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[hops]

Pathos cannot generate emotions. You must feed Pathos.

Be one with Pathos.
Beonemakeuswhole

[Graknorke]

HARGLBLARGL

Stop trying to get in contact with my dad you retarded telemarketers! He's dead! We don't have gas here anyway so we CAN'T get a free gas boiler!

There's definitely material for a comedy sketch in there somewhere.

[AlleeCat]

So GF started ignoring me
She would respond to my messages every once in awhile but only say one thing then not say anything for half an hour to an hour. She got mad at me for asking why she was doing that saying it was implied that she didn't want to talk I said it really wasn't since she still replied every once in awhile then she got mad at me for explaining why I was upset so I just said if stop talking to her since that's what she wants. A few minutes later she said sorry, a bit late for that. I'm not sure if I'm going to respond or not still.

Have you ever asked if she can communicate better with you? I mean, there's a limit to what you can imply from something. I will never understand the reasoning behind not telling someone you don't want them to do something, even if you think they know.

[Skyrunner]

Why is compiling something from source so hard? Things apparently have fifty dependancies and none of them have exactly the version you need, nor do they tell you which one to use. All of this because the developers are too lazy to add a single line of code that fixes a crash.

Trying to compile a fixed Virtualbox is really really annoying me--all I want is a linux virtual machine that doesn't have incredibly slow software rendering.

Eight months and no resolution even though the fix was found and posted.

[Jopax]

So a certain talk was had, I learned certain things about a certain person.

The worst part, the one that I need to figure out how to deal with is that these things are in the past, and I cannot change them, no matter how much I try. This feeling of powerlessness, that the horrible damage was done and you cannot prevent or mitigate it anymore.

How does one deal with that, I know I can't ever blame myself because this happened way back when I never knew this person even existed, yet I still somehow feel horrible.

[IronTomato]

People keep telling me that suicidal feelings are temporary and will somehow magically go away, because it totally makes sense to stop wanting something for no reason, but I've yet to stop feeling that way, which is unsurprising. What makes me sad is that nobody, not my family, not Bay 12, has actually attempted to give me any alternatives. Even on the forums, all anyone does is tell me not to kill myself, not giving me any reason that I shouldn't, with the occasional rant about how it's unlikely to be successful like there's absolutely no way to guarantee success. Assuming they actually reply at all instead of only replying to more popular bay12ers. And then there's the times that it starts a huge fucking shitstorm because apparently I have no right to feel that way, such as the incident that killed the Rage Thread because everything I look at needs to burst into flames.

I wouldn't normally post something like this because I'd be afraid of offending someone, but I honestly do not give a shit anymore. I'm sick and tired of withholding my feelings from everyone in the world.

[LordSlowpoke]

hey tomato

go be a wizerd

this is legit advice btw

[flame99]

People keep telling me that suicidal feelings are temporary and will somehow magically go away, because it totally makes sense to stop wanting something for no reason, but I've yet to stop feeling that way, which is unsurprising. What makes me sad is that nobody, not my family, not Bay 12, has actually attempted to give me any alternatives. Even on the forums, all anyone does is tell me not to kill myself, not giving me any reason that I shouldn't, with the occasional rant about how it's unlikely to be successful like there's absolutely no way to guarantee success. Assuming they actually reply at all instead of only replying to more popular bay12ers. And then there's the times that it starts a huge fucking shitstorm because apparently I have no right to feel that way, such as the incident that killed the Rage Thread because everything I look at needs to burst into flames.

I wouldn't normally post something like this because I'd be afraid of offending someone, but I honestly do not give a shit anymore. I'm sick and tired of withholding my feelings from everyone in the world.

The only reason I rarely reply is because, well, I tend to be really good at saying the precisely wrong thing. And on top of that,I know virtually nothing about depression and coping with it. I'm just as likely to make things worse as help, but I do care. I would probably be one of the least able people on the forums to help, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm willing to. I'm on Steam as Flame99 (it may come up as zty82100); please send me a request if you think I can help, or send me a PM on the forums.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

People keep telling me that suicidal feelings are temporary and will somehow magically go away, because it totally makes sense to stop wanting something for no reason, but I've yet to stop feeling that way, which is unsurprising. What makes me sad is that nobody, not my family, not Bay 12, has actually attempted to give me any alternatives. Even on the forums, all anyone does is tell me not to kill myself, not giving me any reason that I shouldn't, with the occasional rant about how it's unlikely to be successful like there's absolutely no way to guarantee success. Assuming they actually reply at all instead of only replying to more popular bay12ers. And then there's the times that it starts a huge fucking shitstorm because apparently I have no right to feel that way, such as the incident that killed the Rage Thread because everything I look at needs to burst into flames.

I wouldn't normally post something like this because I'd be afraid of offending someone, but I honestly do not give a shit anymore. I'm sick and tired of withholding my feelings from everyone in the world.

Erm...
I would offer advice,  but I have precisely no experience as far as depression goes. I'm 90% sure I'd just make everything worse, and then possibly get you mad at me.

