Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Bauglir]

I guess it depends on what you mean. There isn't really unconditional anything in how people feel and act, in the sense of True = True eternal fact. I mean, even in theory you could have, at most, one such thing per person, otherwise there'd be no way to handle conflicts, and in reality you can always find some set of circumstances that'll change somebody's mind or something. Nobody's a stone.

People tend to latch on to one meaning of phrases, though, so when one of them turns out to be a magical fiction, they dismiss the whole notion. It's a bit like free will vs determinism, which isn't really all that much of a conflict. The problem isn't with the world, here, it's with the definitions you've set up to classify it. Unconditional love makes a lot more sense when taken to mean love not conditioned on any quality or action or set thereof. That is, love freely given, without expectation of reciprocity. That's definitely a thing. It's not eternal, and it's something you can fuck up if you do stuff bad enough to start inspiring conflicting emotions, but none of that is because you Broke The Deal. There never was a deal - just people giving something to each other, and then one or more stopped. That's how it goes sometimes, but there's no need to endow the status quo with a moral imperative.

[Tiruin]

That is a bleak view indeed :c

I'd very much disagree, though life has probably been kinder to me than some others.

And that's the thing which affects viewpoints--experience. How broad one's experience is, is a very important influence on how one handles things. Or their outlook. Even if a person lives a bleak life for most of his/her early adulthood (and thereon), given an open-mindedness, it'll balance out because life isn't all that. In part, its also how we think about matters and events.

Though I'd disagree on the unconditional love thing Commonly, the idea is 'love without conditions, but when thought about--there is a condition based on an observation', when the other meaning would also similarly be 'love despite any condition'.
That's where I disagree. :3
But in context, consider the other portion rather than what those statistics represent: That portion isn't being discussed. [And I feel like the statistics are being taken out of context too, to infer some kinda conclusion rather than what the statistics do discuss...]

Though, NG, it'd help your psyche a lot if you didn't prejudge stuffs like that from hereon out. Connecting the reason you're interacted with with a purpose, and then connecting a lack of that purpose with the lack of interaction with you will not help at all (and its...very incomplete. That logic. But how it'll be left is up to your discernment.)

Mayhap, remember that feeling--and then challenge it by moving towards others seeking sturdy friendships; I've got them here [to share a personal note], and its a very strong balance towards whatever cynicism or pessimism that may crack one's thoughts.

To share a point--beware of your biases and apply critical thinking towards where you can see your thoughts are headed. I'm adopted, but I don't apply such notions [allegedly what statistics say] towards my family, due to how subtle things can shift from speculation or observation, to a conclusion and an idealization.

[hops]

Chatting to my friend with benefit simultaneously with chatting to the person I'm romantically attracted to makes me feel like a whore, who'da thunk it?

[Trapezohedron]

this is why i love you guys


No, seriously, it's healthy for me to have someone actually challenge my point of view, because my point of view is pretty far gone corrupted and chiseled into my brain-heart or whatever people might call it.

I have really horrid biases really. Experience hammered it, because a few years ago life was a trauma conga line one after the other. Those who remember what I was talking about before I went inactive should be able to figure things out.

I've taken steps to avoid the pitfalls of a rotten mindset by actually developing friendships that I will cherish later. If one part of me is saying I'm using them, let it be. Because I kind of am and I need their support somehow to keep me from despairing.

I have once considered how adoption works really; why people actually go far to adopt people they're not related to. [no offense intended to adopted people, really]. Compassion? Self-worth? A pat in the back? Moral imperative? I want to know why they do it and I feel the only way for me to understand is for me to do it myself. Of course, I'm young and etc. and it's not a good time for that yet, but I think it's worthwhile for me to strongly consider it along the way in my life.

If unconditional love is conditionally about a moral pat in the back of the self, then I have seriously screwed up somewhere, being able to mangle said concept with that definition.

It sucks to be self-aware where you went wrong and yet, when you try to look back, you can't seemingly understand the concept anymore.

[Helgoland]

Chatting to my friend with benefit simultaneously with chatting to the person I'm romantically attracted to makes me feel like a whore, who'da thunk it?

Naah, it just makes you a rather cliché gay fellow. Nothing wrong with that per se.

[Rose]

Chatting to my friend with benefit simultaneously with chatting to the person I'm romantically attracted to makes me feel like a whore, who'da thunk it?

You're barely half a Descan.

[Orange Wizard]

I have once considered how adoption works really; why people actually go far to adopt people they're not related to. [no offense intended to adopted people, really]. Compassion? Self-worth? A pat in the back? Moral imperative?

