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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9701159 times)

Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88230 on: February 12, 2015, 01:04:24 am »

The decision to transition is indisputably the right one, but now I'm scared that it won't work and no matter how hard I try, no one will ever love me the way I want them to, or see me for who I really am.

All of my excitement suddenly turned into hella yuck. With every step forward, I keep remembering why I never took any steps forward in the first place. I feel a sort of hollow despair when I think about the life I'll lead without doing this, but there's that constant fear... that it won't work, and that I should expect poor treatment because that's pretty much what I've gotten most of the time anyhow.
Hey Vector, I wish I could help you. Sorry I can't in person. :(
I can say that I know someone will see the real you, someday. And they will love you, because you are an amazing person.

And you can do it, I believe in you! And, really, if everything is bad now then things can only go up! #Astalsi
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4maskwolf

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88231 on: February 12, 2015, 01:17:53 am »

[REDACTED]

* 4maskwolf hugs Vector
« Last Edit: February 12, 2015, 01:22:35 am by 4maskwolf »
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88232 on: February 12, 2015, 01:43:19 am »

[REDACTED]
I wholeheartedly agree.

...

Also, ugh.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

4maskwolf

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88233 on: February 12, 2015, 01:44:23 am »

[REDACTED]
I wholeheartedly agree.

...

Also, ugh.
You're agreeing with me saying redacted?

Truean

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88234 on: February 12, 2015, 01:44:51 am »

Hey Vector.

If it helps, I absolutely can relate, but ... in reverse? I dunno. I wish I had an answer. The closest I've come is to focus on making your life as best you can while faking it until you make it. I know this sucks horridly, believe me, I live it all the time. I take solace in the small times I get to be a woman with trusted friends, though I can relate to that because those are few, far between, and they often really don't get it, or their families don't. I've been betrayed by a couple of them, saved a couple of them only to have them be hurtful/ungrateful, or had their families be a bunch of homo/transphobic asshats.

In related news, one of my friends has a father who is a total douche nozzle about GLBT stuff. He is totally upset at the idea of his daughter hanging out with me, even though clearly ... nada is gonna happen there. He tried to hit me, I ducked and he hit the wall behind me, so he broke his hand. Moron. Part of me is sad he got hurt, and the rest of me realizes he hurt himself while failing to hurt me.... Screw you for telling your 27 year old daughter who she can and can't hang out with anyhow....

Anyway, Vector, here's something I have figured out about being transgendered and it took me years, and no therapist helped me find it. We transgendered people have to hide shit, because society will be jack asses to us if we don't. The problem is we internalize all that shame and view our hiding it as a validation that there must be something wrong with us.

In short, if you have to hide being trans, hide it because it's SOCIETY'S problem, and not because there's a damn thing wrong with you. <--- That shit right right there, is huge.... I live a lie, cause I effectively have to. For years, I thought I had to live a lie because there was something wrong with me. Come to find out, there isn't shit wrong with me, there's SHIT TONS wrong with society. THAT... That is why I live a lie, it's their problem not mine and I'm just protecting myself. Should I have to, no, but that' their bullshit, and I'm protecting myself from it.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88235 on: February 12, 2015, 01:47:03 am »

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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

4maskwolf

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88236 on: February 12, 2015, 01:48:28 am »

I can certainly get behind things being society's problem rather than the individual.  And that's all I'll ever allow myself to say on the issue, because to say more would unleash a torrent of flammable materials

[REDACTED]
I wholeheartedly agree.
You're agreeing with me saying redacted?
I don't know at this point.
I see...

Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88237 on: February 12, 2015, 02:00:34 am »

Quote
He doesn't have a doctorate in psychology, just a master's, and though he's licensed he's still in training *shrug*
I'm glad he learned something new ._.



The decision to transition is indisputably the right one, but now I'm scared that it won't work and no matter how hard I try, no one will ever love me the way I want them to, or see me for who I really am.

All of my excitement suddenly turned into hella yuck. With every step forward, I keep remembering why I never took any steps forward in the first place. I feel a sort of hollow despair when I think about the life I'll lead without doing this, but there's that constant fear... that it won't work, and that I should expect poor treatment because that's pretty much what I've gotten most of the time anyhow.
Hey Vector, I wish I could help you. Sorry I can't in person. :(
I can say that I know someone will see the real you, someday. And they will love you, because you are an amazing person.

And you can do it, I believe in you! And, really, if everything is bad now then things can only go up! #Astalsi
Yo Vector.
All that's up there is fear speaking. Fear out of probably everything you heard about other individuals in the similar or equal situation as you. Try it--or at least be true to yourself. That's the best thing there is--living a lie is the usual statement issued when under social pressure, but in reality its not a lie when it is you.

In these situations, its usually always the fear which makes it worse. The idea is in self-efficacy, self-image, and self-acceptance, and understanding social pressure. Yea, there are people who lack total understanding that they are seen as incapable of accepting these ideas, or lacking open-mindedness towards this actually being something non-malevolent, but that doesn't mean everyone around you would think that way ._.

