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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9700958 times)

penguinofhonor

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90645 on: March 26, 2015, 12:44:30 pm »

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« Last Edit: November 08, 2015, 02:39:05 pm by penguinofhonor »
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BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90646 on: March 26, 2015, 12:50:13 pm »

Well...
I've resolved to at least try, from now on.
It probably won't end well, but I'll be able to honestly say that I tried to help.
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90647 on: March 26, 2015, 12:55:18 pm »

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« Last Edit: March 26, 2017, 08:06:12 pm by Vector »
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BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90648 on: March 26, 2015, 01:02:27 pm »

Erm... You're welcome?
Honestly, I was preparing for some sort of teardown of my post, not appreciating it.
This makes me happy, actually.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90649 on: March 26, 2015, 01:13:53 pm »

-Snip 1-
I do use this thread as an emotional wastebasket, because at the end of the day when things go bad in my life all I really want to do is just Tell Someone.
Given that my current life revolves around 'What have You done poorly' (and you'll definitely notice that theme in the advice I give.), I like to have people here who just give the acknowledgement that they listen, and gosh yes, my life is hard. It's kind of along the same strain as Vector's above, where really all I want is for someone to listen and validate me.

-snip 2-
Nngh... I often speak my mind on a lot of things which aren't politically correct, or nice, because I think they'll do some people some good. I don't like people jumping on sympathy bandwagons, and I think that creating a fishing culture only leads to big ego issues later in life.
These are all my personal issues, so I usually try to lead with those (As a sort of disclaimer) whenever I give my horrific and cold advice.
This is one of those moments.
'Cos (To paraphrase), so far you've said:
1. Demonstrating someone as 'the best' at something only serves to put others down.
2. I don't like the idea of Saints, so I don't like the idea of Sainting someone.
3. Tiruin's style of naive positivity grates on me personally, so I don't think she deserves their title.

I'll start and finish my rebuttal by saying that Tiruin hasn't asked, accepted, or even acknowledged this informal title that pretty much only I have been throwing around. Thus, whilst I can listen to your pain, I am struck with the constant thoughts of Tiruin's, who has been undercut, pulled down, and now you have stated that her particular brand of help isn't helpful to you, and that you didn't say that at the time because you were afraid of her popularity. I really enjoy what Tiruin does for me personally, but I can understand if it doesn't help for others. The real reason why I made such a big fuss about it in the first place is simply because she never posts her actual sads here. We can literally never know exactly how much pain she has in her daily life, and she chooses to offset that pain by coming to our dumping ground and doing nothing but attempting to make us all feel better.
If you want me to not deify people, I won't deify people. But this entire conversation is happening Without the input of Tiruin, who is being used as a strawman for the ineffectivity of the sad thread.
 I won't make general blasphemous references to her being a saint again. But I would really enjoy if we would stop burning her.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 01:26:26 pm by Tack »
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

IcyTea31

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90650 on: March 26, 2015, 01:15:11 pm »

I haven't been posting much in this thread, as I've had surprisingly few sads of my own recently, but I've read every single post since my PTW. Know that there is always someone listening, even if your post seems to go unnoticed.
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90651 on: March 26, 2015, 01:18:11 pm »

I'm confused where the discussion went to me from Stuebi-
Oh. I missed a page.

._.

Hum. Personally, I thought the whole thing about referring Saint to...err, my name was more of an in-joke or something, like how I'm confused about Mr. Rogers (which, after a nice bit of research, gets more understandable). But I digress--Vector has a good point! (That, or the frequency to focus of posts also misses out on things; I've noted that there is a frequency of similarity to the same people who point out the same things...to some other people, but that's an aside). However I did note that others did get acknowledgement :3 Maybe in a seemingly less frequency than others, but (not in public thread), many people I've seen appreciate others who care, whether or not they are acknowledged (in public).

Maybe I misworded my point way back somewhere, where I poked at the notes towards me, wherein the note was more on the attitude inherently shown instead of the person being mentioned.

...I think I lost track of the point back there, because it seems to be in good agreement. @Vec: If I ever did something wronged to you, please say D:
Or...something something shadowed over(?) other people.

like, is she even catholic? it's the Philippines so it's likely but still
Yes. :P
But I'm more...err, open(?)? I'm unsure what the term is, but its more like 'I'm {this religion} but I love the study of religion and their ideas.'
>_>
Like the influence on architecture.

...Nor did I take any kind of...pride(?) or something when being called a saint. I thought it was something else entirely (like, another form of 'that's a good idea' or something less...focused?)

Just clarifying ._. I'm just confused a bit, here.



A lot of people in this thread mean well but I think the dynamics of a forum thread, especially a megathread, make this a pretty crappy place for emotional support. It's doing more harm than good.
It's more on the idea that RL support is a ton better--and forum-based support is more on advice; physical support gives a ton more than forum-based, though the degree of open discourse and thought, as well as giving ideas, remain relatively equal, the former is able to assess a deeper level of understanding than the latter, given that sometimes people type their own interpretations (and very understandable given how some problems are: a mix of understanding) and some interpretations may miss out on tiny details from the origin.
That, and the presence of someone else is notably addressing many more things. To put into perspective the words of my Guidance Counselor (given that we're working in the same course, so he's like a mentor-of-sorts):
Spoiler: My wording is messy. (click to show/hide)
Paraphrased out of memory, anyway. He mentioned a lot of things which I may lack wording here. He had a point that its more on -how- things are delivered.

