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[Dutchling]

Just include every random keyword you can think of. I doubt any real person is every gonna read it anyway.

Bonus points if you can make it sound like a porn plot.

[Bauglir]

Why do people ask you to write a resume when you have literally nothing of value to put on there? "Graduated High School" and "One Year Of Fast Food" are my top accomplishments so far... eeegh.

List those, then spend the rest of the page listing skills those things have taught you. "Meets deadlines"? Sure, homework teaches you that. "Conflict mediator"? Might come up with fast food! "Fast learner" - literally the most important real-world job skill, since it means the training they'll give you won't be wasted. That sort of thing. No lying. That usually won't go good places; I don't want to get hired and landed in a position they could reasonably expect me to handle only due to a lie on the resume.

EDIT: Don't tell them how awesome you are, tell them why you'll be a good worker.

[Spehss _]

I'm bored. And depressed that I'm bored. And bored of being depressed.

What is my life. What am I supposed to be doing.

[DreamCarver]

I'm bored. And depressed that I'm bored. And bored of being depressed.

What is my life. What am I supposed to be doing.

Go for a walk or bike ride and find somewhere that you've never been before. Explore. It might help.

[MaximumZero]

I like sports and I think that's horseshit, if that counts for anything.

[AlleeCat]

Seems like hes basically saying "you're a man! Do manly things! Like watching sports and performing manual labor!"

[Spehss _]

Seems like hes basically saying "you're a man! Do manly things! Like watching sports and performing manual labor!"

"Yeah! Manly men do things like chase balls, or pick things up and put them down, or wrestle in sweaty body-tight and revealing leotards with other manly men! Be manly! It's tradition!"

[Bauglir]

Manly men do things like chase balls

To quote Descartes, probably, "In the pursuit of balls, no sacrifice is too great."

[Orange Wizard]

Seems like hes basically saying "you're a man! Do manly things! Like watching sports and performing manual labor!"

"Stop liking things I don't like"

[Yoink]

My housemate's cat just filled her litterbox and now half the house is a foul-smelling no-go zone until he gets back from work to clean it up.

[WillowLuman]

Acid reflux

[Solifuge]

Feel so bad. Break up is still hard. Can't adequately talk about it, and it doesn't really bear talking about. Don't need comfort. Just want to vomit out my feelings somewhere.

Had a good day. Got good work done. Evening comes, and I feel like this again. Every night. For weeks.

Can't shake this awful feeling of being worthless to another human being. Even someone who I am growing to despise, while they somehow still mean a lot to me. I still find myself fretting over their wellbeing, especially after they alienated our mutual friends, and seem to have dropped off the face of the Earth. The last time they did this, they were suicidal. I'm so worried, and so hurt... I'm shaking. I'm angry. I feel ill. So damned bad.

I want this feeling to stop, but I don't know how to make it stop.

[Rose]

Pretty much the only thing that can cure that is time.

[Tawa]

Dammit, my mom's been really pissed off today for no real reason and now she seems to think that my (recovering) grades should be significantly better before my teachers would even have time to grade my back work, apparently forgetting about concepts like "humans are not able to instantaneously grade papers", on top of the fact that she seems to insist that forgetting is impossible.

[TD1]

Manly men do things like chase balls

To quote Descartes, probably, "In the pursuit of balls, no sacrifice is too great."

"I fight, therefore I man"