A desire to have children but avoid further heartbreak after three stillbirths.

...

Or maybe that was just my parents.

Crap, this is one of those things that really bothers me for reasons I can't explain.

[technicallyAdventurer]

I have once considered how adoption works really; why people actually go far to adopt people they're not related to. [no offense intended to adopted people, really]. Compassion? Self-worth? A pat in the back? Moral imperative?

An attempt to keep a lid on the world population? I mean, we're overpopulated as it is. We hardly need any more baby-making shenanigans about.

[Graknorke]

I have once considered how adoption works really; why people actually go far to adopt people they're not related to. [no offense intended to adopted people, really]. Compassion? Self-worth? A pat in the back? Moral imperative? I want to know why they do it and I feel the only way for me to understand is for me to do it myself. Of course, I'm young and etc. and it's not a good time for that yet, but I think it's worthwhile for me to strongly consider it along the way in my life.

People like the idea of looking after other people, especially so when that person is a child. It's just a human thing.

And yes unconditional love isn't unconditional, but it sounds better if you say it is.

[Tiruin]

I have once considered how adoption works really; why people actually go far to adopt people they're not related to. [no offense intended to adopted people, really]. Compassion? Self-worth? A pat in the back? Moral imperative? I want to know why they do it and I feel the only way for me to understand is for me to do it myself. Of course, I'm young and etc. and it's not a good time for that yet, but I think it's worthwhile for me to strongly consider it along the way in my life.

:3
^ That catface represents the smile I have in reading all this.
...And the question I initially had towards my family, unconsciously, before I began to understand it all.

You're on the right track of thought--but rather, don't disassociate yourself by already stepping on a stone which has meaning, to act as your meaning [ie That orange part = your stepping stone of origin; take your starting viewpoint of consideration into the basis there too]

But I won't answer it, for y'all to understand it.
I'll just say the result: I am content and happy. It's a complicated situation, much as for many others who are adopted in turn, but by no means a horrid or downtrodden/bleak one by its own standard alone.

And yes unconditional love isn't unconditional, but it sounds better if you say it is.

That's the fun with meanings. There's a tendency to only see it linearly or how the common interpretation goes, when there's a lot of similar ones with the same value as the ones commonly seen. They're just...say, different.

[Arx]

So my dog has kidney failure, anaemia caused by some kind of subtle gastric damage, and months to live.

[Rubidium]

So my dog has kidney failure, anaemia caused by some kind of subtle gastric damage, and months to live.

Aww... that's so saddening...take it to a vet soon.

[DJ]

Desks at work were moved around today, and now I get to sit in the corner and stare at the wall all day, whereas before I had a view of the hallway to my left and a view through a window on my right. Just thinking about the months ahead is making me depressed :/ It's almost enough to make me start looking for another job, even though this one is by far the best I've ever had, and I've been fairly happy with it so far.

[Mephansteras]

My sister is still in the ICU in the hospital. Her surgeries went well but she still has a lot of injuries that need to heal before they can even try to bring her back to consciousness. Which means we don't even know how extensive any brain damage could be and even if she can wake up. And my other sister is having meltdowns about all of this and drinking to cope which makes her aggressive and combative and cause all sorts of nasty drama which none of us need right now.


BTW, this relates somewhat to the subject of adoption. Both of my sisters are adopted while my brother and I are not. My mom wanted to balance out the Male/Female ratio in the family and decides the odds of doing so naturally were against her. One of the issues my sister has is very common among adopted kids who weren't babies when they were adopted. Despite all the love and nurturing given to her by us she still never really feels like she's part of the family. All of the little differences force some sort of mental schism that gets reinforced by an underlying fear of rejection. She feels like she was abandoned by her birth parents and I think she's got a fundamental fear of us abandoning her too. All of which is another sad, especially since she does her best to push us all away when she's been drinking.

...I really wish we could get her to stop but so far she keeps going back to alcohol every time life gets a little hard.

[Jopax]

Desks at work were moved around today, and now I get to sit in the corner and stare at the wall all day, whereas before I had a view of the hallway to my left and a view through a window on my right. Just thinking about the months ahead is making me depressed :/ It's almost enough to make me start looking for another job, even though this one is by far the best I've ever had, and I've been fairly happy with it so far.

Get some posters or something, I'm sure they'd let you liven up the place a bit.

And I wish I could offer any sort of advice or help for the others, but I'm far too unexpirienced in those things to really be of help. So have a round of hugs on me guys, y'all are the most hug deserving folk I kinda-sorta-vaguely know.