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[mastahcheese]

Why are there so many scabs on me?  :c

I don't even know how I got this one on my stomach.

I seem to recall you mentioning earlier that you have a habit of picking at things on your skin, including the resulting scabs.

If you're doing it in your sleep as well, that might explain the ones you don't remember getting.

Try wearing socks on your hands when you sleep, and see if you stop getting new ones, to isolate if that's the cause or not.

[DreamCarver]

Family celebration today.
Got told about how my voice has finally deepened, and how at my age I am already a man now. Had that last thing repeated multiple times (Wow. You are a man now! You are a man. Indeed, you are a man).   
Like, I know it was meant as a compliment and all, but still... That hurt.

And then the toast with how the family name is the greatest honor parents can give their kids, and keeping it is the kids best show of respect to parents. And now I yet again feel like a disgrace to my family name.
*sigh*

Discomfort in the face of expectation and the norm just plain sucks. Especially when the universe decides to keep grinding your face into it.

By the way, I'm sorry about that one time I started to take your mother's side without fully understanding your situation. I was new and deaf to the rhythm of the community.

Always wishing you the best of luck.

[JoshuaFH]

I tried playing Rhythm Heaven for the DS again. It's just one of those games I feel I should love in *theory*, but in practice it digs into my skin and highlights how bad my self-esteem and anger problems are.

I've completed just the beginning portion, and I feel it's already whooped my ass to where now I'm just in an awful mood.

Thanks game

[DreamCarver]

I tried playing Rhythm Heaven for the DS again. It's just one of those games I feel I should love in *theory*, but in practice it digs into my skin and highlights how bad my self-esteem and anger problems are.

I've completed just the beginning portion, and I feel it's already whooped my ass to where now I'm just in an awful mood.

Thanks game

As you persevere, you'll begin to notice improvement in your gameplay. You see that you have the ability to learn to do that which you thought was impossible. You'll get better and better.

And when you run out of Heaven, there's always osu!

[Vector]

-snip-

[Reelya]

Take up weightlifting Vector, nothing beats depression like bouts of self-inflicted unbearable pain: challenge yourself to see how much you can make yourself suffer, then try and beat that record! Plus it soaks up a lot of time with the research. It also makes you appreciate the times you're not weightlifting more.

[Tiruin]

Probably bring up the topic with your therapist//psychologist Vec? Or doctor, maybe? In the sphere of pain or feeling pain, you could ask for referrals from the doctors you visit (as in, there could be a lot of possible causes, so a narrowing down of probable fields of influence would help)--there's a cause for it, especially if it is repetitive (ie mention of 'cycle').

[JoshuaFH]

I tried playing Rhythm Heaven for the DS again. It's just one of those games I feel I should love in *theory*, but in practice it digs into my skin and highlights how bad my self-esteem and anger problems are.

I've completed just the beginning portion, and I feel it's already whooped my ass to where now I'm just in an awful mood.

Thanks game

As you persevere, you'll begin to notice improvement in your gameplay. You see that you have the ability to learn to do that which you thought was impossible. You'll get better and better.

And when you run out of Heaven, there's always osu!

I plugged the game back in, attempted one more song, got severely angry and threw the game right out of my 3DS. I'm always so upset with myself when I get angry, I hate myself so much.

It reminds me alot of Mr. Kawashima's, my avatar, Brain Age games. There's no doubt that it's challenging me to get me to improve myself, but when I just feel like the game is judging me and explicitly saying I have the thinking power of a 60 year old senile decrepit, I just can't help but take it personally.

And it's the same way in Rhythm Heaven, whenever I make the smallest error and the clapping monkeys look at my character with disdain, I can't help but react violently. As far as I'm concerned, the game flatly exists just to tell me I have no rhythm, and it wants to stab me in that soft spot, and it wants to twist it around until I'm just a sobbing mess again.

And it's at that point that I realize that my thinking has flown straight into irrational territory for suspecting such a cute little game of such malicious intention.

It's like earlier today, I have set it in my mind to make some form of effort, even the most flaccid and frail effort, to attempt exercise. I went outside with some jump rope and spent the next five minutes getting winded doing five jumps and tripping or just smacking the jump rope into my legs cause I apparently can't CAN'T GET THE FUCKING RHYTHM DOWN GODDAMNIT.

So I just did the weakest single lap jog around the block instead. Then I went inside and ate some cookie batter cause apparently I have no self-control whatsoever, I'm just a simple minded animal who is a slave to his basest whims. And then I went to work and ate roughly 10 hershey's kisses that are in a community bowl here. I'm so miserable with myself I could cry.

[Orange Wizard]

To be fair, clapping monkeys are probably one of the most aggravating things that exist.

[Skyrunner]

I am hungry, but there is nothing good to eat...

[itisnotlogical]

So, after hours of laboriously hand-painting a really nice texture, Blender crashed.

"Oh well," I thought to myself, "good thing I saved mere seconds before!"

I load the save file... and the texture's gone, replaced with a black image like I'd never even started painting.

I can't even muster up the energy to be pissed.

[Tiruin]

So, after hours of laboriously hand-painting a really nice texture, Blender crashed.

"Oh well," I thought to myself, "good thing I saved mere seconds before!"

I load the save file... and the texture's gone, replaced with a black image like I'd never even started painting.

I can't even muster up the energy to be pissed.

That feeling. I can relate so much. (Though with image editing program)

[technicallyAdventurer]

Anyway, I'm reading this comic about furries attending middleschool (and graduating to highschool further in) and my favorite ship, oh, no... It's awful. Mike and Lucy were supposed to be together, darn it!

*pokes head up*
Bittersweet Candy Bowl?

If so...Damn, I really need to catch up on that.

Yup! Honestly, it's going to take forever for me to catch up—I'm still on it's pages from 2006. It's nice to know someone else read/s it, though!

[Tack]

It actually amuses me because when I go back to the doc and they start bombarding me with questions so that they can fit me into their little 'depression' or 'bipolar' box, I can be like 'Look, I'm not depressed. I know heaps of depressed people and the stuff they're going through is WAY worse than mine'.

The only time I ever seriously contemplated suicide was when I was way too young to understand it.
From there, it became a 'Well if I'm going to die and leave the crapsack world, first I should kill everyone who's making it crapsack for me'.
Now it's more like 'Off myself? Seriously - and miss out on Being There when 3D printing takes off?'

[Bauglir]

It's like earlier today, I have set it in my mind to make some form of effort, even the most flaccid and frail effort, to attempt exercise. I went outside with some jump rope and spent the next five minutes getting winded doing five jumps and tripping or just smacking the jump rope into my legs cause I apparently can't CAN'T GET THE FUCKING RHYTHM DOWN GODDAMNIT.

So I just did the weakest single lap jog around the block instead. Then I went inside and ate some cookie batter cause apparently I have no self-control whatsoever, I'm just a simple minded animal who is a slave to his basest whims. And then I went to work and ate roughly 10 hershey's kisses that are in a community bowl here. I'm so miserable with myself I could cry.

If it's any consolation, jump ropes are the Devil and I've never managed to get the rhythm figured out for more than a couple jumps, so you may even be doing better'n me at that.