Though you've a point ._. There's a degree of aid which is lacking at times, either due to the technical aspect (default forum goers see 15 posts per page. If you posted a big thing at the #15th interval, while the next poster both hasn't seen or noted the previous, it may be easily lost due to most forumgoers using the new-replies part), or to the perceptive aspect: one may easily compare how others' posts are judged, then compare to their own posts...mostly a subconscious note.

Though, given the many people who do pretty much help here in many ways, its a subjective case depending on what happens during those situations of relating the ideas.

PPE 6 replies.
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i2amroy

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90652 on: March 26, 2015, 01:19:50 pm »

Yeah, I'd definitely not claim that this thread "does more harm than good". Sure, it's not the best place for emotional support; that's sadly the limitations of the electronic media, it's just not as good as physical contact for a lot of things like this (at least not yet :P). That said I'd like to think that every little bit helps, and there's definitely been times that I know that I've been helped (even if only a little) by the responses of people here (or even just their presence). Hell, even just the fact that I can look at some of the people here and know that I'm not alone in some of the trials that I've gone (or are going) through helps :).

It's like, just because the thread doesn't necessarily break you out of your immediate fugue doesn't meant that it's worthless you know? Everything, even if it's just having a place to vent and possibly have someone else listen, is helpful IMO.

Also I got this great advice from one of my professors today, and I thought it might be worthwhile to drop it here. My professor (who is close to the top of my "best professors" list) at about the age of 17 had absolutely no idea what to do with his life, so his parents, attempting to help him out, took him to a place that specializes in doing nothing but testing people and trying to get them pointed in the right direction (and is still in business to this day, so they must be doing something right :P). As part of their response that they gave back to him after 1.5 days of assorted tests, they also told him two things that they said they tell everyone:
1) They have discovered that an important link in people being happy and satisfied with their life is for them to have a number of different activities that incorporate not just what they enjoy, but also the things that they are good at ("talented in"). These activities might range from things like community choirs to jobs to hobbies, but the idea is that you have to do things that cover all of your talents. If you were talented in math and music, and made a career out of math, you still need to do something with the music or it will be much harder for you to feel happy and satisfied. Similarly if you make a career out of the music, you've still got to find an outlet for the math somewhere or you are going to run into problems.
2) The overall largest link that they had discovered in their 50 years or so of testing prior to his tests behind a person's success in the world was vocabulary, or all things. Regardless of if you were an artist or an engineer or a musician, a larger vocabulary was the single greatest factor they found in how successful people were. Needless to say they emphasized that you shouldn't necessarily just go read a dictionary, but anything that improves your vocabulary is a good thing in the long run.
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BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90653 on: March 26, 2015, 01:20:49 pm »

Well, as far as my sads go...
This is fairly old, from Tuesday actually.
Anyway, we had a speaker come into my school to talk bullying and cyber bullying. The actual assembly was interesting and informative if, for several reasons, a bit depressing.
No, my sad is that several people has the utter gall to make fun of it during and after the assembly.
It's just... Why? Why would you even find it funny? You're supposed to be 2nd Years, dammit, not 3rd Class Students. You're supposed to be at least kinda mature, not this...
Relatively few people took it at all seriously, too, and, well...
Yeah. I just needed to vent.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90654 on: March 26, 2015, 01:24:16 pm »

I'm confused where the discussion went to me from Stuebi-
Oh. I missed a page.

._.
We are trying to Un-Saint you there Tiruin. Please stop being so reasonable and forgiving.


... I mean, Everyone else is also putting forward some very valuable points too.
Blitz has a good theory of 'Resolving to try' which is a truly lovely sentiment, and imo the mark of a good person, whilst PenguinofHonor is giving a viewpoint which I actually hadn't considered before and must think on.
Special mention to Vector who's shared all of this despite how cold or brutal we may've been in the past about it, and i2amroy for bringing in some pretty inspiring points from someone actually educated in this.

Edit: Uncaps.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 01:29:59 pm by Tack »
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90655 on: March 26, 2015, 01:26:10 pm »

eep .-.

All I'm saying is that I didn't take it seriously, and I hoped nobody else did in a bad way (and that anyone who was saying that was rather poking at the attitudinal traits rather than the person) and stuff. Or that I don't think anyone was...intentionally being cold or such. Or even cold at all. Just unmentioned in public, but felt (appreciative) in person. But unspoken.
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Dutchling

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90656 on: March 26, 2015, 01:27:22 pm »

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BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90657 on: March 26, 2015, 01:28:57 pm »

@Tack:I...
I'm not sure how to feel about that post of yours, partly since it seems sarcastic, and partly because, well, ALL-CAPS IS NOT SOMETHING I CAN TAKE SERIOUSLY. I've no idea why, since it's supposed to signify anger.
Also, I feel like I'm being made fun of in it, so there's that.
@Tiruin:...
I can honestly say I did not understand a lot of your post. Stop being so much better than me with English :(
I thought I had good English...
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Jopax

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90658 on: March 26, 2015, 01:29:24 pm »

I done and fucked up, it's too long to explain fully but suffice to say someone relied on me and I did my usual thing and now they have to do extra because of me. And the worst part is the feeling that I've let them down.

I really need to get my shit together, not tommorrow, not next week, but NOW.

Fucking me, I really want to punchmyself bloody some days.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #90659 on: March 26, 2015, 01:31:14 pm »

I know that feeling all too well...


@Blitz
Ah, you ninjad me just as I was cleaning it up. Believe me, I've been thinking a lot on ethics, points of view, empathy and other such pussy shit lately, so it's coming from the heart when I say that making an effort to better the lives of other people is never something I could be sarcastic about, unless it were truly hilarious.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.
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