Somehow I basically got brainwashed to think that I was worthless through a process called
gaslighting. Turns out my parents had been doing it my whole life which made me vulnerable to it. Upon hearing I passed the bar 1st try with flying colors my mom exclaimed, "Great, now you can finally get your head out of your ass," right in front of my dad.....
Wow.
So I'm testifying against these corrupt bastards (again), who for the longest time were totally fucking me over like this in an effort to get away with some bad shit and also not pay me. It's pretty amazing when I look back and review it with the prosecutors. I'm still having some problems with the crap they did to me, but yeah, it's comforting to know the terrible feelings I have about myself aren't real. Completely unbelievable if I didn't live through it and there weren't court papers and newspapers reporting on them.
I'm finally really starting to see it for what it was and recover a bit. The sheer fucking scope of it is staggering. I still have problems with it but wow. In the end I didn't get indicted and the other bastards did. It really is amazing and so incredibly hard for me to believe: both what happened and that I'm actually worth something. When you get yelled at day in and day out, it's hard to see that the people yelling are making the mistakes.... Not you. It's doubly hard when those people are in positions of immense power above you. Slowly getting there, and hopefully not too late.