Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[ArKFallen]

I actually probably should've been banned 

Welcome to the wagon. Glad to have you aboard.
I had a NSFW mod on the forum.
On these lower boards there is sometimes a lot of shitty made by a single person but Toad leniency and lack of report spam gives people extra chances.

[EnigmaticHat]

Aaaand my brain has decided it's time for me to remember past me and cringe to death.

I don't think I'll actually forgive myself for sme of the things I've said on this forum alone, especially that one time I narrowly missed a ban. I actually probably should've been banned 

[Spehss _]

Suddenly, self-doubt. Self-doubt everywhere.

Am I making the right choice is this the right major what if I'm not smart enough for programming or computer science or artificial intelligence what if it doesn't work out what if I can't get in the college what if I don't enjoy it what if I'm using my time horribly what if I'm making a huge mistake what if there's something wrong with me what if I'm weird what if I'm a loser what if I think everything is going ok but really everything is going wrong what if what if what if.

Yeee.

[Bauglir]

what if I'm not smart enough for programming or computer science or artificial intelligence

then you'll pick a new major

what if it doesn't work out

what does that even mean

what if I can't get in the college

then you will get into community college and be awesome there for a couple of years and then get into college because you'll have more proof that you can be awesome

what if I don't enjoy it

then you will have to decide whether it's worth not enjoying or not or if there's some other thing you could do with college that would be more enjoyable

what if I'm using my time horribly

then you'll have learned how not to waste your time in the future, paradoxically making it a valuable use of your time

what if I'm making a huge mistake

then you'll fix it

what if there's something wrong with me

then you'll be like everyone else

what if I'm weird

then you'll be like everyone else

what if I'm a loser

then you'll have cause to make friends with all the other losers, plus a motivation for your elaborate revenge fantasy of getting rich and, i quote, "showing them all"

what if I think everything is going ok but really everything is going wrong

then either you'll notice and do something about it eventually, or else it wasn't bad enough to really matter because you lived the rest of your life not knowing about it

i don't know if this will help but i hope so

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Aaaand my brain has decided it's time for me to remember past me and cringe to death.

I don't think I'll actually forgive myself for sme of the things I've said on this forum alone, especially that one time I narrowly missed a ban. I actually probably should've been banned 

I, local cool cat and burgeoning deity/cult leader MetalSlimeHunt grant you absolution for your past sins, as well as permission to "foughitaboutit" in the traditions of our ancestors.

Go now into the world as a new person, and give people tiny pamphlets guilting them into investing moral authority in me.

[TheBiggerFish]

what if I'm not smart enough for programming or computer science or artificial intelligence

then you'll pick a new major

what if it doesn't work out

what does that even mean

what if I can't get in the college

then you will get into community college and be awesome there for a couple of years and then get into college because you'll have more proof that you can be awesome

what if I don't enjoy it

then you will have to decide whether it's worth not enjoying or not or if there's some other thing you could do with college that would be more enjoyable

what if I'm using my time horribly

then you'll have learned how not to waste your time in the future, paradoxically making it a valuable use of your time

what if I'm making a huge mistake

then you'll fix it

what if there's something wrong with me

then you'll be like everyone else

what if I'm weird

then you'll be like everyone else

what if I'm a loser

then you'll have cause to make friends with all the other losers, plus a motivation for your elaborate revenge fantasy of getting rich and, i quote, "showing them all"

what if I think everything is going ok but really everything is going wrong

then either you'll notice and do something about it eventually, or else it wasn't bad enough to really matter because you lived the rest of your life not knowing about it

i don't know if this will help but i hope so

It helps me, weird as it seems.
Heck, colleges I want to go to are sending me letters and I'm still worried about getting in.  I mean, physical LETTERS.  Plural.  And I was still worried about that.  Heck, it's even the same field of study.
Permission to refer to this as self-reassurance later?

[Tiruin]

Aaaand my brain has decided it's time for me to remember past me and cringe to death.

I don't think I'll actually forgive myself for sme of the things I've said on this forum alone, especially that one time I narrowly missed a ban. I actually probably should've been banned 

* Tiruin bops Caroline o_o

Maybe ye be seeing it as if that same person is you! Not necessarily. It's how attitude (and maturity) works. :3

Forgive thyself Caroline, and all the others who feel D: omgwhatdidIdo about their past selves. Forgiveness helps--because it brings about the notion "Seriously [self], if I had known better, I wouldn't have done it!" Which is what is in the current time -which was not necessarily present when you did the past thing-.

To give a table of comparison, if you've visited the webcomic 'Unsounded', I'm basically Sette Frummagem--for the past before lateHighSchoolYears of my life in many ways! :v I cringe too! ...Then I bop myself with awareness.

You actually probably may possibly be banned or tell yourself you deserve it. But you aren't now. So rejoice--because that kinda attitude reflects on self-discernment and awareness.
You are capable of judging yourself without drawing back into defenses or brushing away your own faults. You face it in a more wholesome light! C:

* Tiruin also bops Spehss_

I poke you on one thing to research personally for your own benefit:
> Rumination.
Because honestly, that's what seems to be seemingly a habit in your case ._.