It's always the tiny bits of acceptance and knowing that people will accept you that is best, overcoming any and all things worse than before, or in the very least offering you support through hardships.

Quote
This sucks, and I'm really fucking lonely because I don't trust any of my friends enough to talk to them about it yet. I know what I want. I also know that I'm surrounded by the sorts of people who are going to keep fucking this up and not having any goddamn understanding of why it matters.
You could ask them initial questions first, like how they think about gender or other notions to break that wall of fear there. You don't have to directly say that you are trans, but get their viewpoint in general before trusting them with a personal topic.

Quote
[...]I'm scared that it won't work and no matter how hard I try, no one will ever love me the way I want them to, or see me for who I really am.
Do know that this is impossible in reality--there are people who will love you unconditionally even; the problem is that these people are not in the news, or if they are, are usually in the news which talks about good things. :o

Don't let the fear eat you up, Vec. I'm trans, and I haven't told this to pretty much many people at all--only a select few who until now are very, very trustworthy despite anything else in their nature, both online and offline, and the very fact that it can be accepted without any malice or scorn is why something like this should not be hidden. I feared telling my parents despite knowing they're very good people--when I did tell them, it was pretty simple. They asked '...ok? So what's wrong with that?'. Cue a bit of questions after for clarity and they're totally ok with it. I'm not comparing or anything--but poking at the 'previous information' bit you've got about people around, and then using that information to conclude ahead how they'd react...which would then affect how you feel. :-\ Best to ask indirectly first or...'fish the waters', as I think its called?
Though I think this is the first time I've actually posted it in public. Um ._.
If you want, I could pretty much try to... upload that documentary I made on 'Discrimination of Homosexuality in Society'. It was reviewed by those who I performed it with, and while it was noted to lack many bits (due to the scope of the needed documentary and the requirements), they were very accepting of its quality, and the information presented.
...And it pokes on sexism and the general ideas on why these things exist.

Another note here is age and the generation. Older people may be more conservative--but that doesn't mean all are. Everyone has their own unique viewpoint to ideas, and generally regardless of upbringing, they all still have a choice in regards to these notions unless it has been the same idea which wasn't met with new info that keeps it...rigid. You're part of the new generation--first, love yourself Vector, that's the initial thing I've personally found that keeps you steady in life.

Quote from: Truean
In short, if you have to hide being trans, hide it because it's SOCIETY'S problem, and not because there's a damn thing wrong with you.
This, in short, is a thing.
Nothing wrong with you--but how others are.
If you need to check the psychological part of it: Look up societal pressure. Next is societal construct (Social Construct) Some people actively want to help, but don't because of societal pressures. Some people want to really be themselves, but can't because of that notion. Some people just don't understand these things, and instead of approaching it open mindedly, they approach it with guarded attitude (neither one way or another) due to such a thing.
If you are sincere with yourself and really, intrinsically feel such a way, then be true to yourself primarily not because of your environment, but how you can really identify yourself as.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2015, 03:35:27 am by Tiruin »
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WillowLuman

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88238 on: February 12, 2015, 02:08:47 am »

((Just remember Truean's rule about quotations, even if it is a very good quote!))
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88239 on: February 12, 2015, 02:12:07 am »

((Just remember Truean's rule about quotations, even if it is a very good quote!))
Totally edited. Oops. @_@

E: Oh yay new page >_> Now people may have to click one page back to get the context.
Don't look. It's not that important. I think. Maybe? .__.
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4maskwolf

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88240 on: February 12, 2015, 02:15:15 am »

* 4maskwolf bops Tiruin for being silly

Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88241 on: February 12, 2015, 02:28:34 am »

* 4maskwolf bops Tiruin for being silly
I edited out the quote! :-X
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wobbly

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88242 on: February 12, 2015, 02:29:00 am »

Missed 1

[REDACTED]
I wholeheartedly agree.

...

Also, ugh.
You're agreeing with me saying redacted?

I can agree with that too, as I can assume it was just about anything.
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timferius

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88243 on: February 12, 2015, 07:21:23 am »

Miserably sick. Doctor says I just have a sinus infection. Fucking nuts for a sinus infection if you ask me, but he's the medicine man so...
Don't knock the sinus infection, they can mess your shit up. Plus it tends to be on top of a nasty cold. Nothing better than feeling like you were run over by a full dump truck, smashed in the face by a shovel, and like you were gargling hydrochloric acid (9 out of 10 doctors do NOT recommend gargling hydrochloric acid! (the last doctor is an ass, and probably Dr. Oz... because he's an ass).
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Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #88244 on: February 12, 2015, 07:24:20 am »

Is 5:30am, haven't slept for a few days. My language skills are suffering a lot. Int - 90%.
I need to sleep more, but I'm not able to. Fun! I might just stay up all night to fix my sleep schedule...
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