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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9701641 times)

BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90660 on: March 26, 2015, 01:32:54 pm »

I done and fucked up, it's too long to explain fully but suffice to say someone relied on me and I did my usual thing and now they have to do extra because of me. And the worst part is the feeling that I've let them down.

I really need to get my shit together, not tommorrow, not next week, but NOW.

Fucking me, I really want to punchmyself bloody some days.
Well...
If there's anything positive to be said, you acknowledge that there's a problem and are at least trying to fix it.
It's better than most of what I've done.
I honestly don't have enough information to say much else.
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90661 on: March 26, 2015, 01:38:11 pm »

@Tiruin:...
I can honestly say I did not understand a lot of your post. Stop being so much better than me with English :(
I thought I had good English...
Myeh :P I don't understand part of it either.

...Though I'm not better than you in English. Really. It was something I was...err, forced to learn. Early.
And that's my vague sad for today. <_<

I done and fucked up, it's too long to explain fully but suffice to say someone relied on me and I did my usual thing and now they have to do extra because of me. And the worst part is the feeling that I've let them down.

I really need to get my shit together, not tommorrow, not next week, but NOW.

Fucking me, I really want to punchmyself bloody some days.
Well...
If there's anything positive to be said, you acknowledge that there's a problem and are at least trying to fix it.
It's better than most of what I've done.
I honestly don't have enough information to say much else.
Also talk to the person in question with an apology. Can relate so well here ._. She was lenient and understanding, yet stern and 'don't do it again' like. Go Jopax!
Also you can punch yourself--figuratively. Do that whenever you feel like slipping into that ol' procrastination habit. :D
...I find that it works when you use a springboard to check yourself, but that's me :/
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90662 on: March 26, 2015, 01:45:26 pm »

To the extent that the conversation's about Tiruin (and not all of it is, if I'm reading correctly), I think there's something to it. There's an element of reducing her to a character to the whole thing? I'm not sure, but at some times I've felt like the same sort of idealization is something that happened to you, Vec. Not sure if it's a similar experience, but the whole This Is What You're Known For thing can be constraining when meant as a compliment, and it's something that's notably absent from the "benign" examples of forum Living Memes like Aqizzar, who seemed to be basically treated like a regular dude who was also Internet royalty, or at least that's my recollection of that bit. It's a mode of relating that I know I tend to fall into a lot, at least, so maybe I'm projecting more than I am identifying a real problem, but it does seem easy to start thinking of people as a collection of Notable Roles than as independent souls sometimes. As far as that goes, no, it's not something that was bugging only you. I also wonder about the extent to which it bugs Tiruin, if at all.

To the extent that it's about the Sad Thread and listening, that's definitely a thing. I'll waffle on what I use the thread for; sometimes it's just because I have a nagging thing I need to at least get out there, sometimes it's a more heartfelt need for acknowledgement or advice. I keep up on this thread as well as I can, and I'm only able to reply to a fraction of the posts here. This kind of dovetails with what I was talking about to Objective a while back, but we're all in the position of throwing bottles out to sea here more than we are face-to-face on a couch or something. Often, there will just feel as though there's nothing I can say. Sometimes I'll make a token post to express sympathy in general, because good lord does this thread deserve that. But when I am capable of making a coherent response, I do it in a particular way. Often, an overwrought and too-elaborate way, but it's what happens when I try to express what I feel. It is, by no means, the ideal, and I'm sure I often fail to help at all. I am sorry to anybody I haven't done anything for! You deserve better. More than doubly so to people I've inadvertently made to hurt worse, whether by apparent condescension or any number of other things. I feel I have to try though. I might not help if I try, but I certainly can't if I don't.

I like what you say about listening. At the heart of it, that's something I try to do, and what I really want out of it. At the end of the day, all these lengthy paragraphs I write boil down to "I hear you, bro." At least when I don't get bogged down in my reflexive attempts to offer constructive advice to people who aren't asking for it.

The fact that it is not obligatory is what makes it a gift, and what gives it its own value.

This is a true fact, I think. But, anyway, I've been rambling long enough - the point is, I think we do need to listen. For whatever it's worth, I try.

Geez, for a post about listening, I sure do talk about myself a lot... Oh well.