Spoiler: It's like this in a nutshell--if you allow it {that way of thinking} to dominate your life (click to show/hide)

'What if' predicts the future. It is only giving the show of possibilities. The problem that occurs here is if you orient your if-fing to only a specific scope of possibilities (...like negative thinking).

Spoiler: And then some... {general notes because I totally lack the time to explain all these!} (click to show/hide)

Refocus your what if's :3 Liiike: 'What if I can do this? What if I'm in this major? Does that stop me from doing {other important thing I prefer} What if I enjoy it? What makes me not enjoy it? What if I'm a winner? What if I talk about this with other people in a constructive way? What if I added humor? What if I punched self-doubt with understanding? What if I did all this despite my doubt? What if my mistakes can actually be successes? How do I do this?'

Add in more questions!
Also, what Bauglir said. Because he's gud at dis. Also he's Bauglir.

[Spehss _]

-snip-

i don't know if this will help but i hope so

Yeah, that helped. Snapped me out of it. Thanks man.

[hops]

Sette!Tiruin sounds adorable.

Oh gods I want to draw a bitey Tirmouse now.

[Spehss _]

* Tiruin also bops Spehss_

I poke you on one thing to research personally for your own benefit:
> Rumination.
Because honestly, that's what seems to be seemingly a habit in your case ._.

Spoiler: It's like this in a nutshell--if you allow it {that way of thinking} to dominate your life (click to show/hide)

'What if' predicts the future. It is only giving the show of possibilities. The problem that occurs here is if you orient your if-fing to only a specific scope of possibilities (...like negative thinking).

Spoiler: And then some... {general notes because I totally lack the time to explain all these!} (click to show/hide)

Refocus your what if's :3 Liiike: 'What if I can do this? What if I'm in this major? Does that stop me from doing {other important thing I prefer} What if I enjoy it? What makes me not enjoy it? What if I'm a winner? What if I talk about this with other people in a constructive way? What if I added humor? What if I punched self-doubt with understanding? What if I did all this despite my doubt? What if my mistakes can actually be successes? How do I do this?'

Add in more questions!
Also, what Bauglir said. Because he's gud at dis. Also he's Bauglir.

Yeah, I'm familiar with the whole negative cycle of thinking and stuff. It was a common topic when I was seeing a therapist. It's a thing I need to keep on top of.

I've been doing great the last couple weeks or months- mostly because I think I've straightened everything out, primarily the question of "what do I want to major in and do with my life" which was stressing me out so much the last couple years - but occasionally there's a moment of relapsing into negativity like that. Hence that earlier post. :x

[TheBiggerFish]

Me personally, I keep thinking that there's no way I'm as good as actual evidence tends to suggest.  Last year's (and only those) grades notwithstanding (Blargh, that year sucked).
I mean seriously, though, any advice on how to not have a mild inferiority complex?

[Tiruin]

Sette!Tiruin sounds adorable.

Oh gods I want to draw a bitey Tirmouse now.

I love you too.
((Seriously draw it when you've got the time :3 I'd love to see it))

Me personally, I keep thinking that there's no way I'm as good as actual evidence tends to suggest.  Last year's (and only those) grades notwithstanding (Blargh, that year sucked).
I mean seriously, though, any advice on how to not have a mild inferiority complex?

I think that's self-esteem rather than an actual complex (but that's just me taking all this out of your context). Grades (and otherwise) don't state who you innately are, as well as how your potential is. Just how you performed during that time, in general.
But the seeds seem to lie in the orange parts--though its usually an effect to a cause to a previous effect...
Have you thought of yourself as otherwise? :O

I've been doing great the last couple weeks or months- mostly because I think I've straightened everything out, primarily the question of "what do I want to major in and do with my life" which was stressing me out so much the last couple years - but occasionally there's a moment of relapsing into negativity like that. Hence that earlier post. :x

I wish I was more open the years back too. By then, I would've been doing all those posts too x_x
But then I'm shy and kept it all to myself and then got it all under control x_x But srsly. I still wish I had that kinda support back then. For quickness of discipline.

[Spehss _]

Me personally, I keep thinking that there's no way I'm as good as actual evidence tends to suggest.  Last year's (and only those) grades notwithstanding (Blargh, that year sucked).
I mean seriously, though, any advice on how to not have a mild inferiority complex?

Do cool shit that you think is cool and that you'd be proud of. If you feel good about yourself then you don't need to look for others' approval for how good you are.

...I think that makes sense.

[Trapezohedron]

Forget the past. Your past you barely resembles the you of today. Not sure if that is good or bad, but that generally means you cannot fault yourself of today for past you's mistakes. Your past you has much more in common with a stranger you barely know than the person you are right now.

[Arx]

Did I say school was good? Well it's fucking not. I'm already stressed to where I feel like I'm on the edge of completely breaking and everything is going to fall apart and just, I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the year. Fuck. I'm also Reconsidering some life choices so fucking yay

EDIT: ugh i've been trying to edit this in the basic window and i've deleted it like three times by accident.

idk i want to kill myself again fucking wee

Find something relaxing to do that you can do while at school and stressing? I know I get stressed pretty badly sometimes, and often all it takes to calm down at least a bit is to go get a coffee and focus on that. It's a bit of a treat and something to distract me. Maybe something similar?

Also please don't kill yourself.