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[Tack]

I really can't get out of my head the idea that what I've lost recently isn't something Ill ever replace...

A friend, a puppy, a sibling? A sense of childlike wonder?
Rrraaaugh so vaaague.

But yeah. The good news is, it's over.
I mean, was.

@wierd: not to stir the pot, but have you considered that most humans naturally filter, and to remove the filter is actually a superficial consideration for you?
I have had the same thoughts recently, is all.

[Gunner-Chan]

A friend, a puppy, a sibling? A sense of childlike wonder?
Rrraaaugh so vaaague.

Just having a very, very close friend like I used to have. The fucked up thing Is I realized a lot of things I do and look foward to... Well I've had someone I feel that close to online for like... Five years.

And now that's just a hole, my brain isn't wired up for feeling like i'm on my own on here anymore.

I think I'm losing my mind over this.

[Frumple]

... wish I could offer better words of support or somethin'. I've had that happen a couple times in my life, splitting with folks that were pretty damn close for a long time, suddenly. It hurts for a long while, and to an extent there's always going to be that kind of person-shaped hole in you. It gets smaller, usually, but it never really goes away...

Just... sympathy offered, for want of something better? If it helps any. Maybe if it doesn't, too.

[hops]

A friend, a puppy, a sibling? A sense of childlike wonder?
Rrraaaugh so vaaague.

Just having a very, very close friend like I used to have. The fucked up thing Is I realized a lot of things I do and look foward to... Well I've had someone I feel that close to online for like... Five years.

And now that's just a hole, my brain isn't wired up for feeling like i'm on my own on here anymore.

I think I'm losing my mind over this.

I think I remember you being the one who told me that friends come and go, or maybe it was Sirus. I don't really remember.

I guess that the fact that I get over it easily is more because my hatred and longing is directed at a single, somewhat irrelevant person. So, uh, I kind of forgot what I meant to say.

[ArKFallen]

A friend, a puppy, a sibling? A sense of childlike wonder?
Rrraaaugh so vaaague.

Just having a very, very close friend like I used to have. The fucked up thing Is I realized a lot of things I do and look foward to... Well I've had someone I feel that close to online for like... Five years.

And now that's just a hole, my brain isn't wired up for feeling like i'm on my own on here anymore.

I think I'm losing my mind over this.

I think I remember you being the one who told me that friends come and go, or maybe it was Sirus. I don't really remember.
---
I kind of forgot what I meant to say.

Probably something along the lines of "So they(singular) are gone, look for the one(s) coming" as extension of the saying.

[Tack]

I thought Chaoticag was always around?

[Owlga]

She means someone she feels as close to and safe with as me for instance. Cag isn't quite at that level, most people she knows aren't and aren't likely to get there.

[Bohandas]

So, yeah, I'm out. I'll see you guys next month, when hopefully I've calmed down, because right now being part of this community is not something I'm proud of.

Ugh. My rebuttal being stolen by them leaving.
I had a bunch of nice and consolatory things to say, too.


But for everyone else, basically triggers are my trigger, and I act irrationally when people ask/tell me not to discuss certain topics.

Seconded

No-- It is superficial platitude, by raw definition.  It is superficial, because it is only at the surface-- not what the person really feels or believes. It is a platitude, because it is intended to make somebody feel better.

I dont get off on making people feel bad. That is a genuine statement. However, if I inadvertently piss somebody off, I would like to know why and how it pissed them off. It helps me understand them better.

You seem to be misunderstanding me here.  I wont change my core being for somebody, or act in a way contrary to my core being, but I am willing to refrain from using certain language or from discussing certain subjects if it genuinely distresses somebody. Personally, I feel that doing so is a platitude, but if the person GENUINELY NEEDS that platitude, I will indulge them, but only when I know they need it. I dont reach for the fake front as the first option, and I prefer not to deal with people that need such fronts.

Seconded

So, the "entitled little shits" are the people who speak normally, without choosing to censor their speech according to the whims of some half-dozen people.  When these whims usually aren't written down anywhere, much less supported in any way.  The only way to know you've stepped on one of these rhetorical land mines is when 3-4 people eagerly jump in to call you an asshole and demand that you change your post.  For "decency". 

"What, you want to know why!?  You entitled little [expletive]!"
"What, being called names hasn't convinced you!?  You entitled little [expletive]!"
"How dare you defy us!?  You troll!"

I would like to suggest that, perhaps, it is the people making the demands who are entitled.  And while I get the urge to join the circlejerk (I've certainly done it before), it's shitty.

Seconded.

(Prior discussion about masks people wear online)

Wearing masks in general is not healthy. Be who you are, and dont be afraid of who you are. Thats how you stay true to yourself. The problem is that many people will be mortally offended by that.

This has led to a somewhat dickish mindset of mine;  It is not my responsibility to placate other people's emotional foibles. More bluntly, I dont need nor want to kiss other people's asses to make them feel better. I wont go out of my way to shit on people (that's just plain rude), but I wont kiss their asses, and staunchly refuse to do so. 

I personally LIKE that basically any topic can be discussed here. When things dont get discussed, the underlying situation behind those topics does not improve. People hold in those opinions, they fester, and can become serious societal ills.  It can lead to bickering and virtual online violence with people throwing hissy fits-- yes.  But it also leads to more mutual understandings of problems, and communally proposed solutions as well.  You dont get the latter without some of the former. Take the good right along with the bad; it's just the way life is.

