Wugh, I had thought that school beginning again would sort of alleviate my frustration, but it keeps going strong :/
There's multiple things to it. I am in the Belgian informatics olympiad, and the final is in a few weeks (May 2). I have done so little for this, and it's entirely unsalvageable. I didn't really expect to win anyway, but I just feel bad about not doing anything, but I can't find any motivation to be productive. Not even for school. I have something fairly important due june 1, and guess what, I don't have any motivation for that either. And the teacher says he will notice if you start on it too late (I have 13 pages so far out of 50 minimum). And it's not that it doesn't interest me, I really enjoyed the trainings even if I sort of suck at competetive programming. I still have two years to try, yet I still feel bad.
Besides my complete lack of motivation, I also just feel bad about how unsocial I am, and just feel bad about how bad I am in talking to girls and stuff :x
I do talk to a girl after school sometimes but I'm fairly sure she's not interested in me, yet I keep hoping while I really shouldn't. I am painfully aware of the whole "projecting characteristics on somebody" thing and just feel bad about it :/
I try to be social, but I don't really like parties and the only thing there really is to do in this town that interests me is a bunch of dudes who play magic every last saturday of the month (which i could not be at since november because of circumstances every time).
The worst part is that I don't have anybody to talk to.