Well shit
I feel like I've been hit with a ton of bricks
It just hit me that ibe been dating her as long as I've been on here. Now it's home and I don't it'll be back.
I feel like a wimp for crying so much about this
Yeah, the first thing I remember hearing about our Prince of Doom was that our Prince of Doom was having girl trouble
Seriously though, how old are you? Fifteen, sixteen? Starting a lifelong relationship at that age is a very, very rare thing. As stupid as it may sound right now: You'll get over it. What I find helpful in such situations is 'soldiering up': Keep your head high, keep that stiff upper lip, keep countenance. If you need musical support,
try this.People keep telling me that suicidal feelings are temporary and will somehow magically go away, because it totally makes sense to stop wanting something for no reason, but I've yet to stop feeling that way, which is unsurprising. What makes me sad is that nobody, not my family, not Bay 12, has actually attempted to give me any alternatives. Even on the forums, all anyone does is tell me not to kill myself, not giving me any reason that I shouldn't, with the occasional rant about how it's unlikely to be successful like there's absolutely no way to guarantee success. Assuming they actually reply at all instead of only replying to more popular bay12ers. And then there's the times that it starts a huge fucking shitstorm because apparently I have no right to feel that way, such as the incident that killed the Rage Thread because everything I look at needs to burst into flames.
I wouldn't normally post something like this because I'd be afraid of offending someone, but I honestly do not give a shit anymore. I'm sick and tired of withholding my feelings from everyone in the world.
Let me level with you, because I've been there myself: There's no real reason not to kill yourself. There's only two things that come close to being reasons: The feelings of those around you and your own cowardice. Those aren't real reasons, though:
- If you don't kill yourself just because you fear you'll upset those around you, you only live for them, not for yourself. Ultimately you'll set yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness - which puts a burden on those around you as well.
- How has cowardice ever been a reason? It refers solely to the act, not the outcome. Fear is nothing but instinct, something to be overcome.
Cowardice is the only reason I'm still here today, by the way. Jumping off bridges is scary, let me tell you - it really keeps you away from impulse decisions.
However, I'd wager that you're still alive for a reason. Living solely to keep on living is pointless - everyone has something besides survival that keeps them going. Do you really want to just - end? Or do you have something to get up in the morning for, something to carry on for? Why have you kept going so far, why haven't you given up? If you want to end it all because of the people around you - don't you want to at least stick the finger to them? Show them you're better than that?
TL;DR: You probably have something that keeps you going, else you'd've killed yourself already. Try to work out what that thing is, then focus on that - being dead will take away the pain, but do nothing else. Is that good enough?
E: Not entirely sober right now, so YMMV. Do me a favor and don't base your decisions on this post.