For an idea of how terrible the idea of trying to impose some kind of censorship on others just to suit one's own sense of safety or comfort is--  think about this for a moment.

Most people here have a sexuality of some kind. I do not. I am actually squicked out by sexual themes and activities, especially gregarious ones. I would rather not hear about or know about other people's sexual exploits, desires, or orientations-- To me, people are their cogitative agencies, not their sexual inclinations and drives. As such, when I see things stated like "But she has some great boobs" or something, it makes me want to punch the person that said it. Straight up, 100% of the time. To me, boobies have no value that would trump a person's mind. To me, the mind is the only real thing that matters. Imagine how unpleasant you would find this place if I had the power to enforce that kind of sterility on everyone else.

Instead, I just accept that 99.9% of the world lusts for one thing or another, and that sexuality is totally a thing, even though I despise it. It is the way it is. I could choose to lock myself away from the world, and miss out on all kinds of interesting and wonderful thoughts-- just because of the offensiveness of some sexual people-- OR-- I can just buck up, sigh a little inside, and move on-- and get to enjoy those wonderful moments when the awesome comes out.

I wont pretend that I like all those sexual things, just to suit the majority. That's wearing a mask. I will brazenly state up front that I am just not into those things, because that is who and what I am. That does not mean I get to force other people to wear a mask that looks like me.  Part of being accepted, is accepting other people.  Even when we find them offensive.

For this and many other reasons, I am staunchly against political correctness.  That is one giant assed mask that people get forced to wear, because "Somebody might be offended! (gasp!)". 

Fuck that. 

Be who you are. Be accepted for who you are. Accept others for who they are.

It's that simple.

Seconded

At the expense of having another emushion thread appear in my list, maybe we could try to move discussions such as that one over to a quicktopic dedicated to it.

Talking about difference between our life-selves and internet-selves: Harmless/Sad
Talking about Vector leaving: Harmless/Sad.
Where's the problem?

I meant inflammatory discussions that people feel strongly about and which sometimes lead to needing intervention of the amphibian kind.

Yeah the WTF thread had some bystander effect going on. Everyone thought it should be in a different thread, nobody wanted to make one.

Disagree. I didn't think that.

[Flying Dice]

All this introspection is fucking depressing.

It's not as if this is irreconcilable, either. There's got to be a happy medium between respecting others and not compromising your own principles -- and I mean that for both directions of any given argument, and it's only held off because so many of us are stubborn and unwilling to back down, myself included. At the same time, though, I want to be genuine. I don't want to be vague and noncommittal because that's the safe way out, but I don't want to be an ass who needles other people because they have different opinions and are equally unwilling to compromise. I suppose it's just that, especially after so many repetitions, these fights are easy to fall into. 

[Tack]

In my eyes, a 'perfect argument' will go either of two ways.

One, a person on one side of the argument is misinformed or uninformed. During the argument, they become informed, and change their opinion.
Two, both people have intrinsic principles which are conflicting for the sake of this argument. During the argument, these principles become unearthed, both people go 'Huh', and it ends.

Unfortunately, stubbornness, privacy and irrationality get in the way of these. We're only human, after all.

[Eric Blank]

Our generator died horribly last night. We have no power to run the freezer/fridge, or anything else. And of course we can't just throw money at the problem to make it go away, because there's nothing to throw. Its not going to fix itself either; it needs replacement parts, or outright replaced. But we cant do that, because that requires money, which we lack. Sending it in under warranty will probably be expensive enough, and of course it will take weeks.

Why does everything have to break? Why can't things just work like they're meant to!?

[Flying Dice]

I can't help if it's also an effect of the lack of body language &c. in online fora. I've consistently had arguments in meatspace end much more agreeably, even when they involve much more inflammatory issues (namely, arguing politics with a Baptist minister as an atheist, arguing politics with elderly conservatives as a far-left progressive, &c.). I think that's a pretty substantial element, actually: when you're arguing through a screen you can't see the other person becoming as visually frustrated as you are, and it's harder to read the situation correctly in order to just reach out and say something to the effect of "Let's agree to disagree."

Our generator died horribly last night. We have no power to run the freezer/fridge, or anything else. And of course we can't just throw money at the problem to make it go away, because there's nothing to throw. Its not going to fix itself either; it needs replacement parts, or outright replaced. But we cant do that, because that requires money, which we lack. Sending it in under warranty will probably be expensive enough, and of course it will take weeks.

Why does everything have to break? Why can't things just work like they're meant to!?

Shit, man, be careful. IDK where you live, but that sounds rough.

Also planned obsolescence.

[hops]

Spoiler: NSFW, gross teenager things (click to show/hide)

I feel like I have been doing you-know-what way too often. I don't know why I always think it's going to make me feel better when I wake up feeling like shit (apparently, going to bed early just make me feel depressed in the orning instead) when all it does is probably deplete my endorphin further and waste my time in the morning to clean up. I really wish I grow out of this lonely teenager phase.

My libido is already dead, even.

[Graknorke]

If you're wanking out of a sense of obligation rather than because you want to, then you probably shouldn't.

[hops]

It's less out of obligation and more of feeling lonely though.