._.
Vector, under all studies I've read towards Psychology...and totally out of context of your words from that post alone, they...don't have that well of understanding how acceptance and understanding itself are, to put in lightest of terms. The good idea of meditation and compassion...should not be tied to 'toughed up'.
There should not even be a 'you should be glad {I'm not punishing you}'. There should not be a punishment.
There is no intent of disrespect at an early age.
Punishing a child physically without giving any alternative to learn about a detrimental quality, 'so they learn not to be {detrimental quality}' doesn't work.
There should not be a 'should be' in being glad of negative consequences for being trans, or who you are.
One does not just stand by and say 'you've got it good' while advocating good things...when it is very much possible to help and aid.
There is no 'nothing I can do to make things better'--the first point is to change the viewpoint. Maybe she lacks knowledge about it--...it really muchly seems like she totally lacks knowledge about it, actually.
This is basically why I went into the Psych course. TO understand what's going on, despite having a lot of... experience in it beforehand. It works.
And i just got a relapse here. ...Ahhh.>.> spoilered because sudden rethought.
I typed that under the idea that what was typed was something you were
going to believe instead of relating what happened to cause the sad. Sorry.
You can continue through this Vector. Your past does not determine your future. The attitudes detrimentally carried by others...need not be carried by you. You're a unique individual; that much in itself, including your potential, points further on.
But yeah :/ bad past. can relate here. Those tethers need to be seen as a weave--all individual strands, some with the bad memories attached, to be divided, and recall more on the good that they gave, while relegating the bad towards what obviously causes them--the attitude, and behind it, the knowledge and beliefs above the attitude furthering it :/ If its all lumped together, the whole weave will seem bad, and cause a greater amount of pain than if the individual threads were seen as they are.
They are not bad people. This brings peace--in the way that you don't have to call others 'bad'. Misguided, is the best term. Misguided by reason, and many, many other factors complicating how the holistic view seems like.
Oh I just spoilered the second >_> err, its to you both Vec. Sorry. If..it was taken badly. just spoilering ahead
words are messy
Alright, regained composure here.
Vector, you can change your future here. The pain from the past does not make up your present. Many others have also had that kind of notion--a reference I've heard being 'life is where love is', said to be as a supporting proverb from my very close friend who has suffered similar circumstances (she smiles as I asked what does that mean :I and gestured that I think about it...though I think telling all this without context [because I'm forgetful :/] doesn't make a very good point in itself...]
Anyway :\ the pain will subside after as far as the memory is remembered; this doesn't mean you should...forget what had happened, though it seems like superficially the best idea, in theory, but the very idea that one can live through such memories and be at peace with them is something to hold on. Maybe talk with people who've met similar circumstances and ask how they cope with it?
Especially, when you manage to find help for those who have--pretty much unintentionally, when you include their reasoning and viewpoint instead of seeing it from your own--hurt you, it'll be a great support that you can repay negative with positive.
Though...yeah. Something I've found to at least disassociate the idea, is to look at it from others' viewpoints, pretty much along with someone else to guide understanding it.
Sometimes, there's also when we are afraid of a situation because we take it in a different way (ie That gently notion); it may seem reasonable on one part, but it would also cause effects which...are not taken into account. One moral story we all learn in Psychology is the Little Albert experiment (totally unethical, but it wasn't seen as such back then). The person in the experiment is OK today though, but the idea is in what had happened afterwards, anyway.
...Err, forgive me if any of my words cause anything bad :X I do not wish for them to be taken in anyway demeaning.
Gah I'll just spoiler it all.
@greatorder: That would probably exacerbate the situation--it'd only 'repay on the same degree' what they've done; one would only learn from it, if they have knowledge of that idea which causes the realization: the act of vengeance does not meticulously work, if this knowledge is not known (other than not actually
going with vengeance, this is the foundation-cause of the 'villainous exposition' mostly played on in the media ._.)