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[scrdest]

Well... it *is* harder to fake body language than it is to tell a lie.

[Tiruin]

Well... it *is* harder to fake body language than it is to tell a lie.

Err, yes.
Thing is I'm not going for that--even thinking about that
While interpretation denotes looking for signals, its the limits of interpretation  and thus meaning (due to how common it is implied), which...give the wrong impression. And...other things.
While I am 'aware' of this before...I didn't know the exact scope. Which was detailed in that deep talk. The incompleteness of it all...


Which gives power to the echoes of those thoughts pretty pertinent to the thread.

[Eric Blank]

So you're having trouble with your family because you don't display your feelings through body language as well as others would? Did I get that right?

[Tiruin]

So you're having trouble with your family because you don't display your feelings through body language as well as others would? Did I get that right?

YES (That, or sometimes my body language is taken 'towards others' if its categorized as negative)
And other things.

_{I am -so- glad I scheduled an activity related to this a few weeks ago. By accident I hope it'll clear this up too.}

* Tiruin is vague for concrete purposes.

[Tack]

That's actually really interesting.
Color me fascinated - if fascination were a color.

... like a rich turquoise.

[Eric Blank]

I'm sorry to hear that tiruin, I hope they come to understand you better. You can always talk to us when you're feeling down!

"Vague for concrete purposes" is such a wonderful oxymoron

[Jack A T]

Talking and/or thinking about travel can be enjoyable sometimes.  When I'm dealing with one of my bouts of what's probably depression, though, it really isn't.  Things I normally manage to brush off with a few snarky remarks or with just a focus on them as interesting political situations are a lot harder to handle when I'm already in poor emotional shape.

Of the countries of (sort of) origin of the side of my family I have the strongest ties to and identify the most with (that is, the countries I would otherwise most want to visit), one's gone hard authoritarian and the other is full of hundreds of thousands of people who want to kill me.

Kind of tough to deal with.
Tiruin: Body language and unspoken rules of communication are overrated anyway.  Granted, I'm a bit biased here, but still.

[Tack]

A friend recently told me that her boyfriend cheated on her. I didn't know what to say or do, and the Hollywood representation of "that bayusturd!" really doesn't match up with that cold realization that someone who lived in their house and was cooked dinner every night suddenly decided that she was worth less than a slightly bigger pair of tits.

I'm usually fine at dealing with these things... But for some reason I just didn't have it. I've already got such a low opinion of men, this really didn't help.
The customary "not all guys are like that- you'll find the right one" falls short when you start trying to hedge your bets...

[Arx]

Cheating is one of the few things someone can do to make me think they're a genuinely horrible or at least extremely cowardly person. Other things on the list include murdering people for no reason at all.


So anyway, a certain amount of research says that it's theoretically possible I have bipolar II. I guess I'll try the non-medication things that don't involve spending a lot of money and hope my problems go away.

[scrdest]

There is an element of cowardice to that, yeah, but not all situations are straightforward like this. Particularly in formalized relationships.

[Arx]

I'm afraid I don't really see how it changes. In any situation, by cheating you're betraying the trust of someone who you've made a commitment to care for to at least some extent because you're to afraid to talk to them face to face about the fact that you want to change or end the relationship.

The alternative is that you want the benefits from both relationships, in which case I direct you back to the horrible person clause.

I want to reword all those 'you's to 'one's, but one my phone that would take about half an hour. Imagine this post is less you-y than it is, please?

[Bauglir]

If it's any consolation, Tiruin, the way your brain is wired has probably contributed to the degree to which you are pretty cool. Which is a high degree!


Cheating on a partner is a pretty awful thing. Buddy of mine had to deal with that; and then the guy dumped her after she tried to forgive him. Evidently, this has been a significant contributor to some anxiety issues, because up until recently more people she trusted than not had turned out not to deserve that trust. Bluh.

[RedKing]

Cheating is one of the few things someone can do to make me think they're a genuinely horrible or at least extremely cowardly person. Other things on the list include murdering people for no reason at all.

It's....not always so black and white as that. 

[Arx]

True. I'm in a very weird state of mind right now anyway, I should probably stop talking.

[scrdest]

I'm afraid I don't really see how it changes. In any situation, by cheating you're betraying the trust of someone who you've made a commitment to care for to at least some extent because you're to afraid to talk to them face to face about the fact that you want to change or end the relationship.

The alternative is that you want the benefits from both relationships, in which case I direct you back to the horrible person clause.

I want to reword all those 'you's to 'one's, but one my phone that would take about half an hour. Imagine this post is less you-y than it is, please?

Oh, I absolutely agree on the 'afraid to talk' part. As well as breach of trust. But what I'm thinking of - and it's not abstract, but I don't want to spill the people in question's identities for internet at large - of the official relationship existing primarily on paper, with one of the people being horrible in manifold ways and the other growing resentful, but for Reasons (TM) not really able to part ways quickly.