[IcyTea31]

There is a limit to how much one can do through the Net. Telling you not to do it is about as much as I or anyone here can do. The reason people say 'it gets better' is because usually, said feelings are made much stronger by no reason other than depression, a clinical disease; depression does go away eventually most of time, though not magically, but with therapy and support from friends, family, and professionals if need be. This doesn't necessarily mean life isn't bad, only that it might seem worse than it is. Life does suck, but the happier times make it so much better to balance it out; depression keeps you from noticing those little specks of joy, leaving only the sads. Please, talk with someone about your feelings. If it really doesn't help, seek out a professional helper. Beyond that, consider what would happen if you did go through with it. Absolutely certainly it would make things around you worse than they are. I myself sometimes consider it as well, but objectively, there really isn't a point to deliberately make the world worse for everyone else, so I carry on carrying on. Please reconsider.

I'm sick and tired of withholding my feelings from everyone in the world.

This is an improvement, actually. Withholding your feelings helps nobody; not you nor anyone.

Side note: it is true that many attempts fail, though explaining that rarely helps dissuade anyone. At that point, most people in your situation just don't care.

[Shook]

What makes me sad is that nobody, not my family, not Bay 12, has actually attempted to give me any alternatives.

Well, as much as i'd love to offer a miracle cure to all problems ever, the sad reality is that there generally aren't any such things. And when it comes to alternatives to suicide, well... There's just one, and that one involves not killing yourself. But, sooner or later, you'll be able to move away from all the shit that's pestering you, and when that finally happens, you'll be glad you didn't off yourself. You have it hard, that much is certain, and i applaud you for not bottling up your feelings, because bottling up feelings is precisely what you SHOULDN'T be doing. (speaking from experience, mind you)

Also, what you've been subjected to in general, judging by your posts and messages and such, sounds damn close to domestic abuse, or at least negligence (which is a crime, by the way). I'm probably preaching to the choir with this, but if i were you, i'd be looking for a way out ASAP. Mental damage is a royal pain in the anus to get rid of, even comparatively mild things like my anxiety, and the more you can avoid, the better. Good luck, mate!

[Orange Wizard]

not giving me any reason that I shouldn't

The reason is, in short, that when you're dead things can't get better.

Death is the end. There is no coming back. Unless you're Hindu, but I digress.

...

Depression sucks. That, I think, is canon. What is also canon, however, is that it gets better. Often it's hard to see that anything could possibly improve. But the thing I can say with absolute certainty is that things will get better... if you're not dead.
The question, in essence, is "do I want this to be over, or do I want this to get better?"

...

I used the word better a lot. Now it looks weird.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

So GF started ignoring me
She would respond to my messages every once in awhile but only say one thing then not say anything for half an hour to an hour. She got mad at me for asking why she was doing that saying it was implied that she didn't want to talk I said it really wasn't since she still replied every once in awhile then she got mad at me for explaining why I was upset so I just said if stop talking to her since that's what she wants. A few minutes later she said sorry, a bit late for that. I'm not sure if I'm going to respond or not still.

Have you ever asked if she can communicate better with you? I mean, there's a limit to what you can imply from something. I will never understand the reasoning behind not telling someone you don't want them to do something, even if you think they know.

Yes I've told her several times before.


Sad: I'm now single. She wanted a break to release some stress on her life which I completely understand. She held off on telling me for a bit because she was afraid it would upset me or make me mad. I know she's going through a lot of stress and if this helps her in anyway I'm ok with it. I'm a bit sad but it takes a little stress out of my life too so I'm ok with it. Not sure if we will get back together later or not.

[Bauglir]

@IronTomato

If you're dead, you don't get to experience neat things like video games, chocolate, or new and exciting meals. Moreover, you also don't get to prove to anybody that, no, you actually can do some pretty cool things, like get that date with somebody awesome or contribute to the body of science or art a thought nobody has ever thought before you. And on top of that, you don't get to find your own alternatives, because salvation isn't going to get handed to you over the Internet, no matter how badly we want to. And trust me, we do!

Death has got two things going for it. One, you don't experience anything ever again. That could be a plus for some people, certainly. I don't know you well enough to make an even halfway decent guess as to whether it does or not; between my knowledge of the general population and my tiny slice of knowledge about you, it doesn't sound like it. But maybe I'm wrong! The other thing is that it is the very last "I told you so", that final triumphant last word in any debate over where your life is headed. Mind you, what it proves is that your life really did amount to nothing more than a footnote and everybody who hated you was right. That might not be the rebuttal you want, but it is up to you, as with all your major life choices. I cannot recommend it.

Now, here's my question. Since I don't know enough about you to guess, what exactly is it that makes oblivion so much more enticing than reality? I've heard you talk about your shithead brother and your dangerously negligent parents. And they're shit! But in the realm of "things that will get better", there is nothing more certain than family. One day, and one day fairly soon, you'll be able to move the fuck out and never talk to them again. They will not be making your life any worse. Seriously, you can just pack your shit into a bag and start walking. Maybe catch a bus, even drive a car, depending on your means. Can't be any worse than what you've already got to deal with, right? You don't know what freedom is yet, so give that a try before you give up on life altogether.

Now, that is probably not everything that's wrong! So feel free to explain what else is making your life hell; I'll read it, I promise you that (though I won't promise I'll necessarily do it the very day you post it, because I am absolute ass at consistently checking up on things and finding time to write out a good reply). If there's nothing else you can put a finger on, then there's a very good chance it's clinical depression, which I can do nothing for. Good news is, doctors totally can, most likely, which again puts to rest the fear that it'll never get any better. Otherwise, I'll see what I can do in terms of giving you some options, since you're pretty clearly looking for some. I mean, I can't give you many good reasons to live, but maybe we can find some ways around the reasons you have for wanting to die.

[Worldmaster27]

bye for now im really sorry