The wind's howling, the night's cold, my potato soup is the same as my dinner was for the past three days, I've an exam, homework, a meeting, more senseless drivel, paperwork, chores, people I don't care for, one person I care too much for, a perpetual state of cutting corners to make other ends meet, repeat ad nauseum, ad nauseum, ad nauseum.
I'm not happy, haven't been happy for a long time. I can't change course, or everything collapses- I'm now in the state of least unhappiness. I'm sick of school, I'm sick of petty people, I'm sick of the heartache I lavish on myself for another with whom I cannot be, sick of the cyclical nature of so much meaningless suffering. I'm sick of not caring enough about things, or not being able to care enough between every other expectation and direction I'm fed. So far as I can see, I don't have a future.
This is as good as life gets.
I'm just tired. So damn tired. Tomorrow's a new day, of course, but it's all the same, isn't it? And it's not the world at fault here, the world's indifferent. I'm the anomaly, the exclusive factor, the product and the source of my own unhappiness. Drink solves nothing, marking my arms wouldn't make me happier, even though others might see that I suffer, oblivion will never be an option. Maybe I'll go from distraction to distraction, as I have for far too long, to cope, to keep these thoughts away, to ignore the ever-growing discontent, but I can't much convince myself that it's good for anything these days. I don't much dream, I don't much want, I can't much have any of it anyways. It's all just so much nothing.
Well... You should probably just keep going with it. Circumstances change, even if you don't want them to, so if things are crappy... They more likely to change for best.
I felt somewhat like that, in the part of being completely tired of everything, and I got better after sometime. I don't have idea why, I just stopped dragging myself everywhere and started walking. I account that on having know some different people, since those are one of the things that most matter in the background of anyone, so maybe that can help you.
As for growing feelings... I don't have any experience in that, I ask for a heartbroken forummite to advice you on what's the best course of action.
Not going to go into much detail about this one but it turns out that people I thought I could trust are not to be trusted anymore. I feel pretty betrayed right now...
I can get pretty curious if you put it like that...(What did they do? Did they told someone a secret of yours? Did they took away something you liked? Or maybe they[gets slapped by conscience]Okay... It doesn't matter too much...)
Have you got a chance to talk to whoever did that to you? It's huge likely that they got a greater reason to do something you didn't liked. After all, you did trusted them before, so they at very least
were good, you could get reassured if could have the chance to confirm if they still
are.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9700501 times)