PS No worries about PMs, most times when I send those it's more about letting somebody know that somebody else cares than it is about getting a reply. I'm glad they were read - that's the important part. Also, I'm a terrible example of sending those out, but thanks anyway >__________________>

EDIT: I know that feeling, Jopax. It sucks. Punching yourself will probably not help you achieve the straightening-out that you actually want. If being angry with yourself is something you need to do, then that's okay - just don't overdo it. I really don't have good advice. Not sure if you want it. But good luck.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 01:48:55 pm by Bauglir »
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“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90663 on: March 26, 2015, 01:56:19 pm »

.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2017, 08:06:04 pm by Vector »
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90664 on: March 26, 2015, 01:57:29 pm »

@Bauglir: It doesn't bug me at all if its pertaining to me :P
It bugs me if it..begins...excluding(?) others? Or...y'know, makes more out of what is, than what is?
To my memory, I think I addressed it in this thread a long time ago with a few paragraphs on it, which poked to acknowledge the attitude and not glorify the person, but I think my wording went off on a tangent that it went...err, not that direct.

I am failing in my metaphorical intelligence due to it being 2:56am. Yay internet woes!
PPE: Hi Vector! :)

Also I got this great advice from one of my professors today, and I thought it might be worthwhile to drop it here. My professor (who is close to the top of my "best professors" list) at about the age of 17 had absolutely no idea what to do with his life, so his parents, attempting to help him out, took him to a place that specializes in doing nothing but testing people and trying to get them pointed in the right direction (and is still in business to this day, so they must be doing something right :P). As part of their response that they gave back to him after 1.5 days of assorted tests, they also told him two things that they said they tell everyone:
Spoiler: Spoilered for space (click to show/hide)
...You made me remember the many things said to me from {one person I may not see or meet again...my Grade 6 teacher} early in my childhood that kept me going through a ton of not-that-good stuff.. She mentioned both #1 and #2 as an analogy, and said that if I ever forget the words, that its hard to forget the idea.

It was the analogy of the tree. The branches represent your talents and skills. The leaves represent their bloom. A tree is healthy if all are cultivated well. Prune and trim the branches, and the tree will remain small.
Something like that, I'm paraphrasing again. :/
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 02:04:26 pm by Tiruin »
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90665 on: March 26, 2015, 02:02:43 pm »

.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2015, 02:39:10 pm by penguinofhonor »
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Spehss _

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90666 on: March 26, 2015, 02:08:05 pm »

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Helgoland

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90667 on: March 26, 2015, 02:36:21 pm »

Now I want an ASCII tiruinflip.
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hops

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90668 on: March 26, 2015, 02:37:03 pm »

All this "Tiruin isn't permitted to act like a fallible person" thing is a bit silly, because Tiruin is fallible in a manner similar to me, and that is her lack of esteem in her creative works. Every time I see her crack a little bit everyone rush in to give her unhelpful input about how her art is awesome instead of actually offering anything constructive, so I would see why Tiruin doesn't mention that, ever, especially since she's not as punchable as me.
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Solifuge

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90669 on: March 26, 2015, 02:44:37 pm »

I use this thread to vent and just say things. Being listened to its nice, but I don't care for advice-getting or anything. Hypocritically, giving people unsolicited advice is a bad habit of mine... and when I think about it, it's a dissociated, non-emotional way to respond to the suffering of others. I know it's been unhelpful to others in the past, especially when they (like me) aren't looking for suggestions, but just to share and be heard. Support doesn't have to solve other people's problems... sometimes just sharing and comiseration is all someone needs.



Anyway, personal sad: compy is dead. Was able to back up a lot of things first, but lost a good 700 gigs of media, livestream recordings, software that's been involved in creative projects, reference books, and a lot of old projects. The reinstall of Windows 7 won't take either... the hard disk has been throwing errors after the first reboot during install. Currently writing 0s to the whole drive, linux partitions and all, in hopes that it'll work on a clean hard disk. It's sad to let go of all those memories and lose all that old work. Ah well... crossing my fingers that it works, and I didn't brick my compy for nothing.
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Stuebi

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90670 on: March 26, 2015, 02:51:37 pm »

Well, the fact that there are at least a few people like me. I didnt expect a full on psychatric treatment, but sometimes just writing it down helps a lot.

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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90671 on: March 26, 2015, 03:01:45 pm »

Well, that was weird.
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sjm9876

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90672 on: March 26, 2015, 03:02:23 pm »

Welp, my only local gaming cafe has just closed :(
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90673 on: March 26, 2015, 03:04:53 pm »

Good point.  I was a bit disappointed when I got really drunk and whined here, at an early hour, and nobody really commented.  But even though I was looking for attention and support, it actually felt pretty good just to say the things "out loud" as it were.  It's enough to know that people read it, and it helped me sort the thoughts out in my own head.

I guess for actual advice, people should go to Life Advice.  I haven't really observed that board at all, though.

Well, that was weird.
Seriously.
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hops

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90674 on: March 26, 2015, 03:16:01 pm »

With that said, that's also the reason why everyone likes Tiruin I think. She actually PM you and seem to care, and no offence but the other 'positive people' on Bay12 seem mildly annoyed of me, so I don't like them.
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