Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[mastahcheese]

I understand and no what I did was on my own my own mistake I only said to
 hope we can be empathetic to each other and im sorry about your friend I don't
 need to be treated like a princesses its  by accident I came by a post and I dove in
 when I shouldn't of I did not start out to read his posts but what I did I
admit was my mistake and no ones else had a thing to it it was my mistake
I just hope we can get past this and I wont reply anymore either theirs no
 point I learned my lesson now I just need hope that we can both work things out
also my dad is in er possibly dyeing so I was already on edge I should of took a breather
its my mistake and mine alone also thanks for advise and no im not good with comps but I will try email

[redwallzyl]

seriously F these guys! i would personally throw every last one of them in to hell if i could!! that is irreplaceable history!
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEYX_CbwAD8

[Worldmaster27]

Mixed rage/sad today. yay

A guy forced a girl (who has a boyfriend...) to kiss him, and friend-I-respect-immensely was pissed at the guy, as were most other people I know. He's apparently done this before, include to said friend, and he denies that he did anything wrong. Which is rage.

Sad is socials. I feel like I don't contribute anything to conversations, I can't help people with their problems, I'm just in the background.

I'm useless and inept.

[Tiruin]

Hi there MC'sWife. Just a note :O
In the entire history of MC's presence here (which has been quite long), he has never said anything against you at all, of recent note here. Sure, maybe on what you did--on what his environment does, or on occurrences relevant to the specific emotion thread, but he has never (both in Personal Message correspondence and in public) spoken ill of anyone there at all.
...Actually he has spoken nicely of you a lot x3 It was pretty charming.

Regarding what's happening between both of you: How's about dropping the excess baggage that's weighing you both down? Starting it off with an apology, and research on the 'Ego' :O Y'all can be pretty much better--and to insert honest skepticism to what scrdest said earlier? I don't think your relationship is in tatters at all!
Just a rocky, bumpy past with smooth edges on the road, but nothing that can't be fixed if you both try together; that is, without assuming negatives on one side or the other, but talking this out. And talking this out directly
You both need to trust each other more--and when the instance of distrust seems to arise, do not react badly, but point it out (ie I notice there's {something} in your voice?}, by which the other will clarify, or something along that parallel. Personally, a brief review here from me to your posts, and of remembering all his posts, both of you can pretty much get this together and all. Be diplomatic about it (ie calm voice, inquiring tone, non-threatening manner and such and such).
Knowing him, I've to note that he has a...traumatic past, and instances where anger or any perceived threat is brought up causes him to 'shut down', so to speak--he can hear everything and actually has a good answer in mind, but cannot say it due to that crippling memory; if ever this is noticed, assuage that fear by approaching the situation calmly and tenderly, and make it known that you aren't threatening him. If it isn't shown, he's not angry at you but...the general idea is sad, and it isn't at you there. But that he feels pretty misunderstood, and alone (technically, this isn't physical loneliness) and a kind word would go leagues in mutual understanding, especially when it is known.

Y'all should trust each other more, and not put assumptions in the way of being together and/or understanding each other. He's a very understanding guy, and pretty much open to explaining things in the right atmosphere--it'll take time, yeah, but its really worth it.

Mistakes happen, but they're always temporary unless something is done about them, either for good or for bad. An apology also goes a long way in dealing with them here.

However this is all my opinion from many, many experiences, and its a real happy thing to see what you said there.

[Bauglir]

@mastahcheese's wife

The only thing I can recommend is to try to work on trust. It's got a lot more levels than is immediately apparent! There's the level of trust with letting him have an account places that you don't have access to - that choice of his has got less to do with him wanting to hide things from you, and more to do with him not wanting to need to. Often, in long-term relationships, there's a level of stress that goes into making sure you're behaving as expected from your partner - I'm sure you're familiar with that by now. What's normal becomes expected, and it's easy to think something's wrong if anything changes.

Moreover, there's another level - trusting that, when he needs to vent (even if it's about something you've done or contributed to), he is frustrated with a situation, and doesn't want to burden you with trying to handle your own emotions as well as his. Likewise, trust that his feelings are being described in good faith. I don't think he's out to demonize you, or turn people against you who've never met you and likely never would without his help. Sometimes people just need to talk without being judged, and that often means going to people who don't know you well enough to have the context to do the judging (which, for a lot of people, is an instinctive response).

