I really can't get out of my head the idea that what I've lost recently isn't something Ill ever replace...
A friend, a puppy, a sibling? A sense of childlike wonder?
Rrraaaugh so vaaague.
But yeah. The good news is, it's over.
I mean, was.
@wierd: not to stir the pot, but have you considered that most humans naturally filter, and to remove the filter is actually a superficial consideration for you?
I have had the same thoughts recently, is all.
The conversation has moved on, but to answer your question-- yes. Most people instinctively filter. It leads to many problems in their relationships; Their lovers dont know the real them, they dont know who their lover really is, people they thought they knew do something radically unexpected-- because they did not really know the real person-- etc.
This is because people wanting a romantic relationship filter HARD-- and present an idealized front for their prospective mate. This happens on both sides-- Both fall in love with the phantom the other presented, and not the real person. People can only sustain a phantom for so long-- such relationships are doomed to fail, because eventually the act of keeping up the front is so exhausting and unpleasant that the joy they once felt for their partner dies on the vine. This causes one or both of the partners to just one day stop sustaining the phantom, and shit gets real. --all could have been avoided, just by not conjuring the phantoms to begin with.
Likewise with people pretending to like things their friends like, or behaving a certain way to satisfy the emotional well being of a family member-- what have you. Eventually the strain of sustaining the phantom gets to be so great, that they just cant or wont do it any more, and then shit gets real.
Again-- all could have been avoided, just by not conjuring the phantoms to begin with.
The worst that will happen is that you wont be accepted for who and what you are. It the person cant or wont accept the real you, then you are better off not getting in the relationship in the first place-- IMHO.
If you want to continue this discussion, we should take it to PMs though.