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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9758530 times)

Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89715 on: March 08, 2015, 03:28:35 pm »

Just breathe, remember that people are almost universally not out to get you, and keep cool and collected. A counselor's appointment seems like a fairly logical thing to do.

Good luck!
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scriver

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89716 on: March 08, 2015, 03:31:18 pm »

If it's any consideration, I check the Bay12 forum almost daily by sheer habit. However, I also have almost nothing to say, nor the time to say it. I'm assuming that my life won't slow down for at least a decade, if I don't stop myself. This is being a young adult now...

* scriver waves to ToonyMan

Hello there oldtimer!
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HeroPizza42

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89717 on: March 08, 2015, 03:44:55 pm »

Just breathe, remember that people are almost universally not out to get you, and keep cool and collected. A counselor's appointment seems like a fairly logical thing to do.

Good luck!


      Thanks I know people are not out to get me its mainly the lieing that is giving me a hard every
 time when I start to calm down I remember them and I remember how I trusted them.
     Im watching the show helix now and I will probably get on youtube to calm down more.
  Im mainly afraid of blowing up on the person though its not undeserving its not me I don't like
hurting people or anything for that matter having a therapist helps us to argue constructably
 instead and just going on about something it also helps to get our points across to avoid
misunderstandings in a safe and understanding and privet atmosphere.
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89718 on: March 08, 2015, 04:06:21 pm »

Well, considering that you're both seeing a therapist or counselor--it shows that both of you care, which probably may give the impression that both of you have quirks and errors, but both of you care as the crux. As Arx said, trust your counselor/therapist as they're certified and registered professionals in order to give advice such as that to you (their profession: Help for your well-being. Their experience? 4+ years of studying things like these and many more, depending on their credentials and such).

Either way, the focus still also remains in part with you and how you collect and control your thoughts and words--and how you interpret others' words. The idea of trust, in that case, has to take into perspective many more things rather than previous basis, given that you're both seeing a therapist about it (which already implies that he//both of you are willing towards becoming better, together). Self-reflection on deeds done, and re-reflection on deeds to do, both on your part and on others/his also help open analysis of the situation. :O Sometimes, previous bad experiences influence how we see things, which lead us to assume certain ideas which may...really not be that healthy for us or for others, especially when some incidences really make us believe the unhealthy conclusion and react in ways which stress both ourselves (ie higher blood pressure...raised voice...tensed muscles...blurry thoughts, etc...) and them (all pertaining @the blowing up part), so its always best to keep an open-mind, a patient rhythm, and an accepting clarity [ie accepting personal faults; nothing wrong with that. That's a strength! When coupled with the will to get better, and the will to get mutually better]

Though yes, what Arx said. Trust your counselor/therapist--its a job people spend many years for, and a lot of work to achieve the credibility they have.

To rerail this thread: My sad is that sometimes--the negative effects of the media add to the negative reputation of the mental health field -_- ie Stigma and discrimination due to only <1% of instances which occur which capture the eye of the media (ie {bad} or unethical procedures done by acclaimed mental health professionals). The sad part is it lasts and generalizes institutions which actually forward the advance of understanding and aid of mental health, all because of those vocal few.
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hops

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89719 on: March 08, 2015, 04:19:13 pm »

I find thag the more you worry about sabotsging your relationship with someone, the more likely it will get worse. It might sound like it's the end of the world, but you should give him more spsce or just avoid him for a while. It doesn't mean you have to hate him and divorce him.
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89720 on: March 08, 2015, 04:24:59 pm »

Tiruin has the right of it, I think. It's important to examine yourself as much as the other person, and it's also important to think about why. If lies have been a problem, why were they being told? I don't think that it was to hurt you. Maybe that was a side effect, and that's certainly a bad thing, but if you want to make things work out, then it's sometimes necessary to accept it, forgive it, and move on. That's why you need to step back and examine things - and if you decide that you can't forgive, you need to end the relationship. You need to be willing to do that, and do it without anger. Don't use it a threat. Don't hold onto "making things work" as an assumption that must be your goal.

And, again, trust. It doesn't exactly mean that he should tell you everything about himself all the time. I've included my last post on the matter in case you missed it, but here's the thing - if you're unwilling to extend trust, even though you've been hurt in the past, the relationship is already dead. If that's the case, let it go.

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Popular impressions of communities like that are often frustrating. :( I hope you go on to prove lots of people wrong by being awesome.
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“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

HeroPizza42

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89721 on: March 08, 2015, 04:40:48 pm »

Tiruin has the right of it, I think. It's important to examine yourself as much as the other person, and it's also important to think about why. If lies have been a problem, why were they being told? I don't think that it was to hurt you. Maybe that was a side effect, and that's certainly a bad thing, but if you want to make things work out, then it's sometimes necessary to accept it, forgive it, and move on. That's why you need to step back and examine things - and if you decide that you can't forgive, you need to end the relationship. You need to be willing to do that, and do it without anger. Don't use it a threat. Don't hold onto "making things work" as an assumption that must be your goal.

And, again, trust. It doesn't exactly mean that he should tell you everything about himself all the time. I've included my last post on the matter in case you missed it, but here's the thing - if you're unwilling to extend trust, even though you've been hurt in the past, the relationship is already dead. If that's the case, let it go.

Spoiler: In Case you Missed It (click to show/hide)

----------------------
@Tiruin
Popular impressions of communities like that are often frustrating. :( I hope you go on to prove lots of people wrong by being awesome.


   I already mentioned we both have issues and lieing is not ok in any sense. Theirs more to the story so to
assume its only me or only him that is wrong is not right im just trying to calm down not talk about or add into
those earlier convos as I mentioned I wanted unbiased advise and thank you for the advise it was helpful.
   This is why I posted saying they or them because I deserve the same benefit of the doubt instead of assuming its me who is doing these things  and therefore it must only be or mostly be me who must change im sorry if I misunderstood you though this just how it seems  non the less im still happy  to hear any opinion im done talking on this subject on here if you want to talk to me more on this pm and il reply I cant stand derailing the thread sorry if I have.

edit im sorry I did not word that better I was in a hurry
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scriver

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89722 on: March 08, 2015, 05:59:09 pm »

I purged it with hate and fire.

Incidentally, does anyone know how to clean ash and soot out of a laptop? I think it's preventing it from turning back on.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89723 on: March 08, 2015, 06:03:44 pm »

Scriver: just put it in the sink and wash the ashes out. Plug it in so it can charge while you do so, the battery might be low.
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Euld

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89724 on: March 08, 2015, 06:14:14 pm »

Last night, a drunk driver hit my best friend's family while they were out driving.  All I know is, someone died, the rest are in the hospital.  :/

TD1

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89725 on: March 08, 2015, 06:18:59 pm »

 :(
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WillowLuman

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89726 on: March 08, 2015, 06:20:12 pm »

Last night, a drunk driver hit my best friend's family while they were out driving.  All I know is, someone died, the rest are in the hospital.  :/
Oh jeez. I hope the rest pull through :(
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89727 on: March 08, 2015, 06:21:50 pm »

:<
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Neonivek

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89728 on: March 08, 2015, 06:36:31 pm »

Meh was shoed out of an IRC chat for like 15 minutes straight.

I am not in the right mindset to brush that off without feeling sad.

Seriously they need to invent a cure for depression.

They didn't do anything wrong, I am just a bit too fragile.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2015, 06:41:33 pm by Neonivek »
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TD1

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #89729 on: March 08, 2015, 06:42:30 pm »

Flippin' 'eck. So much coursework. So many distractions.  :-\
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