so much a problem of 'hunger' as 'sobriety'- that was my weekend fund.
It's all good now, anyway. Hopefully.

[Rubidium]

I decided to make an avatar rotator with my former avatar rotator and my current avatar rotator combined into one, but...
I like chibis better.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Also, the "Avatar vs. Avatar" thread has died out.
I have made a new one to revive it but no one has replied to it...

[Starsheen]

I have a freaking doctor's appointment Thursday and I don't want to hear what he's going to say.

[Spehss _]

Feeling down. Feeling like I'm wasting my life. Should probably play less video games and be doing more constructive hobbies, but college classes take time and energy and leave me with either too little time or too little energy to get much else done on said constructive hobbies.

Logically, college isn't a waste of time. But emotions aren't logical, and so even though I know I gotta get these core classes done to move on to the actually interesting material, emotionally I feel like it's a waste of my time.