And, even further, there's trusting him to care about you. If you expect him to constantly go out of his way to demonstrate his concern, it tells him that you don't really believe it every time he does. When you tell somebody they're failing constantly, they'll stop trying. If things are going to work, you'll need to let him be himself, and work to avoid reading things into his actions most of the time. And you'll need to do that if things don't work, too - at least if you want to be happy in spite of that. If you can't help but imagine malice whenever it might be there, the whole thing will only collapse in bitterness.

Trust means being able to believe something without reassurance. It's hard. You will have to remind yourself that your anxious fears are not true. It's even harder if your trust has been abused in the past - but the great catch-22 of life is that if you hold that trust back, you all but guarantee that you'll be disappointed.

[misko27]

I...have to say that were anyone from real life to look through my posts it would feel like a violation to me.

Incidentally, this has happened to me. I've still not forgiven the person, but there's not much I can do about it.

[Truean]

I am sad that I have developed a bit of the beginnings of an anger problem.

It's just that I studied things for years and years, and I've literally read probably a million pages or something, on various topics. It's been pretty much most of what I've done with my life.

Whether at work or wherever, somehow somebody will have me explaining something to them, and then, they'll say it.... They'll say something that begins with something like,

"Why don't you just __[Insert really easy thing that can't be done]_____?" as if they're brilliant for thinking of it and I'm a moron for not thinking of it. The sad thing is I have thought of it and I would do it if I could do it. Half the time their suggestions are illegal, or unfeasible, and often impossible. And I'll often explain this and it's something like, "That's called insurance fraud," or whatever. And, I still get looked at like I'm nuts.... I want to scream "WHY DON"T YOU ASSUME I HAVE THE BRAINS GOD PROMISED A SCREW DRIVER AND REALIZE YOU"RE NOT SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE WHO CAME BEFORE YOU?" but I don't. Instead, I just sometimes close my eyes or otherwise shut down for a second to stop myself. Sometimes I do it to compose words. Other times my brain is doing it to keep itself from herniating... I've had people demand completely illegal things of me as if they were ordering a cheese burger and I owed it to them to follow their every command.....

I don't necessarily want to be that way. I just try so hard not to let it bother me and sometimes I even succeed, and I AM making progress on that front. I just feel like I'm tired of having to explain EVERYTHING I do in exquisite freaking detail to anybody who idly asks. Then there's the ever so frequent follow up of some flavor of "that's stupid." And? I can't do jack about it even if you're right. I don't make the rules man. This is what it is, and you're holding up the god damn lunch line..... [sigh].

I just.... it hurts my brain when this crap happens and I don't even.... Bleh.

[Tack]

Are you allowed to say 'This is your business decision, despite it being completely illegal, and if you get burned for it, it's all on you'?

[Darvi]

I think that would make her an accomplice or something.

[Arx]

Wasting my Saturday sitting in a waiting room. My favourite thing.

[Tack]

Roomates don't respect my things.
But I'm pedantic about my things.

So I feel like I need to become less worried about people abusing my shit, but at the same time I think it'd be a really bad learning experience for them if I went 'This is all my bad, I'll get off your case'.


Also the continuous paranoia now every time I post here.
I'm half considering making a new account or something- but... so much history... Identity... blargh.

[Arx]

If they don't respect your things, trap the heck out of your things.

Fiddle with the lock? Needle to the eye!
Open a drawer? Razorblade under the handle!

And so forth.

[Spehss _]

That doesn't seem like it'd go bad at all.

Needle in the eye? Lawsuit!
Razorblade under the handle that's now stuck in their hand? Bigger lawsuit!

[scrdest]

That doesn't seem like it'd go bad at all.

Needle in the eye? Lawsuit!
Razorblade under the handle that's now stuck in their hand? Bigger lawsuit!

You got it backwards. It's:

Lawsuit? Needle in the eye!
Bigger lawsuit...?

[Bohandas]

That doesn't seem like it'd go bad at all.

Needle in the eye? Lawsuit!
Razorblade under the handle that's now stuck in their hand? Bigger lawsuit!

Yes. Due to the way the American legal system and closely related systems work, If you're going to set traps they should probably be deadly.