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[Tack]

Talking to other friends who are revealing similar situations (Re: Earlier - Sexual assault) they've had. We're all keeping it fairly light, with effort, and they say 'Well at least Tack is a nice guy'.
To which my lovable, facetious mouth goes "Me? No, I'm a monster. But I know my limits, so I never put myself in a situation where I can do that to someone."
Que immediate tensing of necks everywhere. Wow, this was a safe environment before, wasn't it? Gosh it sure doesn't feel like that now, huh ladies.
So I apologize for the joke in bad taste and give a round of very stiff hugs and leave and sit on my computer at home telling my internet sounding-box what a dick I am.

Sigh.

[TempAcc]

There is this very absurd belief that transwomen get a thrill of assuming completely submissive social roles and receiving abuse, and this is made even worse since there is a vocal minority that are actualy crazy fetishists and pretend they somehow represent trans women in general. Thankfuly this doesnt seem to be a general belief among most people, just the kind of people who think watching porn containing trans people = social inclusion.

However, this still makes it very hard for transwomen in general to lead normal social lives, since whenever someone recognizes them as female, they end up having to be careful as to wheter said person thinks of them as an actual woman or as a fetishist of some sort.

Thats how I perceive it, at least, taking into account what the only 3 transwomen I know tell me. One of them tells me that she's afraid of dating now because her previous relationships were all guys who thought of them as a cheap porn actress of some sort, who thought she should be thankful they're calling her with female pronouns.

[Tiruin]

Quickpost and apologies for possible bluntness.

Thats how I perceive it, at least, taking into account what the only 3 transwomen I know tell me. One of them tells me that she's afraid of dating now because her previous relationships were all guys who thought of them as a cheap porn actress of some sort, who thought she should be thankful they're calling her with female pronouns.

I'd like you to support her and counter her fear; teach her, as that fear will only be detrimental in her life.
While misconceptions and misunderstandings may be in play (and the 'thankful' part may be more innocuous than what happens), genuine and sincere gratefulness is not based on a degree or level of expectancy in this context. It comes off as shallow, and superficial in the essence of thankfulness, if the last sentence is directly related here.
Which is pretty illogical in the first place if people knew what they were talking about. And...saying 'be thankful I'm calling you by your pronoun' doesn't really denote a good relationship if the tone is limiting 'you'. :/
Meaning: Help her with her fear, and educate others on this. No research supports that gender identity is directly connected to...err, those things mentioned [ie degree of submissiveness or 'receiving abuse']. Its a bad thing when assumptions are taken as conclusions--specifically stereotypical ones. The realistic account is much more broad and brighter than what you present here though, and that's a great ray of hope (...meaning that stereotypes are really confining to thoughts, and make things seem so much more constricting than they really are.)

Though its sad that the initial experiences are negative. Those play a role in future interactions due to memory.

[Eric Blank]

Fighting with the goddamn bureaucracy of the college over whether or not I've been living in the county for a year. I have, I have proof, they don't like it, I get them what they asked for, they say they need more. ad infinitum. I will never get out of the paperwork hell, because these lazy fucks would rather send me on errands while they eat their pitas and bean goop instead of help me.

I might as well spend my entire financial aid this semester on a lawyer!

[TempAcc]

@Tiruin
The general picture is indeed brighter then what I presented, thankfuly, its just that one bad experience can really bring down your perspective of how truly accepting society might be. Out of the three that I know, only one of them hasn't experienced any sort of harassment, but she's from a rather rich family and lives in a nice place in wisconsin, so that may have something to do with it :v

Thankfuly the situations the other two faced were due to specialy terrible people, and didn't seem to come from social stigma, just guys/girls being jerks.

[Tiruin]

Thankfuly the situations the other two faced were due to specialy terrible people, and didn't seem to come from social stigma, just guys/girls being jerks.

It is easier to take it as a constructive learning experience then. (with the hope that they'll realize what they did, too, other than an ever present fear) ._. I was planning to send a PM about Things like these resources on memory (ie Proactive/Retroactive memory) and poke at how they support fear.
But then quickposting here: My grammar is broken. My words are mixed. Sorry!

[Yoink]

We're still talking about this?

[TempAcc]

Sorry :v

[RedKing]

Drove the 40 miles into the office this morning, as ordered by the corporate bureaucracy. Walk in to find...there are no places to sit. We only have 14 available cubicles, and they're all in use.

If it were possible to shit pure, seething anger, I'd have dropped a nice load of rage right then and there. I'm working out of a nearby coffee shop instead.

I soooo want to email my manager and say, "If you can't guarantee me a place to sit my ass down, don't even think  about ordering me to waste an hour driving in." But I know its not his fault. He's just following orders.

[Dutchling]

I always assumed people just had their own personal cubicle.

[Bauglir]

I dunno what the culture's like, but it might not be a bad idea to send a more politely worded email, perhaps in conjunction with any equally pissed-off coworkers, so that he can "politely" fire it up the chain of command. Probably won't accomplish much, but it'll provide that sweet, sweet documentation that bureaucracies demand before they even consider the possibility that a problem might need fixing.

[Jopax]

Still trying to start studying properly, still can't open the god damn book for more than fifteen minutes. Funnily enough, I could still probably make it and pass most of it not all of the exams but it all just feels so pointless.

The chronic lack of sleep combined with the annoying heat doesn't help my motivation one bit either.

[AlleeCat]

Talking to other friends who are revealing similar situations (Re: Earlier - Sexual assault) they've had. We're all keeping it fairly light, with effort, and they say 'Well at least Tack is a nice guy'.
To which my lovable, facetious mouth goes "Me? No, I'm a monster. But I know my limits, so I never put myself in a situation where I can do that to someone."
Que immediate tensing of necks everywhere. Wow, this was a safe environment before, wasn't it? Gosh it sure doesn't feel like that now, huh ladies.
So I apologize for the joke in bad taste and give a round of very stiff hugs and leave and sit on my computer at home telling my internet sounding-box what a dick I am.

Sigh.

That was bad. Don't do that. I'm sure the people who were there told you the same thing. I just want you to know that you may not be aware of how bad that actually was.
I have to give you props though, you admitted that you offended them and apologized. It's more than a lot of people would do.

[scrdest]

Augh, yeah, the heat does not help. It's actually bearable today for once, but apparently storms are coming, so it's gonna get worse.

[TempAcc]

In other less sad news, stuffy nose, head ache and a seemingly slow day at the office today, wheee.