He doesn't have a doctorate in psychology, just a master's, and though he's licensed he's still in training *shrug*
I'm glad he learned something new ._.
The decision to transition is indisputably the right one, but now I'm scared that it won't work and no matter how hard I try, no one will ever love me the way I want them to, or see me for who I really am.
All of my excitement suddenly turned into hella yuck. With every step forward, I keep remembering why I never took any steps forward in the first place. I feel a sort of hollow despair when I think about the life I'll lead without doing this, but there's that constant fear... that it won't work, and that I should expect poor treatment because that's pretty much what I've gotten most of the time anyhow.
Hey Vector, I wish I could help you. Sorry I can't in person.
I can say that I know someone will see the real you, someday. And they will love you, because you are an amazing person.
And you can do it, I believe in you! And, really, if everything is bad now then things can only go up! #Astalsi
Yo Vector.
All that's up there is fear speaking. Fear out of probably everything you heard about other individuals in the similar or equal situation as you. Try it--or at least be true to yourself. That's the best thing there is--living a lie is the usual statement issued when under social pressure, but in reality its not a lie when it
is you.
In these situations, its usually always the fear which makes it worse. The idea is in self-efficacy, self-image, and self-acceptance, and understanding social pressure. Yea, there are people who lack total understanding that they are seen as incapable of accepting these ideas, or lacking open-mindedness towards this actually being something non-malevolent, but that doesn't mean everyone around you would think that way ._.
It's always the tiny bits of acceptance and knowing that people will accept you that is best, overcoming any and all things worse than before, or in the very least offering you support through hardships.
This sucks, and I'm really fucking lonely because I don't trust any of my friends enough to talk to them about it yet. I know what I want. I also know that I'm surrounded by the sorts of people who are going to keep fucking this up and not having any goddamn understanding of why it matters.
You could ask them initial questions first, like how they think about gender or other notions to break that wall of fear there. You don't have to directly say that you are trans, but get their viewpoint in general before trusting them with a personal topic.
[...]I'm scared that it won't work and no matter how hard I try, no one will ever love me the way I want them to, or see me for who I really am.
Do know that this is impossible in reality--there are people who will love you unconditionally even; the problem is that these people are not in the news, or if they are, are usually in the news which talks about good things.
Don't let the fear eat you up, Vec. I'm trans, and I haven't told this to pretty much many people at all--only a select few who until now are very, very trustworthy despite anything else in their nature, both online and offline, and the very fact that it can be accepted without any malice or scorn is why something like this should not be hidden. I feared telling my parents despite knowing they're very good people--when I did tell them, it was pretty simple. They asked '...ok? So what's wrong with that?'. Cue a bit of questions after for clarity and they're totally ok with it. I'm not comparing or anything--but poking at the 'previous information' bit you've got about people around, and
then using that information to conclude ahead how they'd react...which would then affect how you feel.
Best to ask indirectly first or...'fish the waters', as I think its called?
Though I think this is the first time I've actually posted it in public. Um ._.If you want, I could
pretty much try to... upload that documentary I made on 'Discrimination of Homosexuality in Society'. It was reviewed by those who I performed it with, and while it was noted to lack many bits (due to the scope of the needed documentary and the requirements), they were very accepting of its quality, and the information presented.
...And it pokes on sexism and the general ideas on why these things exist.
Another note here is age and the generation. Older people may be more conservative--but that doesn't mean all are. Everyone has their own unique viewpoint to ideas, and generally regardless of upbringing, they all still have a choice in regards to these notions unless it has been the same idea which wasn't met with new info that keeps it...rigid. You're part of the new generation--first, love yourself Vector, that's the initial thing I've personally found that keeps you steady in life.
In short, if you have to hide being trans, hide it because it's SOCIETY'S problem, and not because there's a damn thing wrong with you.
This, in short, is a thing.
Nothing wrong with you--but how others are.
If you need to check the psychological part of it: Look up
societal pressure. Next is
societal construct (Social Construct) Some people actively want to help, but don't because of societal pressures. Some people want to really be themselves, but can't because of that notion. Some people just don't understand these things, and instead of approaching it open mindedly, they approach it with guarded attitude (neither one way or another) due to such a thing.
If you are sincere with yourself and really, intrinsically feel such a way, then be true to yourself primarily not because of your environment, but how you can really identify yourself as.