I'm tired of putting up with the people here. Day in and day out I have to listen to how much they hate the fags to the blacks to the mexicans to every other fucking prejudice you could think of. And all I can do is just sit there and smile and pretend to agree without giving some hick the chance to fulfill their dream of killing one of the fags.
I hate this. I really, really do, but I have no choice. We don't have any family or friends in this half of the entire country we can mooch off of. We don't have the funds to move somewhere else. Hypothetically, I could live with my dad, but his house is full, he's busy with a baby, and to be frank? His wife and step-son absolutely hate me. Not to mention it'd be an absolute legal, emotional, and financial clusterfuck. So, here we are. I have to spend the next three years of my life in constant fear, hating myself for the things I have to say in order to avoid being likely hospitalized or worse.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I've caught myself even considering suicide, though even if that did end up appearing to be a good option, I'd never work up the nerve to do it. My mother's been supportive through all this, but there's only so much she can do. And to top this all off, my extremely religious stepfamily has gotten to my nine-year-old brother...We were watching a TV show, and there was a gay couple on screen. He shouted that they were going to Hell (He doesn't know I'm bi). So now my little brother would likely hate me for that too. Hell, to be honest, most of my non-immediate family would fall into that category. The entirety of my step-family is extraordinarily religious, and none too fond of homosexuality. Same goes for most of my maternal family and a few members of my paternal family.
I don't know. Maybe I'm being melodramatic. Maybe this is just another depressive mood swing and I'll feel better in an hour.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9774935 times)